I have been radiating negative energies lately. God knows why. Even when I swear I'm perfectly happy in the inside, I still jolted some poor bastards with my electrifying negative current. So I was told. Many times. Like a millionth times a day.
"Why are so bloody snappy lately? My head hurts from all your snide remarks, woman"
"What did I do wrong? I just misplaced the baby for a second and you're already attacking me like a wild hog!" (I'm only KIDDING with this one. Never happen, MOM!)
"For God sake, Balqiz! Chill the F off! Just delete the App and download a new one. You do not need to throw the phone away just because your Facebook App crash"
"How the hell would I know? If you could just TELL ME that the fried noodle belongs to you, I wouldn't have eaten it. Jeez, woman. I'll buy a new pack for you now!"
"Mom, I am just A BABY. I cannot control the direction of my sudden barf!" (Actually I was PERFECTLY OKAY with this but everyone said I look like I was about to swallow my son whole when he accidentally spat formula on my only clean shirt)
Maybe it's my face. I have super serious face and I was told I have evil menacing glare that can scare a crow into doing a pirouette. If so, I'm sorry I was born with Maleficent the bitch's face.
Even when I'm smiling, I was told I look like I'm about to suck out people's soul and sell it to the devil.
Maybe it's the words I used. I tend to be very crisp with words when I'm tired, busy, too frazzle with so many things happening all at once, too many things on my mind, and when I'm just plain lazy.
Or maybe it's the way I talk. Most people tend to misinterpret what other people are saying just by the tonation used. Look, I do not have an interesting nor melodramatic tone like those of sopranos. I have a very monotonous and droning voice. Even when I'm excited, I sounded like I'm bored to death. When I scream "OH WOW OH GOD OH GEES!" it's like me commenting on the weather, "Oh it's raining. Great" and when I sing, I sound like a walrus being attack by a shark.
Maybe it's my body language. I was told I radiates and oozes confidence just by the way I sit and walk. It intimidates and at the same time scares people. When in fact, when I walk, 99% of the time I'm singing "What (what) In My Butt" song
And even when I'm dancing happily, I was told I look like I'm doing a creepy ritual dance for the dead.
Well, maybe without me knowing I AM indeed a big ball of negative energy walking and talking and it shows even when I THUNK I'm perfectly peachy.
Maybe because of all the grumblings I have going on in my head. Maybe because I tend to keep my displeasure over small matters to myself rather than voicing it out because it's so insignificant and pointless.
Maybe because of what has been going on lately what's with my wrist operation, my niece's operations, and work and assignments and all the people that irks my sensibilities.
Maybe because of all the angry tweets I tweeted lately in Twitter.
Or maybe I'm rubbing it from the people I was around these past few days. Maybe THEY were the one with all the negative vibes and I got the brunt of it because I absorb people's energy easily, be it positive or negative.
Maybe I used to many MAYBES here. Maybe I should just shut up and do my assignment. The due date is looming over my head and when it falls, it will be like a mountain heavy.
Maybe.
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