Baby Making -Part 4

I just had my first ultrasound today and we saw the baby’s heartbeat but because the doctor was in a hurry (as in ‘splat gel-scan-scan-oh-here’s the heartbeat-see that-yes that’s it-here’s a tissue to wipe your tummy-done’ kinda hurry) I didn’t manage to experience the ‘awwww that’s my baby in there sob sob so touching’ moment. Nope. The next thing I know, we were shove out of the doctor’s room and standing outside with a scan image of our baby which until now, I can only see is a black blob.

When I told my friend we saw the baby’s heartbeat she cried, “OMG YOU GUISE! DID YOU CRY? Did you hear the heartbeat? Was it loud? OMG! I feel like I wanna cry!” Hate to break it to you babe but the experience was WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM. I would love to have that special moment with the Mister where we can gaze lovingly at our baby in my womb and Ooooh and Aaahhh and hear the heartbeat and all but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (Being pregnant prevent me from cursing blue streak so yeah, grr is as much as I can muster lately. Le sigh!)

According to my calculation, I am 7 weeks pregnant today. According to the scan, I’m 6 weeks 4 days pregnant. I am so confuse and frankly, occasionally, I find myself forgetting how far long am I actually. What? I’m 6 weeks? Really? Wow. I thought I’m 7 weeks. No? What? 8 weeks? What are you doing messing up with my mind?! But whatever it is, I’m pregnant and my baby’s heart is beating steadily.

I don’t look and feel pregnant much since I don’t do the famous projectile vomiting 24/7 and craving the head of a water buffalo but I do eat a lot (STILL), sleep a lot (NO SURPRISE) and few food I’m avoiding like cheese, cold drinks (including ice cream) and milk waittaminute… Did I write about this food aversion in my last post? No? Yes? God I’m such a forgetful dingbat. But even if I did, I’ll just continue on with the same topic (which obviously tells you that I am also a lazy marsupial to go and check) and no, I don’t feel nauseous with those listed food but because cheese and cold drinks apparently gives me nasty, nasty stomachache. Like as if I just tickle a sleeping dragon when I eat pizza or pasta or ice cream and I’ll go GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAWWWWWWGGGGHHHHHHH! It ain’t a pretty picture.

That’s all from me today.


The Big 9!

Now this time I got my son's age right. I know. I know. Go judge this poor mentally and physically tired mother who can fit in her size 24 jeans and rock her heels like a supermodel on a runway in Millan. YOU can?

Kaisan is 9 months old today and everyday he comes up with something new to surprise us with.

Few weeks ago he learned to clap his hands (finally!) At first it was OH GEE OH MY SHOOO CYOOOT then when he started to clap in his sleep, I was like; okay we need a switch off button for this clapping program and install a sleep button instead. He knows how to wave (with both hands -he wave like as if he's trying to get rid of something icky in his hands), going to walk very soon by the look of it (he's trying to stand on his own without assistance now), climbing, know how to say Mama, Papa, Nene (milk), Mamam (eat) and occasionally we caught him say YAY whenever he's happy.

When people see him, they tend to immediately point out that my son is a hyperactive baby. Even as a first time mother who is also not used to babies' development and such sometimes think that yeah, maaaaaaaaaaaybe he's a tad bit hyper.

He crawls EVERYWHERE; grab EVERYTHING, moving, standing, gnawing, bumping his heads and the longest he can keep still is in half a second. He tests his boundaries by going to places he's not supposed to go, grab anything we hold (TV remote, handphones, books etc) and get frustrated easily when his mobility is restrain by his development skills. It's like his brain is faster than his motor skills because all he wanted to do is to TAKE MY CAR KEYS AND DRIVE HIMSELF TO TOWN when he can't even walk yet.

Epic fail, son.

Since I'm a worrywart (what's new?), I seek some advice from experts (not from know-it-all-mothers-who-KNOWS-MORE-ABOUT-BABIES-BECAUSE-THEY-GIVE-BIRTH-TO-A-MILLION-ALREADY-SO-THAT-MAKES-THEM-AN-EXPERT-THAN-MY-DOCTORS) about his "hyper-activeness" and I found out that Kaisan's perfectly normal and healthy. Phew! What. A. Relief.

Doctors said he's just very inquisitive, curious and has a strong desire to explore.

I just need to control what he eats because some food tends to transform him into Sonic the Hedgehog injected with E. Since I don't add sugar or salt in his porridge, I have to monitor the fruits he eats instead. Most fruits are sweet and just a tad bit of it (like really, really small intake) can make Kaisan ricocheting all over the walls.

Other than that, he's a happy, strong and healthy baby!

Happy 9 months old, son! I love you ever so much!

My son, the friendliest baby in town.

Kaisan is one baby that I know who is never stingy with his smile. To him, smiling is like breathing. It is part of him and it comes naturally and effortlessly.

When he was few days old and gave us his wide smiles, we were like "Awww... so cute! But very common" because you know, we thought it's natural for babies to smile. We thought it was just a reflex or muscle twitch or just plain gas. We are parents with low expectations, see.

But the smiles never stop. It's his charm. It's warm, inviting, and friendly and not at all like Joker smile kinda creepy.

Say HI to him and he would flash his ten thousand megawatt smile at you. Tell him to look at a camera and he would smile without you having to yell "KAISAN! SMILE! SMILE, KAISAN! SMILE!" Call out his name and he would smile at you as if saying, "Wazzaaaaap, ladiezzzzz?"

I have friends who blushed and stammered shyly when Kaisan smile at them. I was like, "What is wrong with you? He's just a baby!" I have weird friends.

But no one can resist Kaisan's smiles. Be it people we meet at a park, in a restaurant, in the LRTs or the entire line of people waiting to pay for their groceries at a supermarket -they are all putty to my son's charms.

There was one time we were in a lift and a mean, hardened looking Chinese guy came in, shouting on his phone, threatening to murder someone with his bare hands. He then glanced over at Kaisan who immediately smile at him as if the guy didn't just glare at us with his throbbing vein on his forehead. The guy then lowered down his voice and smiled back at my son. It's not every day I get to see a rough; mean-ass guy went all gooey-like and started to baby-talk. It was my most uncomfortable lift experience ever.

However, the smile comes with a price. People tend to think that when he smiles, it's an invitation to take him and hug him and kiss him. I'm okay when friends and family do that to my son but not strangers. Call me extreme but I know I am the world most lunatic protective mothers out there.

When I see people coughing or sneezing, I would carry my son and sprint to the nearest exit while my hands frantically rummage my bag looking for hand sanitizer, wet tissues and insect repellent. I know it doesn't make sense but it makes perfect sense to me to protect my son the best way I know how.

The world is a dirty, dirty place. HFM is widely spread. Chicken pox is laying eggs everywhere. Mad cow disease in everyone's touch. And the news about child abductions- Gah! All these just make my spider senses go berserk.

So when you see us in town, flash a smile at my son but don't be alarmed by the scowl on my face. I'm meant to scare you away so you can admire my sweet son from afar. At least it's better than me putting a spacesuit on him with a homing device for protection. Right?


Pray, Eat and Bum in front of the TV.

My family normally don’t celebrate Eid al-Adha or commonly known here as “Hari Raya Haji”. When we do celebrate, we do it low key. We just cook simple traditional Raya food like curry chicken and 'rendang' and eat in front of the TV. No visiting friends and relative.

Pray, eat and bum in front of the TV. That's how we roll.

This year, since all my mom’s children are scattering all over the world and I'm the only one in Miri, we decided not to do anything. At all. So I stayed home and cooked something different for my husband instead of the usual menu.

I made roasted whole chicken stuffed with dirty rice.

Many asked why is it called dirty rice. I honestly do not know. I found the recipe online and decided to try it and it was delicious! The dish was originally from New Orleans. I stuffed the rice in a roasted chicken just to try something new and man, the taste was mind blowing!

Dirty Rice

1. 1 lb. chicken livers, washed, rinsed & trimmed
2. 2 cloves garlic, minced
3. 1 c. chopped onion
4. 1/2 c. chopped celery
5. 4 c. uncooked rice
6. 1/4 c. chopped fresh parsley leaves
7. Salt & pepper to taste

1. Cook the minute rice according to package directions. Add in chicken stock for taste.
2. Pulse liver until almost liquefied.
3. In a large pan, sauté the garlic until fragrant. Cook the meats until browned.
4. Add the vegetables and salt & pepper, and cook until tender. If the mixture is too wet, let it reduce.
5. Gently fold in the rice. Season with salt and pepper. Garnish with parsley.

The roasted chicken’s recipe was from the great man himself, Jamie Oliver and here’s the recipe (I made few changes of my own):

• 1 whole chicken
• 2 medium onions
• 2 carrots
• 2 sticks of celery
• 1 bulb of garlic
• olive oil
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 lemon


• Preheat your oven to 240°C/475°F/gas 9
• There’s no need to peel the vegetables – just give them a wash and roughly chop them
• Break the garlic bulb into cloves, leaving them unpeeled
• Pile all the veg and garlic into the middle of a large roasting tray and drizzle with olive oil
• Drizzle the chicken with olive oil and season well with salt and pepper, rubbing it all over the bird
• Carefully prick the lemon all over, using the tip of a sharp knife
• Put the lemon inside the chicken’s cavity (I squeezed the lemon all over the chicken and put the lemon among the veg)
• Place the chicken on top of the vegetables in the roasting tray and put it into the preheated oven
• Cook the chicken for 1 hour and 20 minutes
• Baste the chicken halfway through cooking and if the veg look dry, add a splash of water to the tray to stop them burning
• When cooked, take the tray out of the oven and transfer the chicken to a board to rest for 15 minutes or so.

There you go. Try it if you like and tell me about it, ey?


He's turning 9 months very, very soon!

8 out of 10: I don’t really know what I think about

Thoughts in my head

1. While walking from the car park to the office:

“They see me walking… they hatin’… because I swag like a nigga on patrolin’…”
Chamillionaire gonna sue me for butchering his song so badly.

2. While climbing the office’s staircase:

“This exercise is so worth it. When I reach level 3, for sure I lost 3kg!” Never happen.

3. While talking to my friends:

“I’m not weird. THEY ARE!” I am weird.

4. While jotting down notes in a meeting:

“I'm a little teapot. Short and stouts. Here is my handle. Here is my spout” And at the same time I doodle a teapot with fangs and hairy arms on my notebook.

5. While drinking my morning tea:

“I’m catwoman! See me pounce! Mrrooowwww!” I have no idea why…

6. While shopping online:

“THAT. IS. A. BEAUTIFUL. VASE. I. WANT. THAT. VASE” The vase was not on sale. It was part of the decoration for an online clothes boutique.

7. While watching Masterchef U.S:

“I can cook better than Chef Ramsey. Pfft. In fact, I AM CHEF RAMSEY!” No I’m not.

8. While driving:

“Everyone is too busy concentrating on the road to notice me singing out loud and using the steering wheel as a microphone” No they are not. They are staring at you, moron.

Alina's Kidney Surgery Part II

Read Part I

The operation that was supposed to be 3 hours turned 5 hours. Everybody took the opportunity to take a nap while waiting. As for me, I went back to the hotel to get Kaisan to rest. Poor guy was up the whole time with us.

At around 7pm, one of the nurses called my sister to come down to the operating room. Alina woke up already and the operation was A-OK!

My sister went inside and spends some alone time with her daughter. I don’t think seeing your 4 months old first born strapped down with 4-5 tubes, groggy, and whimpering after a surgery is easy for any parents. Even as an aunt, seeing my niece like so made me hug my son extra hard at night…

Then the nurses wheeled Alina to a special pediatric room where there were nurses on standby 24/7 for her. Alina slept the whole night and the next day, she woke up with gusto! But not before she stared down her mother menacingly as if accusing my sister for putting her through hell. Ahh… that’s my girl! She got her spirit from me, you see (shameless aunt)

She had one tube on her throat, one tube on her kidney, one tube in her vajayjay, IV tube on her feet and another IV tube on her hand. As her doctor said, Alina looked just like a Christmas tree. She was on epidural still and slowly they lower her dosage to enables her to nurse.

Alina's scar 10 days after surgery

Because the doctor wanted to monitor her intake, my sister cannot breastfeed her. Instead she was asked to pump her milk and feed Alina through bottle. And because my sister was too stressed, she was unable to produce much! I had to come in and help. So for the next few days, my sister and me took turn to be less than a woman and more like a cow. Moo… Pump, pump, pump.

Up to point that I pump too much that blood came out instead of milk. Man. It freaked me out like as if a zombie was gnawing my breast instead of an electric pump.

7 days later Alina got discharged. It was a giant relieve for all of us.

The doctor unblocked and reconstructed her kidney accordingly and did not remove it because he said her kidney worked 10%-20% but will see in a month time the progress. So next month she will go for another test to see how’s her kidney after the reconstruction. Please pray for some miracle that her kidney suddenly turn perfectly fine, can? Please?

When I think back about what had happened… It was like all were meant to be. My sister and her husband transferred to KL early this month. They were supposed to transfer next year but through God's will, they were asked to go early. It was a coincidence move because as soon my sister in KL, she went to see the specialist and that was when they found out about the kidney swelling to the size of an elephant’s skull. Then because I was on one-week medical leave due to my operation, I was able to go and give support and became a cow. It was like everything has been prearranged and all went well after that.

By the way, because this is a birth defect, insurance in Malaysia does not cover the expenses of the operations. But because my sister’s husband is a foreigner and his Insurance is not from Malaysia, the RM30k was covered.

I now understand why people would ask for donation when there’s major surgery done on their kids. Next time when there's a donation drive for baby's surgery, I promise myself I will donate more to help out.

Alina's Kidney Surgery Part I

Refer to this post first.

4 days after my wrist surgery, I received a call from my sister saying Alina is scheduled to have her surgery early. Like, in two days time early.

I was shocked because initially the doctor said to wait until Alina reach 6 months old or 8kg whichever comes first. But Alina was only 4 months old and 6kg! Turns out her kidney SUDDENLY swell to a size bigger than an adult’s kidney and because it was so big, her surgery will be treated as an adult surgery. The doctor said there’s a high chance of complication and risk.

The last sentence felt like icy water being thrown at me. Without much thought I booked a flight to KL and flew with the husband and Kaisan the very next day. On the very same day, Alina was brought to Gleneagle to be admitted.

I don’t know why Alina’s kidney suddenly engorge to an abnormal size nor do I know exactly what the doctor was saying when he explained everything about Alina’s kidney condition to us on Alina’s first night in Gleneagle’s pediatric ward. But I do know, during the surgery the doctor is going to examine Alina’s kidney and if he finds that it is still working like 20% or more, he’s not going to take it out but will do some sort of reconstruction on the kidney’s tube.

That evening, Alina received her IV jab on her feet. The doctor said she have to fast for at least 5 hours before her surgery. That. Is. Epic. Fudge. How the hell can you keep a baby from nursing her mom for 5 freaking hours???? And Alina nurse like every half and hour!

Are you telling me I cannot milk mommy for 5 hours? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But it was necessary so the next day, I went to Gleneagle’s pharmacy and bought two pacifiers, hoping it’ll help to appease Alina’s hunger a bit. Didn’t help much because Alina does not use pacifier since birth so the rubber tit felt weird to her. She sucked a bit then spat it out. I tried to give Kaisan the pacifier too and he too made weird faces and threw the pacifier away.

The surgery was scheduled at 2pm so while waiting, we tried many things to make Alina comfortable during her fast. We walked her around the ward to sooth her cries while dragging along her IV fluid. We were noisy with our silly act to cheer her up. And we were everywhere, going in and out of the ward to buy or to take something for her. Anything to make her happy.

The nurses there were extremely helpful, friendly and accommodating. I wouldn’t say having the whole clan down at the waiting room easy, what’s with our demands and constant pacing and questioning, but they were polite, full of smiles and patiently answer our questions to ease our worries. Whether they were genuine of not, we don’t care. We were extremely appreciative at their professionalism and warm-hearted gestures.

At 2pm, Alina was asked to change into the surgical gown and wheeled to the operating theater. Quietly I recited some Quran’s verses and prayed everything will work fine for her.

To be continued...

P/s I was just informed by my sister that the reason why Alina's kidney suddenly enlarge was because it was filled with way too much urine.

Le Sigh...

I want:







I FINALLY went for the dreaded Tendonitis surgery!

I had it two weeks ago actually. I was supposed to go earlier than that but due to many commitments and events that tied up my schedule; I postponed it until I couldn't take the pain anymore.

The procedure was quick and I went in with no fear. I was just... anxious to get it over and done. Scalp knives and needles don't bother me anymore. My only concern was whether it will be too much for the husband to take care of me, Kaisan and at the same time, man the entire chore of the household while I recuperate. Turns out, he managed it well. He even managed to cook some delicious meal for us. And there I was, doubting his cooking skill... Oh well. It's good to know we still can surprise each other after all these years.

Back to my operation... As soon as I reached the hospital, the doctor sent me to a room to change into a peek-a-boo hospital gown. Man... I hate that gown. It's NOT flattering at all. The color looks like frog's puke and worst of all -MY NAKED BUTTOCK IS FULLY EXPOSE!

I grumbled the entire time. It doesn't make sense for me to wear the gown when it was my wrist that was going to be operated. I mean I can just wear a sleeveless shirt, what! But nooooo! They just love to hear me yelp when my naked butt touched the cold seat at the hospital.

I choose the local anesthetic (fully awake but no pain sensation) for the surgery because I was told it will take less than 15 minutes. At first I wanted to be knocked off entirely (general anesthetic). Not because I was scared of the blood or seeing my wrist being cut open but because I NEEDED THE SLEEP. I was exhausted from work, home, Kaisan, family and assignment. So at first I told the doctor, "GIVE ME THE GENERAL ANESTHETIC AND WAKE ME UP NEXT MONTH!" but then I remembered how lately my brain just doesn't functioned that well where I tend to forget things and that scares me. I was told by a friend that too much anesthetic can do that to a person's memory.

So far, I had 3 surgeries done on me. The first one was a cyst surgery and I had general anesthetic. Then I had c-sec, toenail removal and lastly this tendonitis surgery with local anesthetic. Man... No wonder I'm suffering from an early Alzheimer! But don't take my words. I was just repeating rumors and it is not meant to be scientific expert opinion.

The 15 minutes surgery turned 1 hour plus. The doctor talked to me the entire time on what he was doing while I closed my eyes trying to rest. I may not have the same opportunity to rest again so I just listened to the doctor with one ear while my mind wanders.

The doctor gave me 3 injections on the wrist to numb it and once I stop screaming "OW OW OW THAT'S PAINFUL!" to "Hmmm? What? You're stabbing me with a knife? I can't feel anything. Can you stab harder?" he then made a small incision on my wrist and removed the damaged tissue to allow the tendon to move without giving me pain. Once done, he stitched it all up and tada!

The numbness lasted until the next day which was great. But once the drug wore off, oh man... THE WRIST! THE WRIST! THE WRIST IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!

I was asked not to use my right hand so most of the time at home; I just sit with Kaisan and sleep. I can't carry my son but when push comes to shove, I just use my arm to lift him instead of using my hand. It was painful but bearable. I can't use the computer and my handphone. Being fully right handed is a bitch.

4 days after operation, I went back to the hospital. The doctor checked my wound and ugh... Blood stain all over the bandage. I was straining it when I was forced to use my hand. I cringed badly when I saw how gruesome it looked.

Because it was not healed properly and still swelling, the doctor did not remove the stitches and asked me to rest for another week. This time I followed his instruction... Like 30% of the time. I had to wear a special type of casing to prevent me from using my thumb and also, I cannot get my wound wet.

Today, the stitches all taken out and it still feels slightly painful. I was told it will take at least 6 weeks to 6 months for it to fully heal. Wow. That long? I can pop out another baby with that time alone.

So that's my update on my wrist surgery! Next, I will write about my niece's surgery.

Stay tune!

I'm tempted to say BITE ME but that's so 25 year old.

I have been radiating negative energies lately. God knows why. Even when I swear I'm perfectly happy in the inside, I still jolted some poor bastards with my electrifying negative current. So I was told. Many times. Like a millionth times a day.

"Why are so bloody snappy lately? My head hurts from all your snide remarks, woman"

"What did I do wrong? I just misplaced the baby for a second and you're already attacking me like a wild hog!" (I'm only KIDDING with this one. Never happen, MOM!)

"For God sake, Balqiz! Chill the F off! Just delete the App and download a new one. You do not need to throw the phone away just because your Facebook App crash"

"How the hell would I know? If you could just TELL ME that the fried noodle belongs to you, I wouldn't have eaten it. Jeez, woman. I'll buy a new pack for you now!"

"Mom, I am just A BABY. I cannot control the direction of my sudden barf!" (Actually I was PERFECTLY OKAY with this but everyone said I look like I was about to swallow my son whole when he accidentally spat formula on my only clean shirt)

Maybe it's my face. I have super serious face and I was told I have evil menacing glare that can scare a crow into doing a pirouette. If so, I'm sorry I was born with Maleficent the bitch's face.

Even when I'm smiling, I was told I look like I'm about to suck out people's soul and sell it to the devil.

Maybe it's the words I used. I tend to be very crisp with words when I'm tired, busy, too frazzle with so many things happening all at once, too many things on my mind, and when I'm just plain lazy.

Or maybe it's the way I talk. Most people tend to misinterpret what other people are saying just by the tonation used. Look, I do not have an interesting nor melodramatic tone like those of sopranos. I have a very monotonous and droning voice. Even when I'm excited, I sounded like I'm bored to death. When I scream "OH WOW OH GOD OH GEES!" it's like me commenting on the weather, "Oh it's raining. Great" and when I sing, I sound like a walrus being attack by a shark.

Maybe it's my body language. I was told I radiates and oozes confidence just by the way I sit and walk. It intimidates and at the same time scares people. When in fact, when I walk, 99% of the time I'm singing "What (what) In My Butt" song

And even when I'm dancing happily, I was told I look like I'm doing a creepy ritual dance for the dead.

Well, maybe without me knowing I AM indeed a big ball of negative energy walking and talking and it shows even when I THUNK I'm perfectly peachy.

Maybe because of all the grumblings I have going on in my head. Maybe because I tend to keep my displeasure over small matters to myself rather than voicing it out because it's so insignificant and pointless.

Maybe because of what has been going on lately what's with my wrist operation, my niece's operations, and work and assignments and all the people that irks my sensibilities.

Maybe because of all the angry tweets I tweeted lately in Twitter.

Or maybe I'm rubbing it from the people I was around these past few days. Maybe THEY were the one with all the negative vibes and I got the brunt of it because I absorb people's energy easily, be it positive or negative.

Maybe I used to many MAYBES here. Maybe I should just shut up and do my assignment. The due date is looming over my head and when it falls, it will be like a mountain heavy.


Short update

I just came back from a week long visitation to KL to give support to my sister's daughter's kidney operation (will blog further on that) and also finally took out my wrist stitches (I had an operation 2 weeks ago. Will blog about it also soon) and I just started work today and I've thousand of emails to catch up and I just remember my assignment is due next week Thursday and I haven't starter SHIT and my next subject's assignment will be out this Sunday (FCUK MY LIFE) and my house is a bloody mess (we left in a hurry -will write in details about it soon) and I have 3 new books plus a magazine that I MUST READ BECAUSE IT'S THE KEY TO MY SANITY and by the time you finish reading this, my brain just combusted and splattered bits and pieces of brain meat all over my monitor.

You are welcome.

GUEST POST: Just Passing Through...

Hi! Holla! And How ya'doin'?

You must be thinking how in the world The Mister (that's me by the way... her Husband...) ended up scribbling a short something in the Mrs's Blog? Don't worry, I didn't sneak into her Blogger or anything. The Mrs was the one who asked me to say a little something-something while she's currently recuperating from her mini-minor surgery to her wrist. Oh, don't worry, she'll be back sooner than you think with her colorful stories to entertain everyone before you can say Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Now what can I talk about? We'll I guess everybody has been wondering how have I been handling parenthood lately since I haven't blogged in a while. Truthfully all I can say is its definitely a first-time-father would NEVER have expected! I mean you can plan, blueprint, DNA map, sketch out a schematic and what-ever-nots all you want... but the bottom line is, most of the time you just shoot form the hip and hope the shot shoots straight and true! (FYI, this is how I'M handling parenthood, and so far I'm breezing through with flying colors! ...with a few microscopic bumps along the way...) In other words, taking from a popular ad, I'M LOVING IT!

The midnight feeding, the cleaning of bottles, nappy change, tantrums, bath time, the cleaning afterwards, putting on his clothes, going through half a dozen formula's, making his baby food, drying his clothes from the washer... I can go on and on and on, and for the unmarried man, this would sound like a freaking nightmare! But I promise you guys, you'll be whistling a different tune once you hold him (or her) for the very first time and whisper a short prayers in both his ears, looking into his small face and swear to The All Mighty you'll beat up anybody who hurts him to a steaming puddle of slush! ...hmm, dejavu...

Spending time with my son and watching him grow up, I now understand when parents say that sometimes they think babies, toddlers, children, kids... they just grow up too fast! It's been a whirlwind 8 months and watching the Little Mister (the Mrs calls me The Mister remember?) and time just flies by too fast and I (and the Mrs) still haven't had enough of our Little Dragon. Why Dragon you might ask? Well he was born in the Year of The Dragon with the element of Water! Which pretty much answers why he loves his bath time and anything related to water! Have you seen the picture of the Little Mister at the beach yet? I look forward everyday to what the Little Mister is going to show me, everything and anything, and wishing quietly that he wouldn't grow up too fast...

We'll I guess that enough of my thought for today, I purposely meant to waste a few minutes of your time just for the fun of sharing :-D

Nuf' Said. Laterz!

New Pet

"Ma, can I keep it? Please?"

"Sure, son. Go ahead. But it would eat your face at night."

How I Failed As A Mother

This is a password protected post. Email me for password.

Rookie Daddy and Mommy Mistake!!!!

I just don't know where to start. Part of me wanted to claw my face in despair. Another part of me just wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.


Internet, brace yourself for idiocy beyond infinity: My son is actually JUST TURNED 8 MONTHS.

Just last night I told my husband Kaisan will turn 9 months this week and we were like oh no wonder he's starting to shift his butt to the side whenever he crawls -he's learning to sit.

But today, my baby development app suddenly bleeps telling me "YOUR BABY IS 8 MONTHS OLD TODAY!" and I was like, huh? Is this thing broken or what? Kaisan is turning 9 not 8, idiot. Then I looked at the calendar and count and OOOOO MAAAAAAAAAI GAAAAAAWD HE IS TURNING 8 MONTHS! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER AM I? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW OLD MY SON IS!

I know it's not a big deal to most. I mean, it's just one month different right? Wrong. What about all the jabs he has been given all these while, huh? Wrongly calculated age means Kaisan has been receiving jabs that are meant for babies one month older than his actual age.

Be right back. I'm going to crawl underneath a rock and cry until Kaisan come and fetch me with a decent sandwich.

The OMG Moment of Parenthood

Remember I once said that Kaisan knows how to pull himself up into a standing position? Yes. Well, few nights ago he was standing while holding on a sofa and next thing we know, he leaned forward and STANDING ON HIS OWN UNASSISTED ERMAHGERD MY SON IS STANDING ON HIS OWN ALREADY FUCK YEAH I WAS SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF.

I hesitated at first to put this on Youtube because I like to remain anonymous (Pfft. Right now I bet there are more than a dozen people in the office who are reading my blog) but I decided to just go with it. So here's the short clip on what we managed to capture that night.

Why yes, that crazy lady screaming is totally NOT me. Check out her floral pants.

You totally should ask her for fashion advice.

The outdoorsy one

Clearly, he didn't get this love for outdoor from me.


Hello Internet, I am now officially a mother to a Godzilla baby.

See that? Yes.


There are four on that gum. FOUR. F. O. U. R. Growing side by side.

8 months and 6 teeth.

12 months and 60 million teeth?

I told my husband last night that I'm thinking of weaning Kaisan as early as NOW THIS VERY SECOND THIS VERY MOMENT WHEN HE'S ON MY CHEST, GNAWING ON MY BREAST THIS HURRRRRRTS SO BAD!

Husband said it's up to me even though I know he wanted me to keep going until Kaisan is 12 months and I agreed but that was before my sweet adorable munchkin turn into a ferocious cannibal.

I am clueless about weaning but based on what I've read on the Internet (world most reliable source of information even though people tend to exaggerate way too much *kofflikemekoff**) it seems like a painful ordeal for me and Kaisan, physically and emotionally.

I don't know whether I'm ready for that yet. The emotional part I mean.

Would I be strong enough to say no to my crying baby? And Kaisan have this really sad cry that he tends to use when he wanted to breastfeed at night. It's so sad and mournful that I. Just. Cannot.

Would I be able to fight the feeling of him not depending on me anymore? I heard the separation anxiety is worst than getting hit by a meteorite (so I heard)

Would I be diligent enough to use the breast pump which I hate so much because it makes me feel like a cow whenever I use it?

I don't know. What do you think?


Top of the world to all!

What a wonderful week this week has been. The weather is awesome (Rainy cold days is my kind of beautiful day), Kaisan has been sleeping well (Or the fact that my husband take the night duty to let me sleep more), surprisingly a lot of participants for my FIRST CONTEST GIVEAWAY and best of all, I managed to cook this week!

Three nights ago I made pasta with eggplants and tomatoes and it was superb! The photo does not do justice. If I want to produce good food photos I must start getting props and invest in good lightings. Man!!!

Then the next night, I made pizza. It was my first pizza in a long, long time. I made the dough thin crust without yeast because I do not how to use yeast [Insert pathetic hyena's laughter] and had to use ketchups in a packet from Mc Donald because I forgot we ran out of tomato paste [Insert sad hyena's cries] but it turned out tastier than ever! The husband inhaled his pizza in mere seconds and was eyeing my plate like a hungry wolverine. Oi!

I have some menus set in my mind to cook this weekend but alas, there are weddings and events to attend so more likely I will be stuffing my face with other people's cooking instead.

Have a fabulous Friday, y'all!

Welcome to Crazy Town: Population Me.

Last week when Kaisan was still having diarrhea (he's 100% cured already and I'm grateful no one can see me dancing naked with my breast towel swinging over my head when he stop all flu, cough, fever and lastly diarrhea few days ago. Woohoo!) I decided to bring him out to get some fresh air since he has been cooped up in the house for close to 3 weeks due to all the illness a baby gets when teething (Remember that single ladies. When you have a baby, teething is worst than waking up in the morning with a huge zit suddenly appear on your nose who introduce himself as Gandalf the Gray)

I brought him to local deli to have our lunch. We were having a good time together. He was eating his mash potatoes while I had my usual beef lasagna. Then halfway through, he showed me his poop face. Poop face is when he pressed his lips together and frowns and grunts. Son, you better pray your mom never take a photo of you with that look. Pray really, really hard.

Immediately I brought him to my car since the deli does not have a baby changing room and while struggling to hold a wriggly squirmy uncomfortable baby and a diaper bag and me trying to get the car keys from my pocket, I suddenly felt something warm and squishy on my blouse and lo behold! Kaisan's poop was all over me!


My mind went blank. Like, literally. There was nothing in my head except a loud screaming AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

I held him up farther away from me and continue to scream in my head for few more seconds.

I was, in the middle of a car park, far away from home, with a dirty smelly baby with poop all over himself and all over myself and once I stop screaming, I was like, "Where can I go and get a refund for this baby?" and another part of me went, "You idiot! This is not defect electronic goods that you can just ask for exchange! This is YOUR SON FOR FUCK SAKE"

Then I quickly open up my car and dumped everything in while still holding a smiling baby, happy to see that he just send an explosive nuclear waste on his mother and on himself. AY YAY YAY YAY YAY.

Turns out his diaper was not fastened properly so when he poops, it blasted everywhere! (I am notoriously known with my exaggeration) I peeled off his clothes, his diaper and his socks and threw it on the ground. By ground, I mean road. By road, I mean just few inches away from my car BECAUSE HOOOMAAAHHHGAAADDD ICKY DIRTY STINKY POOOOOP EVERRRYYYYWHEEREE!!!!

Then I took out his water bottle and washed his naked self BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO PASSES BY! They must be thinking, "Look at the poor homeless lady cleaning his son. TSK" GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Once done, I put his diaper on, THANKS TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I BROUGHT AN EXTRA ONESIE, put that on him, and fasten him on his car seat. Then, me. Hoooboy. There was poop on my arms up to my elbows, all over my front blouse, my jeans and IN MY HAIR HOW THE HELL DID IT GET THERE? I tried to wash myself down by using whatever water that was left in the bottle and quenched the need to strip myself naked.

I then picked up all his dirty clothes on the road and put it in a plastic bag and dumped it in the bonnet. Then we drove home in silence. It was a traumatic experience for me and an embarrassing one for my son.

We promised we will never talk of it ever again.

You know what? I always thought I would make an excellent example of a mother who is always level headed, calm and reasonable when face with crisis.

Well, so I thought.

P/s If you think you're one lucky monkey, go join my first giveaway contest HERE! Closing date is this Sunday 30th September!

Sweet merciful hobos! My ragamuffin is 8 months old already!

At this age, Kaisan is:

1. Very demanding. He would show extreme dissatisfaction when things don't get his way. Like when he's watching his Sesame Street on his iPad, NEVER EVER DISTURB HIM. It is like poking a sleeping dragon with a flaming triton. We started to limit his iPad brain-deadness-moment to 10 minutes a day so when we said, "ENOUGH, SON! TIME TO NAP/EAT/SMELL THE ROSES OUTSIDE" and switch off the iPad, he would throw his body on the ground, feet up in the air and waaaaaaaaaaaaaail. But it's only for few minutes and then his attention easily diverted to other things like his toys or books or my boobs.

This is the reason why we started to discipline him as early as 6-7 months old. I think by now, he's very familiar with the word NO, WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND, KAISAN STOP PULLING MAMA'S HAIR and the ever so commonly heard in our house, PLEASE TAKE YOUR MEDICINE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE MY GOD STAY STILL PLEASE.

2. Which bring us to the topic of him and his medicines! I can give a wild African lion its vitamin pills blindfolded but with Kaisan, I almost resorted to the idea of chaining him on the fridge with a metal clamps around his mouth JUST SO I CAN GIVE HIM HIS MEDICINES. As soon as he sees the syringe with medicines for his flu/fever/diarrhea the other day, he start to throw his hands up in the air and sing heeeeeeeellll nooooooooo!

3. Despite that, he is VERY lovable. He would hug me and put his head on the crook of my shoulders and kiss me on my lips (I BLAME HIS FATHER FOR LEADING A BAD EXAMPLE) and sucking on my chin as a form of affection. He smiles and grins when he see people that he recognize and lift both arms asking to be picked up. When I come back from work and he sees me, he would crawl excitedly towards me and that's when all wariness from all day working, gone. Poof. Like magic.

4. Very daring. Few times when he's in his crib, I caught him pulling himself up using the railing and almost topple outside the crib and nearly give me a heart attack then and there. Then he has this tendency to crawl to the end of my bed and throw himself down. For the record, his dad is always there to catch him. THANK GOD.

5. Very stingy with his words. The only time you can hear him called out "MAMA" is at night between 2am-4am, asking for me to breastfeed him. Other time, fat chance. Few times I caught him mumble "NENE" for milk but that could just be me imagining him saying it. To him his dad is always "EH"

4 more months and he'll be one year old. AH. MAH. GAH.

The kind of wisdom that parents should know about before having a baby

Me and my sister went to KL recently with the intention to shop until our wallets vomit slugs. We brought along the babies and a nanny and we were so excited to FINALLY. GET. THE. CHANCE. TO. BUY. NEW. CLOTHES. NO. MORE. SHABBY. OLD. SHIRTS. GOODBYE. MATERNITY. PANTS.

But oh how naive we were when it comes to traveling and shopping with babies.

We woke up at 8am. We fed the babies, gave them a bath, put on nice clothes on them and play a bit and ALL THAT TOOK 3 FREAKING HOURS BY GOD. Then the mothers took shower, get ready, make-up and all which TOOK ONLY 15 MINUTES OR LESS.

By the time we're ready to go for our so called BREAKFAST, it was already noon. We hailed a cab - reached our destination -went looking for a place to eat -oh wait a minute- Kaisan need to change diaper -detour to the nearest baby changing room - done? Okay, let's go have our brunch- oh wait a minute -Alina is fussing for milk - detour to the nearest nursing room and spend half an hour there -done? Okay, let's go have our FOOD BECAUSE I'M SO HUNGRY SINCE IT'S ALREADY 3PM WHERE DID THE TIME GO? By the time we finish eating, it was already 6PM and we need to go back to the hotel to put the cranky babies to sleep.

Mission to shop till we drop -accomplished. Well, not exactly. We dropped dead exhausted by evening. When we reached Miri, we brought nothing back except lots and lots of dirty clothes and extra stress wrinkles on our face.

Single ladies; enjoy your freedom to shop while you can. Once you have a baby, online shopping is there for a reason.

Drop the F-Bomb and let's get jiggy with surgery!

My tendonitis is back and it has been bugging me these past few weeks and since I have been very overly occupied with Kaisan's health, I forgo the idea of visiting my orthodontist.

Well, last night I decided I can't take it anymore because the pain is getting ridonkulous even when I try to unhook my bra (The lightning fast technique of unhooking a bra with one hand BACKWARD is worthy to be added in our resume, ladies! Men, you do not know what you're missing) I decided to just grit my teeth and get some advice from the doctor.

Turns out, the last time the orthodontist treated the pain which was via injection a thingie-medical-whatever-scientific-medical-name-poof-brain-burst-all-over-the-floor-name, it eliminated the pain but inflamed the tendon, making it... worst. Apparently the injection liquid-medical-thingie-I'm-vomitting-in-my-mouth-trying-to-remember-what's-the-name is a virus that is spreading in my blood now and slowly turning me into a vampire. That folks explains why the injection spot is white in color.

Not a true story.

And when people ask what is that glaring white spot on my wrist, making the lumpy bone pop out menacingly, I said it's just me being skinny now and all my bones are visible and shit (Said the woman who is overweight by 5kg).

So this Friday, I'll be going for the surgery to get it fix.

Surgery. Again.

Third time in 2 years.

I'm going to ask the doctor whether I can start a recovery party in my room after the surgery. You know, pop the bottle and shit?


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