The one where I try to gloat about my pathetic blog and why you shouldn't read it coz WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?


 
This is how I see my blog. A bunch of colorful everything in one go. I kid you not.


Recently, I’ve been having more visitors to my blog than usual. And THEY SPEND LIKE 30 HOURS OR MORE IN MY BLOG LIKE, DON’T YOU HAVE A LIFE? NO? WELCOME TO MY WORLD! WE ARE BUDDIES FOR LIFE! *Secret handshake only my blog readers know*

And, and, and… from Google Reader, I found out I have 46 people subscribing to my blog *TEARS OF JOY* (IT’S NOT A BIG NUMBER SO JEER ALL YOU LIKE BUT I’M HAPPY STILL SO GO BOIL YOUR HEAD)

Not to mention, those who linked my blog in their blog like HOLLY MONKEYBALLS! I’M HONORED!

Until now, I still don’t know why strangers like to read my dirty rants. I asked around but no one close (aside from my husband and my Mom) actually reads my blog so… *Shrugged*

I blog because it seems like the perfect way to let the voice in my head be heard. In another words, it’s my way to shut the mother fucker up so I can sleep peacefully or the voice gonna yap 48 hours a day and 365 days a week. Don’t believe me? Ask the Mister. He knows how difficult it is for me to fall asleep at night. I would toss and turn and irritate the fucking hell out of him or I would ask him 1001 questions that goes in my head until he threatens to “put me to sleep with my pillow”. KIDDING!

And I am easily bored. I would shut down my blog for a while then reopen it again later. I would move it to one web blog to another and change my domain, like oh, I don’t know? A gazillion times maybe? Or I would change my blog layout, theme, fonts, colors, widgets, header and etc. And I don’t stick to one genre. It can be photography. Then cooking. Then my personal life. Then the places I go. Or people I meet. Or whatever that suits my fancy.

Even with my ADD running rampage in my blog, I still managed to gain few loyal readers who follow me wherever I go (when I move my blog elsewhere or change my domain name). These readers put up with my ADD like a loving, patient mom with her psycho kid.

“Please put down the knife, Balqiz. Stabbing your pimples will just make it worst. Let Momma fix it for Momma little cupcake”, she crooned lovingly and softly.

And what’s so sweet is that some even email me once in a while to comfort me when I’m down, congratulate me or just simply to say, “Hi, I’m your silent reader. I really love reading your blog” Awww… (Can you email me WHY you like reading my blog? Just curious. Kthxbai)

So, to all new readers, before you add me in your blogroll, do be informed that I curse ALOT, I don’t think twice to write the word VAGINA, my grammar is atrocious and I’m don’t bother to fix it coz I (YES, ME!) see it as part of my charm (plus the cussing) and I’ve sick sense of humor. I repeat. SICK. SENSE. OF. HUMOR.

If you have the stomach for it, by all means, full speed ahead I say!

Till then… Bai.





Hate when I don't update? Well, join the fucking club


The last trip really saps my energy. This will be the last. No more traveling for me. Plus, I’m broke. I’ll be eating pebbles from now on. Please, if you see me, don’t stare *Do the crazy eyes*

And since somewhere in my mother’s side of the family married a real honest to goodness sloth, the genetic resides me in. BUT OF COURSE. No surprise there. So as a normal half sloth, a quarter human and another quarter peanut, I hereby attached a story I wrote on the plane. Just to keep this blog alive and kicking and do the Russian dance. No grammatical check, no photo, no nutty funny ha-ha remarks, no whatever God! Why am I TAKING SO FUCKING LONG TO TYPE ALL THESE LINES?

So here goes nothing…

*******************************************************

On a flight back to Miri, I met a real life DICKHEAD.

I was boarding when I asked a male flight attendance to help me carry my luggage to the overhead compartment. He gave me a look which said, “You gotta be kidding me”. I glared at him and handed him my luggage. He sighed and said, “Can we do this together?” Like what the fuck? Are you a man or are you a pussy? Fine, I helped him heave my luggage up and to my despair, though my luggage was not heavy (less than 5kg –my butt cheek is heavier than that!) it was too bulky to fit in the compartment.

Again he gave me his I-didn’t-get-laid-last-night-that’s-why-I’m-such-a-vagina-today look and said I have to put it underneath the seat in front of me. Whatever, bitch. So there I was trying my best to shove the luggage underneath the seat but as I said, it was too bulky. I then decided to take some things out and put it on my lap (books, not bras and panties for your delicate information) and shoved the luggage again underneath the seat and it fits in nicely.

Before the plane take off, one of the senior flight attendance spotted my luggage and asked me why I didn’t put it in the overhead compartment. First of all, I was exhausted. I just had a two long, grueling days attending a course that exerted all my brain cells to the fullest. And then I had to catch the earliest flight as possible so I can go straight to the office to take care of some urgent work. My rational self wanted to say, “It’s my fault. My luggage is too bulky. Just like your eyes. My, how toady you look today, sir” but as I said, I was tired so my demon self snarled and pointed to the dickhead flight attendance.

Dickhead then went all whiny. He said, “HER (oh me oh my, save the accusation for another day will ya!) luggage is TOO BULKY so I yetta yetta yetta under her seat bla bla bla (I couldn’t be bothered to listen more so at this time I already switched on my iPod)”

The senior, obviously didn’t believe Sir Dickhead Lancelot, asked for my luggage and I handed it to him. Dickhead complained, “YOU’LL SEE. IT’S TOO BULKY IT WON’T FIT IN!” and the senior flight attendance single handedly raised it to the overhead compartment and… IT FITS IN NICELY! BOOYAH DICKFACE!

The look on dickhead’s face was enough to make me do a little triumph jig but I just smile demurely.

If only he know I took out some stuff out of my luggage…

FTMFW!



P/s Dickhead avoided me the whole 2 hours and a half journey. FIST BUMP!




FANTABULOUS BIRTHDAY PARTY EV-EERR!


 

Turning 30 is not that bad when each and every one of my friends came to show their love and support.I'm lost for words to describe how grateful and happy I am.

I am indeed blessed.

THANK YOU!!! You guys are the best!


 

Thank you for the gifts! 

 

Thank you husband for the flowers!!! 

I Love You Guys!


P/s this is my first Saturday in a long, long time where I can stay home and do nothing at all. Gonna visit the land of Zzzz in a bit. Lazy weekend ahead! Yayyer!





 

FANTABULOUS BIRTHDAY TRIP EV-ERRRR!!!


As I mentioned previously, my Cambodia trip was cancelled due to circumstances beyond my control (FUCK YOU TO HELL AND DAMNATION FOREVER AND EVER WHATEVER YOU ARE THAT I CANNOT CONTROL SO YEAH I AM A CONTROL FREAK GO EAT DUNG YOU JUDGEMENTAL SON OF A BABOON!)

*Cough daintily*

Since it’s practically a tradition that I haul my butt far, far away from Miri on my birthday, I decided to drown my sorrow in KL and shop till my wallet decided to commit suicide by drinking gallons of gasoline.

My mom and sister accompanied me as the Mister had to work (Oh cry me a river boo hoo hoo) and we had A FANTABULOUS TIME!

There were few surprises in store for me.

First were of course, the birthday gifts.

iPAD 2 FOOOKEEEERRRSSS!!!

Then gifts from the Mister (you can see all of em in the previous post. Why, yes. Yes, I am gloating and showing off. I hope you DO ENVY ME COZ YOUR JEALOUSY FEEDS MY SOUL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA moron HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA fuckers HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA idiots HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA chickadees HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA butt naked HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA)

Please… I just had coffee. And… coffee made me… AAAAIIIIIYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! *running around a circle* Dudududududududududududududu *Do the Egyptian dance* Dudududududududu… Dududududududududududuuudeeeee. Yeah coffee does that to me.

*Please wait for half an hour for caffeine to ride out*

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Look at snails.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Bite snails.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Waizz….zzzzz…z.z….zzzz…..

Oh where was I?

Second surprise was the two unexpected trips to BEEEP and BEEEP (I bleep it coz I am a buttface)

Those who follows me in Twitter, knows where I spend my birthday, no?

Those who don’t but super jeee-ni-yus with buttcrack that runs for miles can identify where I was JUST BY LOOKING AT THE PHOTOS I AM IMPRESSED PAT BACK PAT BACK PAT BACK PAT BACK COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I TYPE BUTT IN THIS ONE POST ALONE AND IF YOU GUESS IT RIGHT I’LL PAT YOUR BACK ANOTHER 10 TIMES HOW ABOUT THAT EH?!


 

There is no better place to be when you turn another digit older than to be in a historical city which coincidentally celebrating its city day the same day as my birthday.

 


MNG white singlet
Unknown brand black jumpsuit
Gucci sunglass
Coach handbag
Sketchers shoes


Then went back to KL to shop until my wallet had a cardiac arrest (that’s the reason why the Mister got me a new wallet -EXCUSES!!!)

 

MNG red turtle neck
GUESS? jeans
F21 black scarf
Sketchers shoes
Coach handbag
3kg weight gain I am so fat it's fucking ridiculous.

And the next day, off to the next destination where it was -7 Celsius, cold like a mutherfucker, snow everywhere and yes, snow in April. Booyah!





Then I went back to Miri dragging along flu, cough and cold fever. Thanks to all the friggin' snow fight me and my sister had.

*Groan*


Bai.



FANTABULOUS BIRTHDAY HAUL THIS YEAR!!!


 


1. Nine West black ankle boots
2. Marc by Marc Jacobs iPad bag
3. Apple iPad 2 (INSERT SQUEEEEEEEE!!!)
4.  Christion Dior (Dior Addict) lipstick & lipgloss
5. Channel eyeshadow
6. Calvin Klein Jeans wallet
7. Zara, Topshop, F21 & Guess clothes I dumped all in that one giant paperbag


1, 2, 4, 5, 6 & 7 from the Mister
3 from my family


THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!


I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!





30 Years of Wisdoms, Achievements and some things I just can’t change. Happy Birthday, Me


On wisdoms

1. I learned that what goes around comes around. No matter how small the deed is (good or bad), it will come back to you (as repayment or punishment) sooner or later in life.

2. I don’t have to waste my time putting up with something that I don’t like. I have a choice and I can walk away from it rather than putting myself up for misery.

3. When I learn to love and accept myself, I realized I am perfect the way I am.

4. I learned when you judge others by their past, you are a moron.

5. It’s OKAY to say NO. Being a martyr is as fun as stepping on fresh dung.

6. I learned that when you EXPECT and RELY on people to make you happy, you never will be. Happiness comes from within. Only you yourself know how to make YOU happy.

7. I learned that when you USE people to achieve some advantages in life, you are signing a death warrant. Work hard YOURSELF to achieve what you want.

8. Sometimes it’s okay to call it quits. There are things you just can’t do and can’t change. Let it go.

9. Treat and pamper yourself every day. Who else can appreciate you the way you wanted to be appreciated?

10. I learned that I can still have my way when I’m flexible with other people’s rules and ways of getting things done.


On achievements

11. Scoring top marks in school despite no tuition class, no reference books to study, no support and confidence from teachers and families, no money, and plenty of emotional and mental abuse from people I shall not named.

12. I once given up on life and had in fact tried to seriously harm myself three times or more. The idea of living was more terrifying than dying. I don’t know what pull me through. All I know, in time I found strength and peace in my battle with depression and heartbreak through what I called –inner guidance.

13. I watched the man I loved for 8 years changed before my eyes, betrayed me, broke my heart, brought out demons in me I never thought I had, cheated on me, taken me for granted and damaged me till I still bore the scars. He divorced me and then later married the girl he was chasing while he was married to me. I picked myself up, moved out from the house we build together, held my head up high in the divorce court and smiled when I signed the house off releasing my name from it, not asking a single cent from him nor wanting to fight for what I deserve. I choose peace of mind over money and revenge. So if there is a one winner, it is me.

14. One of my biggest and proudest successes in life is my job. 4 years ago, I joined one of the largest corporations in the world and worked hard and for that, I received multiple recognitions and quadrupled my salary within a short span of time. I am forever grateful with Mr. A, Mr. A and Mr. D for seeing something worthwhile in me when others don’t. Thank you.

15. Just when I thought there are no good men out there, I met the Mister. It was not an easy to penetrate through a mindset of a woman who had gone through a lot but breached it he did. I learned to trust again and to let go of the past. Best gift I gave myself ever.

16. I was a shy kid, an awkward teenager and a confused with low self esteem lost young adult with no idea what I want in life. 3 years ago, I found my equilibrium. I experiment with fashion until I found my own style, hang out with diversified group of people, dabbled with many types of hobbies and activities, went travelling by myself to many places, and had a lot of adventures. I laughed a lot. Found my sense of humor. I am happier than ever. Dare to speak out my mind and stub my nose at naysayers. Today, I am 30 years old and I am finally comfortable in my skin and smile in the face of the world to say, BRING IT.


On things that just never change

17. I still watch cartoons. I’m a 30 year old woman who watches cartoon every single day.

18. I still like to read historical/regency romance books. Yes, since I was 11 years old until now.

19. I still daydream a lot.

20. I still believe in happily ever after and fairy tales come true.

21. I still am a hopeless romantic at heart.

22. I still cry when I watch/hear touching stories.

23. I still scream OUT LOUD LIKE SOMEONE IS STABBING ME REPEATEDLY when I’m startled.

24. I still can’t bake for the life of me. Sigh!

25. I still am a home person.

26. I still am stubborn, bad tempered, irrational at times, selfish and lazy.

27. I still donate to those in needs, willingly throw my whole heart and self to help others, loyal to the core, forgive easily and very independent.

28. I still am a chatterbox

29. I still want to strip Keanu Reeves naked and give him a body scrub.

30. I still appreciate clean toilet, the smells of perfume, black sexy boots, good food, romantic comedy, fast cars, men who goes to gym, hanging out with my best friends, laughing out loud, running my hands on carpets, and many more.



15 April 2011- Happy Birthday, me




Goodbye 20s. Hello 30s!





Money and Parenting


I was listening to a group of parents talking about their children’s university and how much they spend for the books, fees and so on and so forth. Part of me was shocked to hear of the cost these parents had to come up with just to see their kids properly educated. But another part of me pretty much guessed that sending a kid to a university nowadays is equivalent to a price of Queen Elizabeth’s crown.

Then one parent (let us called him P1) said, “I don’t pay a single cent for my son’s study. I asked him to take a loan for it”

The rest of the parents were stunned. “But how will he pay for the loan? Is he working while studying?”

P1 answered, “No. He’s taking the government study loan –PTPTN. Once he graduated, he’ll pay the loan back. Besides, the loan will be his incentive to work harder to find himself a good job because he knows he owes the government money. If he owes me money, FAT CHANCE he’ll pay me back” and PI roared out laughing.

The rest smiled hesitantly. But they don’t agree with P1’s method.

“Why are you burdening your son with debt? You are adding his stress”

“Don’t you want your son to earn his money for his future house? His future wife/kids?”

“You know how difficult and hard life was when you started your life as a young graduate. Don’t you want to give your son the easy way to start his life?”

And many more questions were thrown at him.

He just smiled confidently and said, “I’m introducing him to the real life. Living a hard life taught me to be a strong, independent and a smart man I am today. If I give my children everything they wanted, they will never learn or appreciate the value of money and hard work. They will be pampered. They will only know one thing –when they need money, Daddy is there to bank-in. What? Daddy is not money making machine okay! Daddy also works his ass off to get the luxurious life Daddy is living!” and he laughed louder.

I can’t help but laughed along.

I mean, I agree wholeheartedly with P1.

“Well! That’s… That’s… insane! I do not want to burden my children let alone to see them living a hard life! My kids are not spoilt even when I give them everything!” exclaimed an angry mother (AM).

I kept my mouth shut. I know for a fact AM just spend RM50k for her son’s wedding, bought her son a house cost RM300k and till this day, AM still have to cover her son’s expenses because her son is not working. A married man but a jobless one.

Now, that is the power of a parent’s love.

I rather keep my opinion on this matter to myself. To each his own I say. Every parent has their own ways of developing their children’s well-being.

But it does make me think –if one day I open a saving account for my kids for their future, am I giving my kids a ticket to hell and damnation? Will they take it for granted Mummy has a stack of cash for them in their account and as they reach a certain age, Mummy going to release the money to them? Or will they appreciated the gesture and be a sweet grateful person Mummy wants them to be?

I guess it also falls down on how do you raise your children, eh?





The Un-Female Characteristic. Why, yes. It's me, again.


Once upon a time, I moved into a new house and until now I still haven’t finish unpacking some of my things.

Blame it on the weather.

Or my crazy hormones famously known as Shedolf Hitler the Queen of all Evil Female Douchiness.

Or the election (*snickering*)

Or the plain obvious fact that I simply own shit load of stuff. FTMFW! *throw confetti*

But of course, the most glaring and plain fact is that I’m just HOLY FUCKING SHIT LAZY.

Judge me, please. Oh go on and judge me. You know you want to.



Some of accessories are dumped on my dressing table.

Some I just simply hang it on the cupboard’s doorknob.

 

But I think hanging it at the doorknob is the most AWESOMENESS idea E-VER. Rather than buying an accessory hanging thingie rooooooite?

Again, FTMFW yo!

Bai.






Well, at least give me SOME credits for TRYING


Since God forgot to inject domestic female hormones in me when God created me, it took me a while to figure out what can I add to the new house’s guest toilet.

Flowers? Photo frames of me and the Mister singing in the shower? Statue of naked proboscis monkeys? Disco balls? Pots and pans? My many collections of old newspapers?


Then it struck me. Plants! Potted plants! Green potted plants! Brilliant, me!




Yes, it's plastic. Deal with it.



*Pat self at the back* Well done, me! One step, plastic plants. Two steps, WORLD DOMINATION! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA koff koff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bai.

Crazy hot weather + Balqiz = Shewolf in labour


This is not a paid post. This is just a post to help you cool down in this heaty April.


The mister found me this ice-cream in a local supermarket and I could kiss his feet! Why, yes. Yes it is THAT delicious. It suits my tastebud and made me purr instead of growling and biting people's head off (blame the weather)


Besides, the color is so pwetty. Purple for mangostine flavour.

Best. April. Relieve. Food. Ever.

Wish it comes in a bigger size though...

Meh.




 

Express gratitude wherever, however, whenever and to whoever you can, so says the quote


“Good Morning! Is that for me? Why, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! That is so SWEET of you! What did I do to deserve such thoughtful surprise? You just made me the happiest woman today! Aren’t you the most wonderful person ever? THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH! I cried

The tea lady just gave me this look:

(-_____________-)’’

I don’t blame her. She makes me tea every day at work and suddenly today, I literally made her jump out of her skin when I exclaimed my excessive gratitude.

I must learn to control my Monday morning enthusiasm.






Furry eyes


Fake lashes sure makes a big difference.


Now, I just need to figure out how to put it on without poking my eyeballs out.




I Smell Love...


He put on his perfume just before bed just so when I snuggle close, the scent gives me the sweetest most beautiful dreams... 
That's how thoughtful he is.


I almost threw a bloody tantrum today due to one bitch screwing up my work at the office so I stormed out and went grocery shopping and bought myself...


UDANG GALAH (Fresh Water Prawn) !!!

I reached home and straightaway cook it and 10 minutes later:



Udang Galah Masak Lemak Cili Api 

My prawn look so relax.  It even crossed its arms while smiling up at me. My broth must be so warm and cosy for it to chill like that.



It was simply délicieux!

The prawns are so happy dancing in my stomach.

Fully sated.

Bai.

I have serious issues with Pitt Bull's new song -Hey Baby


So Listen up..

Ooh La La La
If your girl wanna play, let her go, so let her go (La la la…)
If your girl wanna play, let her go, so let her go (La la la…)
If your girl wanna play, let her go, so let her go (La la la…)
If your girl wanna play, let her go

(Oh yeah, like wow. Repeat that until next year, will ya? I have all the time in the world)



(Chorus) [T-Pain]

Hey baby girl what you doin tonight

(If I am the product of your loins and or by any chance, 30 years ago, burst out of your scrotum, then yes, you have the right to call me BABY GIRL. If not, have the decency to keel and die)



I wanna see what you got in store

(Why? So you can rob me?)



Hey baby – givin it you all when you’re dancin on me

(You wouldn’t want that, believe me. My Nine West boots dancing on you will leave marks. Nasty ones)



I wanna see if you give me some more

(I can inhale 2 pieces of durians in 2 seconds. Why, yes. Yes, you can watch)



Hey baby – you can be my girl I can be your man

(Ever heard of the word –PE-DO-PHILE? You is so C-R-E-E-P-Y, yo)



And we can pump this jam however you want
Hey baby, pump it from the side bend it upside down
Or we can pump it from the back to the front

(Pump what? Where? WTF are you talking about? We no speak Americano, you crazy Americans)



Hey baby
Ooh baby baby, La La La La La La La.. (Aaah)
Ooh baby baby, La La La La La La La.. (Aaah)
Ooh baby baby, La La La La La La La.. (Hey Baby)

(Let’s sit and talk. From what I have heard so far, I think you have issues with your father when you were young. Did he leave you and never return? Hmm? Daddy wasn't there to take you to the fair? Daddy wasn't there to change your underwear? It seems he doesn't care? Daddy wasn't there? Hmm?)



Ooh drop it to the floor, make you wanna say it
Yeah you can shake some more, make you wanna say it
Ooh you got it, because you make me wanna say

(Make me say what? Where? GAH! Stop with this mystery twist shitnots, M. Shamalalalayan-wannabe!)



Don’t stop it – I want you tonight
I’m a Dade county, self paid self made millionaire
I used to play around the world, now I’m around the world – gettin paid
Girl problems, no problems – doin anything that won’t solve em
I wanna get witcha mami, now let me see what the lord split cha


(Yetta. Yetta. Yetta. Boooring. You talk too much. I’m outta here)


 Bai.



The Universe is against me



1. 18th March - Went for a laparoscopic surgery to take out a 3cm in diameter cyst in my ovary. I still have the scars. Not fucking likely to post the gruesome image here. Tough shit.

2. My birthday trip to Cambodia has been cancelled due to circumstances beyond my control. Badass. Disappointment. Ev-er.

3. IRB taxed half of my bonus, making my dream of owning a Lumix camera and iMac desktop go POOF!

4. IRB taxed me again this April. Kaw-kaw broke my piggy bank.

5. I bought myself a cake mixer only to find out I don’t owned an oven to bake shit (Mom gave me her old one last night. Thanks, Mom)

6. Went to Universal Studio, Singapore with the Mister but couldn’t play the two famous rollercoaster and other death defying games in fear my stitches might burst open and sprayed unexpected people with my guts and gory intestine.

7. There’s a spawn of evil in my office making my life miserable.

8. I worked so hard on designing and creating a business web blog for a friend just to find out the business is not going through.


9. My car spoke to me this morning asking me, "M-M-M-M-M-O-O-O-N-EY". You and me both dude.

10. The skin on my face is getting better but now the flaking has gone down to my neck and chest. Where can I purchase myself a space suit?

11. My voabulary is as limited as a 3 yr old.

12. My photography skill decided to live with the homeless, smoke pots and chase birds for fun.




The theme of my life these few months~ Cirque du Freak: A Living Nightmare



Bai.

HEY LOOK WHAT MY PERIOD CRAMP CAN DO PLAYING WITH MY BRAIN THIS IS PRETTY COOL TOO RIGHT WHATEVER INSANE ASYLUM GO SUCK THUMBS NYE NYE NYE NYE OH CAN I HAVE ICE CREAMS PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE?


Dear Period,

I know you’re coming soon. Your bloody self, I mean. Maybe in the next 3-4 days? But I would like to make a special request this month. Could you please come faster? Like maybe right now as I’m typing this down?

I’m so sick and tired of you playing this game. IT’S NOT FUNNY DAMN IT. You poke me. Then you’re gone. Then you poke, poke, poke me so hard until I wanted to SCREAM BLOODY MURDER and then you quieted down. And then you gleefully do it again the next day. And it goes on like that for a week. I’M SO FED UP WITH YOU THAT IF YOU’RE A SOLID PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME I SWEAR I’M GOING TO SLAM YOU WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER AND RUN YOU OVER AND OVER WITH A SCOTTER WHILE LAUGHING MANIACALLY AND DANCING NAKED ON YOUR GRAVEYARD DIE YOU MARSUPIAL DIEEEEEE!!!!

There. That’s how much I adore you barging into my life every month.

Not only am I troubled by your constant prodding with your blunt knife, I am also terribly emotional. Yes. Yes. I know you come in a package. A whole goddamn package. Cramps, emotional outburst, back pain, lack of appetite- the whole shebang. Is it really that fun to cause menace in my body, having wild orgies in my ovaries, playing tick-tac-toe with my emotions? Huh? Huh? Huh? I can’t see the fun in it! AY CAAAAAAAAAAANNOT SEEEEEEEE ITTTTTTTTT! I CAN ONLY SEE MY BLOATED TUMMY WHICH YOU! YES YOU CAUSED IT DAMN YOU PMS DAMN YOUR SOUL TO ETERNAL HELL AND DAMNATION OH DIE YOU SICK BASTARD DIEEEEEEEEEEE!

Why is everything and everyone against me?

*sobbing at the corner*




Yours faithfully,

Me.

Day 26 ~ A picture of something that means a lot to you



This is a cutlery set given to me as my wedding present from my best friend, Aveen. To me, it’s not the value of the gift that matters. It’s the effort she put in to be with me on my special day that means a lot to me. She came all the way from Johor Bahru just to attend my wedding. If that is not friendship, then I don’t know what is.


Thank you, woman. You really made my day that day.




 

A Magical Find



Few weeks after we moved in the new house, we found not one but TWO of this money plant (I think it's money plant. I would prefer to call it Trump Plant or YOU WILL BE A BILLIONAIRE IN 2 YEARS TIME MUHAHAHAHAHAHA. Too long huh? I figure as much) at the backyard.

My MIL helped to re-pot it and now both are striving under the rule of my purple thumb MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA Too much huh? Ok. That's the last evil laughter in this post. I promise.

Me and the Mister decided the best place to put it is at the patio -where water from aircondition can drip in the two pots without me having to water it everyday. Sim-ply GE-NI-US!


Sayur Labu Masak Lemak




I deliberately post the photo as big and as wide as possible just so you can LICK YOUR MONITOR COZ I COOKED THIS DELICIOUS DISH ALL BY MYSELF YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! High-five, Me!

This dish has always been my favorite ‘sayur masak lemak’ (Direct Translation: Vegetable Cook Fat) however NOT ONCE have I eaten one that is PRECISELY AND EXACTLY as how I wanted it to taste like.

And God knows why and how, suddenly yesterday I was inspired to cook the dish EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO BE and after half an hour wrestling with pots and pans in the kitchen, smoke in my eyes, blisters on my fingers -I DID IT!

As soon as I took a sip, I can hear my dead ancestors singing cheerfully behind me. Aaah… bliss!

The mister enjoyed it as much as I did so it’s a WIN!




Current Project Clue Numero Dos



Managed to figure some problems about the HTML code but the web blog is still not compatible with all computer screen. Few more adjustment and I should be able to launch it by next week. I hope.

Not So Skintastic



I’ve been having problem with my facial skin these past 2 weeks. After suffering from blotchiness, redness, and itchiness for a week, my skin decided to imitate a snake by peeling profusely. Doctor advised me to not TOUCH it (I touched), do not peel it (I absent-mindedly peeled some off while watching TV), do not wear make-up (Now THAT IS TALKING SHIT! I can’t walk around the office looking like decompose corpse with bits and pieces of my face waving around!)

Thankfully, I look much, much better today. By better, I mean makeup works wonder to hide A LOT! I can even hide a treasure map tattooed on my face with my super fantastic concealer.

This morning while getting dressed to work, the Mister carefully asked, “Are you still… Flaking?”

I said, “Yeah but not so much. Why?”

“Coz there is pieces of skins in the toilet’s sink”

*FACEPALM*







 

Copyright © Balqiz 2012 | All rights reserved | Blog Design by Krafty Palette.