At this rate I'm going, by year end, I'll have a handful of SCORES to keep me happy until someone invented the internet oh wait...

As far as I can remember, he has been known as a ‘smooth/sweet talker’ by most women around him.

When I was just his friend (we were friends for 10 years before we dated), this ‘skill’ of his made me say, “OoOoOo! Shooo shweet and romantic!” but when he used it on me during our ‘courtship’, I screamed, “BEAUTIFUL? ME? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY? IS IT BECAUSE I SUFFOCATE YOU WITH MY PERFUME? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” slapping my knees hard and continue guffawing like a mental lumberjack with spits running down my chin.

Yes. Yes. I wondered the same thing too every single day of my life. Why would he want to marry me?

When he switches off his ‘sweet talker’ mode, he’ll use his ultimate gift of all: THE ABILITY TO interact with E-VE-RY-BO-DY AND A-NY-BO-DY on this planet regardless of their status, age, gender, strangers, friends or family AND, AND, AND they instantly warm up to him and become friends for life. READ: FRIENDS FOR LIFE!

Believe me, if he wanted to, he can charm a tube of toothpaste to communicate with him and next thing you know, the toothpaste and him have matching BFF bracelets together. Hmph.

I hate that about him. It comes so easy for him to start a conversation with people whereas I get tongue tied, feeling extremely awkward, and eyes darting towards the nearest exit when I’m with people ESPECIALLY STRANGERS. Why do you think I’m only loud in my blog but quiet when you see me face to face?

But one day, something happened that wobbled his self-confident and question his gift of charm (Insert evil laughter)

The mister went to a nearby food stall to buy us dinner one night. I stayed home watching CRIMINAL MINDS LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS okay digressing much, meh.

Then he came back, he was muttering to himself with confused expression all over his face. I asked what’s up.

The mister: The guy who made the burger had such sour face!

Me: U’huh… (Thinking myself: So?)

The mister: He was so unfriendly! He didn’t even look up or talk or anything! I had to deal with his assistant instead (furious)

Me: Oooookaaay… so you talk to his assistant and not the owner?

The mister: Yes!

Me: Oookaaaay… is it degrading your standard to talk to an assistant instead of the person who made the burger?

The mister: NO! It’s just weird that the guy didn’t talk to me. I’m his customer!

Me: U’huh. So… this is the first time people refuse to talk to you huh?

The mister: YES! It’s CRAZY!


Holy fucknuts! I just HAD to share this ultimate extreme cyooooteness of glutton display! Suddenly I'm craving for broccoli soup...

Funny Pictures - Hamster Gif




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