Asking the right questions can get you... Negative response. All. The. Freaking. Time.

“I am so disappointed with XX’s decision to buy a new car. I don’t know how XX going to pay for 2 cars with his/her salary. And XX have too many debts to pay in a month!”

“Does XX know you’re talking to me about this?”

“Err… No. But sooner or later, you’ll know about this too anyway. There’s no point hiding the fact”

“It is still XX’s privacy isn’t it?”

“I’m just sharing with you my opinion on this matter”

“Did you share with XX about your opinion?”

“No. XX would never listen. So why bother?”

“Then why bother telling me? It’s none of my business XX is getting a new car and having debts”

“Come on. I just need someone to vent out my frustration”

“Why are you frustrated over someone else’s problem?”





“Hey, do you know Ms. XY?”

“Yeah, I know of her. Why?”

“Wow! Really? I read her blog and just want to know how she is in real life. Is she just like her blog?”

“Hmph. She’s really plain in real life. Her photos in her blog are edited max. And she’s really a mean bitch! You know what she did to my friend’s sister’s friend’s mother’s cat? [Insert 10 minutes dirty gossiping]



“Happy birthday! So what did you get for your birthday?”

“Oh God. You won’t believe this. My boyfriend actually gave me a birthday card and a bouquet of flower. THAT’S ALL! Even when I specifically mentioned to him more than a million times that I want THREE bottles of perfumes! I AM SO ANGRY WITH HIM! Ugh!”

“Aww come on. At least he remembers your birthday. The effort is there, dear”

“Yeah but FLOWERS? Come on! What a cheapskate! If I want flowers I can simply pluck it in front of my house. My mom planted flowers all over the house anyway”



I wish to start a support group for women who are going through marital problems and divorce. I think it will help them to have some sort of emotional support in a way where we can help to listen and give them the inspiration and motivation to overcome their problems. Women needs an outlet to vent out their frustration. And venting it in a correct way can help them to get over it. I want to create a healthy community where women would not take their anger and frustration on other people especially their kids.

“No women in the right mind would want to join. Who would want to share their embarrassing problems?”

“Pfft! That is just an excuse to form a group of gossipers!”

“People can’t keep secrets. One way of another, these poor women’s secrets will be leaked out by those in the group. It’s humiliating to be known as a failure especially in a relationship!”

And many more negative feedbacks received.




So I guess this is goodbye.

Goodbye to beauty queen’s sleep at night.

It has been 2 nights in a row that Kaisan refused formula from his dad. He woke up at 2am, cried and clawed his dad’s face when given formula. He howled, trashed all about and woke the sleeping lion (Ahem. Me) As soon as he sees my face, he threw himself onto my chest and tore my PJs apart. I exaggerate of course. It was an old T-shirt.

I guess 3 months of midnight shift for the hubster is over. It looks like my turn to wake up and do the feeding. Hi, I would like to tender my resignation as Kaisan’s mother. What? It’s a permanent thing? WHERE’S THE WRITTEN CONTRACT THAT SAYS SO?

When I send him over to my mom’s today, I groggily warned her that Kaisan might be difficult because he refused to be bottled the whole weekend. At lunch time, I went there to breastfeed and mom said he was behaving and he drank his bottle eagerly. WHAT? Oh No He Didn’t!

As I was about to scold him for making me look like a big fat liar and he gave me this look:

Anyone seen my glasses?

Damn. I forgot everything. Including my name. My name is Sharon you say? Ok. I believe you.

I took a little break from reality and BAM! It’s the weekend already.

I was down with super weird ailments last few days and yesterday, I crashed hard. I was vomiting, dizzy and had severe stomach pain. I tried to fight it off but my mind was just as screwed up as the rest of my body so trying to THINK I’m OKAY just melted my brain. Didn’t help the matter when my son was so cranky these few days. Teething? More like sprouting fangs I think.

Hubster tried to take over baby duty last night but Kaisan wanted nothing from his dad. He wanted boobies. Tsk. Typical male, ain’t it? So in my delirious and weak state, I had to breastfeed Kaisan while lulling him to sleep. I forgot to take any medication so it’s safe to breastfeed. My forgetfulness sometimes comes in handy, see? I fell asleep right after he started sucking. Then I woke up and he was already in his crib. Thanks, husband. I love you for that.

The whole night, I was restless in my sleep. The hubster swears I was talking in my sleep. I know I was. Few times I woke up by the sound of my own voice reciting the market’s current exchange rate.

Today, since I felt much better, I went and run some errands. By the way, I’m gonna speed things up here to cut the elaborate nuisance I might write that will end up wasting everyone’s time reading it (By everyone, I mean me. I am likely to be the only reader who READS every single word written. Suddenly I feel so lonely)

Send hubster’s Raya material to tailor, went to DiGi to fix my phone line issue, then felt dizzy spells again so I went back and wanted to rest but son gone cranky again so spend two hours plus entertaining his every ridiculous needs like allowing him to shove his arms down my throat, watched him inspect the holes of my nose, and then FINALLY after satisfyingly tortured my soul he fell asleep and I tried to sleep too but my brain just won’t stop yakking so I read a book and just about when my eyes started to drop, son woke up YAAAAAAAHHHHH and that’s about sums up my afternoon.

I have a free evening tonight. It’s such a rare occasion. And I spend it by sitting here in front of the Internet. Nice one, me.

I Need A Doctor... A Doctor... To Fix My Time.

It’s a fact. We human hate changes. Don’t deny it. When your boyfriend broke up with you, the first thing you do is to contemplate your own demise so you don’t have to feel the pain of losing someone you love. You can’t accept that he's no longer in your life. Things are changing. Your life is changing. No more ‘us’ but just you yourself alone. No more calling each other before going to sleep. No more weekends getaway. No more I love you, you love me, and we are a happy tree. If you still don’t get it, that is changes.

We human are condition to live a life of certainty. When our certainties are shifted by power beyond our means, we get panic, scared, angry, disbelief and many more negative feelings attributing to it. And that is ‘change’. But sooner than you know, we’ll adapt to that change. We strive. And we grow. And soon, we’ll go back to that path where we it is familiar –we go back to the life of certainty. Just like 9/11. When the terrorist attacked, the whole world felt the impact. Everything changed. The economy, the lifestyle, the airlines business, the safety rules and regulation and the way we perceive the world change. And as time goes by, life goes on. We move on. We adapt to the changes.

But the thing about life is; it is a cycle. It’s God’s way of messing up with our minds. Just when you get so damn bloody comfortable with your life after that big upheaval you experience a moment ago, God send another change to get that heavy butt of yours out of the cozy couch and here we go again!

For those who learnt from their experience, they strive and continue to strive again and again when the next changes come. For those who don’t, well, here’s a gun. Go shoot some birds. By birds I mean, empty tin cans. By guns, I mean XBOX guns. Don’t get the idea that I’m asking you to commit crime and get the wrath of PETA.

What I’m trying to say here is that, changes appear in my life too and that it sucks.

You see, I love Ramadhan month. I love the festive atmosphere that comes along with it. I love the spirit of giving and blessing among the community that more often than not, only appear during this month (I’m just saying that based on MY OWN experience –please don’t eat my face).

But Ramadhan messed up my day to day schedule.

Just when I FINALLY managed to sort out my time equally with a husband, a baby, a career and a life of my own, everything turns upside down when Ramadhan came. Just one tiny shift of my day-to-day life and everything falls apart.

The rest of the day is okay. I mean, from 7am till 3:59pm, no biggie. But as soon as the clock strikes 4pm, it’s like a giant sea monster is chasing my already-flat-butt.

Usually the hubster and I will break our fast at my mom’s or my sister’s or eat out (by invitation). It’s a rare occasion that we can eat at home. And by the time we’re done with the eating and praying and last minute shopping (if there is), it’s already 10pm.


I didn’t do any reading. Not so much playing with my son because by that time he’s already sleeping. No time to stare at my husband’s eyes lovingly because our eyeballs are too strain and bloodshot due to lack of sleep. And of course, no blogging.

In the next few weeks, I will adjust to this lifestyle. BUT AFTER RAYA, I will have to readjust myself again for the life of AFTER Ramadhan. It's a cycle that makes me swallow my sour saliva and grimace.

These changes may not be a big deal to some but to me it’s like a giant hand is shaking and tossing me until my entire innards splat out on my blouse.

Lesson here is: Be flexible to changes.

The end.

Happy Wedding Day, Grace!

After a year of preparation, finally, last Saturday was my friend’s grand wedding. I was actually down with ten thousand mega watt migraine and the most embarrassing ailment any human being could ever suffer –diarrhea and almost couldn’t make it but at the very last minute I forced myself to go. It's a once in a lifetime event!

It was a very nice wedding, with so many surprises to the bride from her husband and best friends like a group of dancing little Britney Spears and Lady Gaga (I know. It was a free concerts y’all!) Then the husband of the bride surprised her with by singing a beautiful ballad then later gave a loving speech and soon after the bridesmaid all dancing and err… getting drunker by the minute. These people really know how to party I tell you (Not the people in the photos though. They are the most sober and probably the only one drinking orange juice and Coke that night)

I didn’t take that many photos. I was enjoying the food so much even though I ate a lot already during the break of fast. I paid the price of gluttony that night but having another round of gastrick that lasted the whole night. I fell asleep at 6am, just when Kaisan woke me up for milk. Good timing, son. Very good.

6 Months Already!

The day Kaisan turned 6 months old; I went hysterical when he showed me his first tooth. Then the next day, he nearly gave me a cardiac arrest with an appearance of a second tooth. I was like, what the…? HOW CAN TOOTH GROW SO FAST? WILL WE BE SURPISED WITH ANOTHER MILLION SET IN A FORTHNIGHT? Actually we suspected the first tooth grew a week ago and we just noticed it recently. BAD PARENT! B-A-A-A-A-D!

That explained why when we eat, he would gawk at us and well… salivating like crazy. My son is so ready to eat!

Hi Nenek, what are you doing? Eating? What are you eating? Worms? Hmmm... looks delicious!

So on Saturday, I blend some brown rice and cooked it but because I didn’t add salt (NOT ADVISABLE AT ALL) the porridge was too bland and apparently too yucky for him that he spat it out as soon as we spoon it in his mouth.

After asking some friends and family, I added a small piece of steam pumpkin in his porridge and voila! He truly enjoyed his first food. Well, not exactly first because as mentioned before, we gave him watermelon to suck on but when the doctor said it’s not good to give babies fruits at that young age because it'll make em growl like a baboon so we stop.

Anyway, since we’ll be going to Singapore soon, last week we brought Kaisan to make his first international passport. Took his photo weeks ago but as we reached the immigration, we realized WE LEFT THE PHOTOS AT HOME! GAH!!! Luckily, there’s a nearby shop that can take a photo of him and develop it in less than 15 minutes.

I was disappointed he won’t be using this photo which was originally taken earlier on:

LOOK AT THAT FACE! LIKE A TAUKE! My boy, the future tauke balak.

And we managed to take a photo together while waiting for his passport to be readied. Yay!

But when I posted these two photos in Facebook, 99% said “OI GEMOK ODY!” (Translation: FAT ODY!) What FAT? I was 72kg when I was 9 months pregnant and now I’m 52kg! That’s like HUUUGE DIFFERENT! I have another 2kg to shed then I’ll reach my optimum weight. Lower than that I cannot donate blood. And lower than that, I’ll be underweight. Ok fine. That extra 2kg is making me look fat. But...

Mark my word, after Ramadhan, I will be 50kg and will maintain it!




When I first notice it today, I almost cried. OH GET A TISSUE ALREADY YOU CRY PIECE OF *BLEEP*. My son is growing up! But...

I foresee a bleeding nipple in the near future... Ouch!

Tyra just called. She wants her model back.

I just realized me and the hubster just have 2 photos taken WITH Kaisan. I was wondering why we didn’t take more photos WITH him. I mean, we have like 7 million of his photos alone. But only 2 or 3 photos of us as a family, or him with his Dad and him with me.

Then it clicked me. Out of 7,000,000 photos taken that time, ONLY few came out good for framing. The rest we have to delete because:

1) Blurry. He likes to do the Macarena A LOT.

2) He looks cute enough to eat but I look like I just crawl out of a bridge. No, I am NOT going to post/develop/frame a keepsake memory of my son posing with a goblin.

3) Too dark. We try not to use flash in fear it’ll scare the bats away. Huh? What? Never mind.

I decided to try again because well, my Facebook profile photo hasn’t change since China’s last dynasty. So I asked my sister to help. Here are few of the 275 photos taken until we had reached perfection (well, almost):


Kaisan: Mmmmmmmmmmmmommy, let's try and see whether you can breath through your butt?

Kaisan: So what I drink boobies milk? So what I poop rainbows? I'm just having fun. I don't care who sees. So what I barf on mommy. That's how it's supposed to be! Living young and wild and freeeeeee!

Kaisan: First I was like woah, then I was like woooooaaaah! (Kaisan telling me the story of how it feels when the doctor pull him out of my womb)

Kaisan: I see dead… cockroaches.

Finally! Minus the unflattering nose squashed, I think this is a win.

Turn the photo black and white... and voila!

What think you?

Aaaand... ACTION!

My iMac is back! I installed Photoshop Elements 8.0 immediately and OOOOOOOOOOOMAAIGAD!

Bamboo Tablet + P.E 8.0 = MAJOR SQUEEEEEEE!

I'm a Photoshop junkie. Welcome to my addiction.

Just thinking about the many postponed projects makes me sweat blood.

Till then. Bai.

Am I pregnant… again?

No I’m not. What am I? A guppy fish? Unless you know what I don’t know, that is. Hmmm? [Squint eyes]

I have been asked more than, oh, a trillion times a week, give and take, whether I’m pregnant again. I know I’m still retaining my somewhat rounded belly (there’s tequila party going on in there and you are not invited). And I know I’m still quite heavy (hey it’s not like I’m dying!) and I have been very quiet in a nasty mood lately (So you’re saying when I’m pregnant, I’m like a raving baboon out to eat your face? Wow thanks)

People can simply jump into conclusion just because they see what they want to see. So if there’s a bird perch on my shoulder, does that make me a water buffalo?

Lately, people around me have been giving me major emotional upheaval. Some think it’s funny to take on my role as ME. Yes, next thing you know you’ll be seeing another ME going around Miri, with her shirt unbutton because her boobs are straining to burst out. Then some people get overly show off that they constantly rubbing their achievement/wealth that it gets too annoying to not cross my eyes in exasperation. Then there are a bunch of people who see me as a competition that they challenge my capabilities with the intention to pull me down.

Honestly and this is coming from deep, deep inside of me:

1) Being ME

I don’t mind. Really. Imitation is a form of flattery. I just wish they add their own personality into it and make it their own. Then at least I don’t feel too creep out that someone is stealing my identity, wearing my PJs to my bed, breastfeeding my son. CREEPY!

2) Show off

I don’t want what you want. I don’t want what you have. I don’t want what you achieve. And, I am not jealous. At all! In fact, I am honestly, genuinely happy for what you have achieve. It’s just that the negative vibe coming out of you when you puff yourself up, beat your chest and bellow you’re better, greater and smarter than me, is really making me nauseous. Do be a happy Bella instead of be snotty gorilla.

3) Competition

This is another form of flattery. You know you’re at your best stage in life when people see you as a competition. Like you’re not at par with the rest but higher and there are people who want to pull you down by challenging you in a competition of WHOSE BETTER. The part I do not like about this is the constant prod that challenge me to take their bite. Like, “I bought this RM500k house recently. CAN YOU BEAT THAT, HUH? HUH?” No, I can’t beat that. Not now. In five years time, yes I will get myself a RM500k worth of house and I’ll do it with MY OWN MONEY, NOT WITH MY PARENTS MONEY LIKE YOU JUST DID [flip hair].

These people come to me with their negativities; it clashes with my Zen… It makes me really, really tired. Emotionally tired. It’s like; I’m in a middle of a sea, happily floating on my back, smiling and enjoying the sun on my face. Then a huge ship appears, sending ripples of waves to my calm vicinity. Waves after waves coming, and it gets bigger and bigger and hitting my face. OH HOW I HATE SALTY SEA WATER ON MY FACE!

Get the metaphor? Good. Now please send positive vibes back to me. This water buffalo likes a calm sea.

P/s I DO hope you get my sarcasm here. Thanks.

A Mother Monster

How to tell if you are a Mother Monster:

1. When someone ask you why your baby looks pale, you
     a. Say, “Psshh. He’s fine” and pinch your baby’s cheek to make him look flush
     b. Immediately speed dial your baby’s pediatric clinic to make an appointment
     c. Immediately strap your baby to your back and sprint to a nearest clinic barefooted in less than 0.05 seconds while screaming, “MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY! MY SON IS DYING! HE NEEDS URGENT MEDICAL HELP!”
     d. Immediately swallow your baby and give one huge belch.

2. When someone say you’re baby is not cute, you
    a. Smile and agree
    b. Smile and say, “It's okay. To me he’s the cutest baby ever”
    c. Punch the living daylight of that person with a shovel and dump the body in a lake.
    d. Immediately swallow that person and give one huge belch.

3. When someone ask why did you name your baby that name, you
    a. Say, “I once had a dog and he died as soon as I found out I was pregnant so I named my baby after the dog. I was too tired to think of a new name, you see”
    b. Say, “I like that name and the meaning of the name”
    c. Say, “DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY BABY’S NAME? HUH? DO YA? DO YA?” and get paranoid that people are trying to steal your baby’s identity so you threaten to burn your womb.

4. When someone praise your baby for being so clever, you
    a. Say, “Are you sure? She’s pretty dense. All she does is sleep and cry and eat”
    b. Say thank you for noticing
    c. Immediately invite her to marry your husband so you guys can be sister wives
   d. Swallow that person and give one huge belch.

5. When someone wants to hold your baby, you
    a. Say, “Here. You can send her back to me next month”
    b. Say, “Ok. But watch out for his drool”
    c. Glare menacingly and ask you to fill in Borang A, Borang B and Borang C, photostate IC, passport and get you to buy a RM10, 000 worth of Insurance policy.
   d. Swallow that person and give one huge belch.

6. When someone said your baby is fat, you
     a. Prick your baby with a pin expecting her to deflate like a balloon.
     b. Politely correct that person by saying your baby is healthy.
     c. Immediately write an angry post in your blog cursing and calling people idiot, dickhead and put a hex on them with untreated cancer disease curse.
    d. Swallow that person and give one huge belch.


Mostly A: I hope you are trying to be funny.
Mostly B: You are a mother. A normal one. Thank god.
Mostly C: You are weird.
Mostly D: You are actually a real life monster and your best friend is Mike Wazowski.

Ngeh Ngeh Ngeh Ngeh!

Hello Internet! My mommy just submitted her June paper and was so gleeful about it that she has been seen running around the house, hugging and kissing one piece of furniture at a time while screaming THAAAAAANK YOU THANKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUU THAAAANK YOU! I hope madness doesn’t run in the family…

Anyhoo, back to me! I’m FINALLY five months old! Actually I turned five last week but mommy was hogging the computer to do her assignment so I didn’t get the chance to even touch the keyboard. Mommy also said I drool badly that’s why the computer was off limits to me but moooooooooooooooom! I need to tell the Internet what I’ve achieve so far! What’s the point of being able to do something new as a baby if I don’t get to tell anyone! So mommy sighed and said yeah, yeah okay but no surfing porn. I asked her what’s porn but she suddenly got interested studying her nail-less toe. I’ll Google it later. Whatever that is.

In my last post, I just turned four months and I was learning about the magnificent wonder of my fingers and hoooboy! How yummy it was! In between four months and turning five, I discovered something new. INTERNET, HAVE YOU EVER TASTE YOUR OWN FIST? HOLY ANNOYING WHINY ELMO! MY FISTS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I’VE EVER TASTED IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE 5 MONTHS LIFE! [Insert whole right fist in mouth and sucking it profusely] Oommmomommommom…

[Continue typing with sticky saliva fingers]

Annnnd… “I” also learned to sit up! Not that straight though. I still wobble around but boy oh boy did I give my parents a fright when I surprised them by pulling myself up from my car seat and sit up. Tada! Mommy and Daddy were so stunned that they were not breathing for few seconds. I guess it was too much for them to accept that their first born was waaaaaaaaaay advance in his ability. I mean, I haven’t even learned how to turn over on my belly yet nor have I learn to crawl and I’m already sitting upright. Next, taking the bus to town! Yiiiihaa!

But I sooooorta know how to crawl but it’s more of “slithering” on my tummy… get this… BACKWARD! I haven’t master the move to go forward yet but when I’m being put on my tummy, I did hefty amount of push-ups. And when I get tired I cried. Mommy keeps saying, “Why don’t you turn yourself over instead of crying?” Mom, how do I say this ever so nicely? I DON’T KNOW HOW!

I’m already showing interest in big people food too. Whenever Daddy and Mommy sit down for dinner, Mommy would hold me in one hand and the other hand eating her food. Mommy said she wants to practice me to have our meal together as a family. Sometimes they placed me in my baby seat and I get to watch them making a pig of themselves [Ahem. Sorry mommy…] and one day, when I was sitting on mommy’s lap while they were having dinner, I decided to try mommy’s cooking and grabbed mommy’s dinner plate and … oh-o… The rice was all over me and I looked up and gave mommy a huge gummy smile. Thank Goodness Mommy laughed. She said I was getting better at grabbing things and hug and kiss me for my new ability to destroy things. Mommy is weird.

Since it seems like I’m ready to eat, mommy gave me my first real food few weeks ago which was a piece of watermelon. I get to suck on it and ooooomaaaaaaaaaygaaaaaad it was sooooo delicious! When mommy said enough and pulled away my watermelon, I threw the world biggest tantrum a baby could muster. So mommy gave me some more until I had enough. Daddy was unhappy because the watermelon was his dessert. Oops! For my next check up, mommy and daddy going to ask my doctor whether I can start eating solid food this month. AY CAN’T WAIT!

And yesterday, I made mommy cry. No, no it was not a bad thing. I just said “Mamma” twice and she burst out crying and declared I’m a genius. Yes, next rocket science!

Ok, Internet. This is all from me today. Be seeing ya next month! Happy fasting!

Quite possibly one of my biggest fears

Sometimes when I’m bored I would read back some of the recent posts I blogged about but lately, my posts has been a big pile of buffalo’s dung. There’s no enthusiasm, no spirit and no joy. It’s dry, boring and plain. The posts are purely I-need-to-post-something-so-let’s-blog-about-oh-whatever-I-can-type-within-5-nanoseconds. And as a result, it becomes an extremely MUNDANE post that “I” myself wouldn’t want to read even if my life depends on it.

Push aside the fact that I don’t have a device to blog (FOR GOD SAKE HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FIX MY iMAC APPLE PEOPLE?!) and push aside the fact that I don’t have much time ever since I have a baby. I mean, those are REASONS. Excuses, if I may be so cruel to myself. If push comes to shove, I can use my phone. I can even borrow my husband’s Macbook to blog but no, it’s obvious I just don’t have the juice to bring myself to write my story because all my life juices went to the fact that I’m happy. Fact: when people are happy in their REAL life, they spend less time in the World Wide Web and dedicated their time to actually LIVING with real life people instead of spending time with unknown faces online. And I’m one of those people.

I have been blogging for years. This blog has changed the themes, the purpose, the layout, the style and the name so many times that I can’t remember what my initial purpose of having a blog in the first place. I just maintain it because I like writing and I like… receiving the perks that comes with blogging –the money is good. But when the enthusiasm slows down, that’s when I started to panic. Already that I slow down in my reading (Time is not an excuse but the fact that there are no good books around to read is the main issue here) and slowing down in my blog is a sign of terminal disease that will spread until death do us apart –in layman term, stop writing entirely and focus on living [insert shrieking monkey sound]

I have been reading and following blogs for longer than I have been blogging and I follow quality blogs and when I blog, I aspire to post quality posts too (Well, not as high quality as the topnotch bloggers but HOLY MOTHER GOOSE THERE’S JUST TOO MANY “BLOG” & “QUALITY” WORDS IN ONE SENTENCE I DON’T EVEN!) when I posted crappy posts, I feel so dirty like I just posted a naked photo of myself in the shower with my caesarean scar glaring menacingly.

There’s no real purpose of writing this actually. It’s not a justification about my lack of appearance here. I guess it’s just my excuse to get myself warm up to writing again and post it for my future reference one day. If you are still reading this up to the end, I must applaud you for your ability to keep on going despite knowing I am not making much sense here.

Till then, ciao!


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