No I’m not. What am I? A guppy fish? Unless you know what I don’t know, that is. Hmmm? [Squint eyes]
I have been asked more than, oh, a trillion times a week, give and take, whether I’m pregnant again. I know I’m still retaining my somewhat rounded belly (there’s tequila party going on in there and you are not invited). And I know I’m still quite heavy (hey it’s not like I’m dying!) and I have been very quiet in a nasty mood lately (So you’re saying when I’m pregnant, I’m like a raving baboon out to eat your face? Wow thanks)
People can simply jump into conclusion just because they see what they want to see. So if there’s a bird perch on my shoulder, does that make me a water buffalo?
Lately, people around me have been giving me major emotional upheaval. Some think it’s funny to take on my role as ME. Yes, next thing you know you’ll be seeing another ME going around Miri, with her shirt unbutton because her boobs are straining to burst out. Then some people get overly show off that they constantly rubbing their achievement/wealth that it gets too annoying to not cross my eyes in exasperation. Then there are a bunch of people who see me as a competition that they challenge my capabilities with the intention to pull me down.
Honestly and this is coming from deep, deep inside of me:
1) Being ME
I don’t mind. Really. Imitation is a form of flattery. I just wish they add their own personality into it and make it their own. Then at least I don’t feel too creep out that someone is stealing my identity, wearing my PJs to my bed, breastfeeding my son. CREEPY!
2) Show off
I don’t want what you want. I don’t want what you have. I don’t want what you achieve. And, I am not jealous. At all! In fact, I am honestly, genuinely happy for what you have achieve. It’s just that the negative vibe coming out of you when you puff yourself up, beat your chest and bellow you’re better, greater and smarter than me, is really making me nauseous. Do be a happy Bella instead of be snotty gorilla.
3) Competition
This is another form of flattery. You know you’re at your best stage in life when people see you as a competition. Like you’re not at par with the rest but higher and there are people who want to pull you down by challenging you in a competition of WHOSE BETTER. The part I do not like about this is the constant prod that challenge me to take their bite. Like, “I bought this RM500k house recently. CAN YOU BEAT THAT, HUH? HUH?” No, I can’t beat that. Not now. In five years time, yes I will get myself a RM500k worth of house and I’ll do it with MY OWN MONEY, NOT WITH MY PARENTS MONEY LIKE YOU JUST DID [flip hair].
These people come to me with their negativities; it clashes with my Zen… It makes me really, really tired. Emotionally tired. It’s like; I’m in a middle of a sea, happily floating on my back, smiling and enjoying the sun on my face. Then a huge ship appears, sending ripples of waves to my calm vicinity. Waves after waves coming, and it gets bigger and bigger and hitting my face. OH HOW I HATE SALTY SEA WATER ON MY FACE!
Get the metaphor? Good. Now please send positive vibes back to me. This water buffalo likes a calm sea.
P/s I DO hope you get my sarcasm here. Thanks.
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