Pray, Eat and Bum in front of the TV.

My family normally don’t celebrate Eid al-Adha or commonly known here as “Hari Raya Haji”. When we do celebrate, we do it low key. We just cook simple traditional Raya food like curry chicken and 'rendang' and eat in front of the TV. No visiting friends and relative.

Pray, eat and bum in front of the TV. That's how we roll.

This year, since all my mom’s children are scattering all over the world and I'm the only one in Miri, we decided not to do anything. At all. So I stayed home and cooked something different for my husband instead of the usual menu.

I made roasted whole chicken stuffed with dirty rice.

Many asked why is it called dirty rice. I honestly do not know. I found the recipe online and decided to try it and it was delicious! The dish was originally from New Orleans. I stuffed the rice in a roasted chicken just to try something new and man, the taste was mind blowing!

Dirty Rice

1. 1 lb. chicken livers, washed, rinsed & trimmed
2. 2 cloves garlic, minced
3. 1 c. chopped onion
4. 1/2 c. chopped celery
5. 4 c. uncooked rice
6. 1/4 c. chopped fresh parsley leaves
7. Salt & pepper to taste

1. Cook the minute rice according to package directions. Add in chicken stock for taste.
2. Pulse liver until almost liquefied.
3. In a large pan, sauté the garlic until fragrant. Cook the meats until browned.
4. Add the vegetables and salt & pepper, and cook until tender. If the mixture is too wet, let it reduce.
5. Gently fold in the rice. Season with salt and pepper. Garnish with parsley.

The roasted chicken’s recipe was from the great man himself, Jamie Oliver and here’s the recipe (I made few changes of my own):

• 1 whole chicken
• 2 medium onions
• 2 carrots
• 2 sticks of celery
• 1 bulb of garlic
• olive oil
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 lemon


• Preheat your oven to 240°C/475°F/gas 9
• There’s no need to peel the vegetables – just give them a wash and roughly chop them
• Break the garlic bulb into cloves, leaving them unpeeled
• Pile all the veg and garlic into the middle of a large roasting tray and drizzle with olive oil
• Drizzle the chicken with olive oil and season well with salt and pepper, rubbing it all over the bird
• Carefully prick the lemon all over, using the tip of a sharp knife
• Put the lemon inside the chicken’s cavity (I squeezed the lemon all over the chicken and put the lemon among the veg)
• Place the chicken on top of the vegetables in the roasting tray and put it into the preheated oven
• Cook the chicken for 1 hour and 20 minutes
• Baste the chicken halfway through cooking and if the veg look dry, add a splash of water to the tray to stop them burning
• When cooked, take the tray out of the oven and transfer the chicken to a board to rest for 15 minutes or so.

There you go. Try it if you like and tell me about it, ey?


He's turning 9 months very, very soon!

8 out of 10: I don’t really know what I think about

Thoughts in my head

1. While walking from the car park to the office:

“They see me walking… they hatin’… because I swag like a nigga on patrolin’…”
Chamillionaire gonna sue me for butchering his song so badly.

2. While climbing the office’s staircase:

“This exercise is so worth it. When I reach level 3, for sure I lost 3kg!” Never happen.

3. While talking to my friends:

“I’m not weird. THEY ARE!” I am weird.

4. While jotting down notes in a meeting:

“I'm a little teapot. Short and stouts. Here is my handle. Here is my spout” And at the same time I doodle a teapot with fangs and hairy arms on my notebook.

5. While drinking my morning tea:

“I’m catwoman! See me pounce! Mrrooowwww!” I have no idea why…

6. While shopping online:

“THAT. IS. A. BEAUTIFUL. VASE. I. WANT. THAT. VASE” The vase was not on sale. It was part of the decoration for an online clothes boutique.

7. While watching Masterchef U.S:

“I can cook better than Chef Ramsey. Pfft. In fact, I AM CHEF RAMSEY!” No I’m not.

8. While driving:

“Everyone is too busy concentrating on the road to notice me singing out loud and using the steering wheel as a microphone” No they are not. They are staring at you, moron.

Alina's Kidney Surgery Part II

Read Part I

The operation that was supposed to be 3 hours turned 5 hours. Everybody took the opportunity to take a nap while waiting. As for me, I went back to the hotel to get Kaisan to rest. Poor guy was up the whole time with us.

At around 7pm, one of the nurses called my sister to come down to the operating room. Alina woke up already and the operation was A-OK!

My sister went inside and spends some alone time with her daughter. I don’t think seeing your 4 months old first born strapped down with 4-5 tubes, groggy, and whimpering after a surgery is easy for any parents. Even as an aunt, seeing my niece like so made me hug my son extra hard at night…

Then the nurses wheeled Alina to a special pediatric room where there were nurses on standby 24/7 for her. Alina slept the whole night and the next day, she woke up with gusto! But not before she stared down her mother menacingly as if accusing my sister for putting her through hell. Ahh… that’s my girl! She got her spirit from me, you see (shameless aunt)

She had one tube on her throat, one tube on her kidney, one tube in her vajayjay, IV tube on her feet and another IV tube on her hand. As her doctor said, Alina looked just like a Christmas tree. She was on epidural still and slowly they lower her dosage to enables her to nurse.

Alina's scar 10 days after surgery

Because the doctor wanted to monitor her intake, my sister cannot breastfeed her. Instead she was asked to pump her milk and feed Alina through bottle. And because my sister was too stressed, she was unable to produce much! I had to come in and help. So for the next few days, my sister and me took turn to be less than a woman and more like a cow. Moo… Pump, pump, pump.

Up to point that I pump too much that blood came out instead of milk. Man. It freaked me out like as if a zombie was gnawing my breast instead of an electric pump.

7 days later Alina got discharged. It was a giant relieve for all of us.

The doctor unblocked and reconstructed her kidney accordingly and did not remove it because he said her kidney worked 10%-20% but will see in a month time the progress. So next month she will go for another test to see how’s her kidney after the reconstruction. Please pray for some miracle that her kidney suddenly turn perfectly fine, can? Please?

When I think back about what had happened… It was like all were meant to be. My sister and her husband transferred to KL early this month. They were supposed to transfer next year but through God's will, they were asked to go early. It was a coincidence move because as soon my sister in KL, she went to see the specialist and that was when they found out about the kidney swelling to the size of an elephant’s skull. Then because I was on one-week medical leave due to my operation, I was able to go and give support and became a cow. It was like everything has been prearranged and all went well after that.

By the way, because this is a birth defect, insurance in Malaysia does not cover the expenses of the operations. But because my sister’s husband is a foreigner and his Insurance is not from Malaysia, the RM30k was covered.

I now understand why people would ask for donation when there’s major surgery done on their kids. Next time when there's a donation drive for baby's surgery, I promise myself I will donate more to help out.

Alina's Kidney Surgery Part I

Refer to this post first.

4 days after my wrist surgery, I received a call from my sister saying Alina is scheduled to have her surgery early. Like, in two days time early.

I was shocked because initially the doctor said to wait until Alina reach 6 months old or 8kg whichever comes first. But Alina was only 4 months old and 6kg! Turns out her kidney SUDDENLY swell to a size bigger than an adult’s kidney and because it was so big, her surgery will be treated as an adult surgery. The doctor said there’s a high chance of complication and risk.

The last sentence felt like icy water being thrown at me. Without much thought I booked a flight to KL and flew with the husband and Kaisan the very next day. On the very same day, Alina was brought to Gleneagle to be admitted.

I don’t know why Alina’s kidney suddenly engorge to an abnormal size nor do I know exactly what the doctor was saying when he explained everything about Alina’s kidney condition to us on Alina’s first night in Gleneagle’s pediatric ward. But I do know, during the surgery the doctor is going to examine Alina’s kidney and if he finds that it is still working like 20% or more, he’s not going to take it out but will do some sort of reconstruction on the kidney’s tube.

That evening, Alina received her IV jab on her feet. The doctor said she have to fast for at least 5 hours before her surgery. That. Is. Epic. Fudge. How the hell can you keep a baby from nursing her mom for 5 freaking hours???? And Alina nurse like every half and hour!

Are you telling me I cannot milk mommy for 5 hours? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But it was necessary so the next day, I went to Gleneagle’s pharmacy and bought two pacifiers, hoping it’ll help to appease Alina’s hunger a bit. Didn’t help much because Alina does not use pacifier since birth so the rubber tit felt weird to her. She sucked a bit then spat it out. I tried to give Kaisan the pacifier too and he too made weird faces and threw the pacifier away.

The surgery was scheduled at 2pm so while waiting, we tried many things to make Alina comfortable during her fast. We walked her around the ward to sooth her cries while dragging along her IV fluid. We were noisy with our silly act to cheer her up. And we were everywhere, going in and out of the ward to buy or to take something for her. Anything to make her happy.

The nurses there were extremely helpful, friendly and accommodating. I wouldn’t say having the whole clan down at the waiting room easy, what’s with our demands and constant pacing and questioning, but they were polite, full of smiles and patiently answer our questions to ease our worries. Whether they were genuine of not, we don’t care. We were extremely appreciative at their professionalism and warm-hearted gestures.

At 2pm, Alina was asked to change into the surgical gown and wheeled to the operating theater. Quietly I recited some Quran’s verses and prayed everything will work fine for her.

To be continued...

P/s I was just informed by my sister that the reason why Alina's kidney suddenly enlarge was because it was filled with way too much urine.

Le Sigh...

I want:







I FINALLY went for the dreaded Tendonitis surgery!

I had it two weeks ago actually. I was supposed to go earlier than that but due to many commitments and events that tied up my schedule; I postponed it until I couldn't take the pain anymore.

The procedure was quick and I went in with no fear. I was just... anxious to get it over and done. Scalp knives and needles don't bother me anymore. My only concern was whether it will be too much for the husband to take care of me, Kaisan and at the same time, man the entire chore of the household while I recuperate. Turns out, he managed it well. He even managed to cook some delicious meal for us. And there I was, doubting his cooking skill... Oh well. It's good to know we still can surprise each other after all these years.

Back to my operation... As soon as I reached the hospital, the doctor sent me to a room to change into a peek-a-boo hospital gown. Man... I hate that gown. It's NOT flattering at all. The color looks like frog's puke and worst of all -MY NAKED BUTTOCK IS FULLY EXPOSE!

I grumbled the entire time. It doesn't make sense for me to wear the gown when it was my wrist that was going to be operated. I mean I can just wear a sleeveless shirt, what! But nooooo! They just love to hear me yelp when my naked butt touched the cold seat at the hospital.

I choose the local anesthetic (fully awake but no pain sensation) for the surgery because I was told it will take less than 15 minutes. At first I wanted to be knocked off entirely (general anesthetic). Not because I was scared of the blood or seeing my wrist being cut open but because I NEEDED THE SLEEP. I was exhausted from work, home, Kaisan, family and assignment. So at first I told the doctor, "GIVE ME THE GENERAL ANESTHETIC AND WAKE ME UP NEXT MONTH!" but then I remembered how lately my brain just doesn't functioned that well where I tend to forget things and that scares me. I was told by a friend that too much anesthetic can do that to a person's memory.

So far, I had 3 surgeries done on me. The first one was a cyst surgery and I had general anesthetic. Then I had c-sec, toenail removal and lastly this tendonitis surgery with local anesthetic. Man... No wonder I'm suffering from an early Alzheimer! But don't take my words. I was just repeating rumors and it is not meant to be scientific expert opinion.

The 15 minutes surgery turned 1 hour plus. The doctor talked to me the entire time on what he was doing while I closed my eyes trying to rest. I may not have the same opportunity to rest again so I just listened to the doctor with one ear while my mind wanders.

The doctor gave me 3 injections on the wrist to numb it and once I stop screaming "OW OW OW THAT'S PAINFUL!" to "Hmmm? What? You're stabbing me with a knife? I can't feel anything. Can you stab harder?" he then made a small incision on my wrist and removed the damaged tissue to allow the tendon to move without giving me pain. Once done, he stitched it all up and tada!

The numbness lasted until the next day which was great. But once the drug wore off, oh man... THE WRIST! THE WRIST! THE WRIST IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!

I was asked not to use my right hand so most of the time at home; I just sit with Kaisan and sleep. I can't carry my son but when push comes to shove, I just use my arm to lift him instead of using my hand. It was painful but bearable. I can't use the computer and my handphone. Being fully right handed is a bitch.

4 days after operation, I went back to the hospital. The doctor checked my wound and ugh... Blood stain all over the bandage. I was straining it when I was forced to use my hand. I cringed badly when I saw how gruesome it looked.

Because it was not healed properly and still swelling, the doctor did not remove the stitches and asked me to rest for another week. This time I followed his instruction... Like 30% of the time. I had to wear a special type of casing to prevent me from using my thumb and also, I cannot get my wound wet.

Today, the stitches all taken out and it still feels slightly painful. I was told it will take at least 6 weeks to 6 months for it to fully heal. Wow. That long? I can pop out another baby with that time alone.

So that's my update on my wrist surgery! Next, I will write about my niece's surgery.

Stay tune!

I'm tempted to say BITE ME but that's so 25 year old.

I have been radiating negative energies lately. God knows why. Even when I swear I'm perfectly happy in the inside, I still jolted some poor bastards with my electrifying negative current. So I was told. Many times. Like a millionth times a day.

"Why are so bloody snappy lately? My head hurts from all your snide remarks, woman"

"What did I do wrong? I just misplaced the baby for a second and you're already attacking me like a wild hog!" (I'm only KIDDING with this one. Never happen, MOM!)

"For God sake, Balqiz! Chill the F off! Just delete the App and download a new one. You do not need to throw the phone away just because your Facebook App crash"

"How the hell would I know? If you could just TELL ME that the fried noodle belongs to you, I wouldn't have eaten it. Jeez, woman. I'll buy a new pack for you now!"

"Mom, I am just A BABY. I cannot control the direction of my sudden barf!" (Actually I was PERFECTLY OKAY with this but everyone said I look like I was about to swallow my son whole when he accidentally spat formula on my only clean shirt)

Maybe it's my face. I have super serious face and I was told I have evil menacing glare that can scare a crow into doing a pirouette. If so, I'm sorry I was born with Maleficent the bitch's face.

Even when I'm smiling, I was told I look like I'm about to suck out people's soul and sell it to the devil.

Maybe it's the words I used. I tend to be very crisp with words when I'm tired, busy, too frazzle with so many things happening all at once, too many things on my mind, and when I'm just plain lazy.

Or maybe it's the way I talk. Most people tend to misinterpret what other people are saying just by the tonation used. Look, I do not have an interesting nor melodramatic tone like those of sopranos. I have a very monotonous and droning voice. Even when I'm excited, I sounded like I'm bored to death. When I scream "OH WOW OH GOD OH GEES!" it's like me commenting on the weather, "Oh it's raining. Great" and when I sing, I sound like a walrus being attack by a shark.

Maybe it's my body language. I was told I radiates and oozes confidence just by the way I sit and walk. It intimidates and at the same time scares people. When in fact, when I walk, 99% of the time I'm singing "What (what) In My Butt" song

And even when I'm dancing happily, I was told I look like I'm doing a creepy ritual dance for the dead.

Well, maybe without me knowing I AM indeed a big ball of negative energy walking and talking and it shows even when I THUNK I'm perfectly peachy.

Maybe because of all the grumblings I have going on in my head. Maybe because I tend to keep my displeasure over small matters to myself rather than voicing it out because it's so insignificant and pointless.

Maybe because of what has been going on lately what's with my wrist operation, my niece's operations, and work and assignments and all the people that irks my sensibilities.

Maybe because of all the angry tweets I tweeted lately in Twitter.

Or maybe I'm rubbing it from the people I was around these past few days. Maybe THEY were the one with all the negative vibes and I got the brunt of it because I absorb people's energy easily, be it positive or negative.

Maybe I used to many MAYBES here. Maybe I should just shut up and do my assignment. The due date is looming over my head and when it falls, it will be like a mountain heavy.


Short update

I just came back from a week long visitation to KL to give support to my sister's daughter's kidney operation (will blog further on that) and also finally took out my wrist stitches (I had an operation 2 weeks ago. Will blog about it also soon) and I just started work today and I've thousand of emails to catch up and I just remember my assignment is due next week Thursday and I haven't starter SHIT and my next subject's assignment will be out this Sunday (FCUK MY LIFE) and my house is a bloody mess (we left in a hurry -will write in details about it soon) and I have 3 new books plus a magazine that I MUST READ BECAUSE IT'S THE KEY TO MY SANITY and by the time you finish reading this, my brain just combusted and splattered bits and pieces of brain meat all over my monitor.

You are welcome.

GUEST POST: Just Passing Through...

Hi! Holla! And How ya'doin'?

You must be thinking how in the world The Mister (that's me by the way... her Husband...) ended up scribbling a short something in the Mrs's Blog? Don't worry, I didn't sneak into her Blogger or anything. The Mrs was the one who asked me to say a little something-something while she's currently recuperating from her mini-minor surgery to her wrist. Oh, don't worry, she'll be back sooner than you think with her colorful stories to entertain everyone before you can say Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Now what can I talk about? We'll I guess everybody has been wondering how have I been handling parenthood lately since I haven't blogged in a while. Truthfully all I can say is its definitely a first-time-father would NEVER have expected! I mean you can plan, blueprint, DNA map, sketch out a schematic and what-ever-nots all you want... but the bottom line is, most of the time you just shoot form the hip and hope the shot shoots straight and true! (FYI, this is how I'M handling parenthood, and so far I'm breezing through with flying colors! ...with a few microscopic bumps along the way...) In other words, taking from a popular ad, I'M LOVING IT!

The midnight feeding, the cleaning of bottles, nappy change, tantrums, bath time, the cleaning afterwards, putting on his clothes, going through half a dozen formula's, making his baby food, drying his clothes from the washer... I can go on and on and on, and for the unmarried man, this would sound like a freaking nightmare! But I promise you guys, you'll be whistling a different tune once you hold him (or her) for the very first time and whisper a short prayers in both his ears, looking into his small face and swear to The All Mighty you'll beat up anybody who hurts him to a steaming puddle of slush! ...hmm, dejavu...

Spending time with my son and watching him grow up, I now understand when parents say that sometimes they think babies, toddlers, children, kids... they just grow up too fast! It's been a whirlwind 8 months and watching the Little Mister (the Mrs calls me The Mister remember?) and time just flies by too fast and I (and the Mrs) still haven't had enough of our Little Dragon. Why Dragon you might ask? Well he was born in the Year of The Dragon with the element of Water! Which pretty much answers why he loves his bath time and anything related to water! Have you seen the picture of the Little Mister at the beach yet? I look forward everyday to what the Little Mister is going to show me, everything and anything, and wishing quietly that he wouldn't grow up too fast...

We'll I guess that enough of my thought for today, I purposely meant to waste a few minutes of your time just for the fun of sharing :-D

Nuf' Said. Laterz!

New Pet

"Ma, can I keep it? Please?"

"Sure, son. Go ahead. But it would eat your face at night."

How I Failed As A Mother

This is a password protected post. Email me for password.

Rookie Daddy and Mommy Mistake!!!!

I just don't know where to start. Part of me wanted to claw my face in despair. Another part of me just wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.


Internet, brace yourself for idiocy beyond infinity: My son is actually JUST TURNED 8 MONTHS.

Just last night I told my husband Kaisan will turn 9 months this week and we were like oh no wonder he's starting to shift his butt to the side whenever he crawls -he's learning to sit.

But today, my baby development app suddenly bleeps telling me "YOUR BABY IS 8 MONTHS OLD TODAY!" and I was like, huh? Is this thing broken or what? Kaisan is turning 9 not 8, idiot. Then I looked at the calendar and count and OOOOO MAAAAAAAAAI GAAAAAAWD HE IS TURNING 8 MONTHS! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER AM I? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW OLD MY SON IS!

I know it's not a big deal to most. I mean, it's just one month different right? Wrong. What about all the jabs he has been given all these while, huh? Wrongly calculated age means Kaisan has been receiving jabs that are meant for babies one month older than his actual age.

Be right back. I'm going to crawl underneath a rock and cry until Kaisan come and fetch me with a decent sandwich.

The OMG Moment of Parenthood

Remember I once said that Kaisan knows how to pull himself up into a standing position? Yes. Well, few nights ago he was standing while holding on a sofa and next thing we know, he leaned forward and STANDING ON HIS OWN UNASSISTED ERMAHGERD MY SON IS STANDING ON HIS OWN ALREADY FUCK YEAH I WAS SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF.

I hesitated at first to put this on Youtube because I like to remain anonymous (Pfft. Right now I bet there are more than a dozen people in the office who are reading my blog) but I decided to just go with it. So here's the short clip on what we managed to capture that night.

Why yes, that crazy lady screaming is totally NOT me. Check out her floral pants.

You totally should ask her for fashion advice.

The outdoorsy one

Clearly, he didn't get this love for outdoor from me.



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