Thoughts in my head
1. While walking from the car park to the office:
“They see me walking… they hatin’… because I swag like a nigga on patrolin’…”
Chamillionaire gonna sue me for butchering his song so badly.
2. While climbing the office’s staircase:
“This exercise is so worth it. When I reach level 3, for sure I lost 3kg!” Never happen.
3. While talking to my friends:
“I’m not weird. THEY ARE!” I am weird.
4. While jotting down notes in a meeting:
“I'm a little teapot. Short and stouts. Here is my handle. Here is my spout” And at the same time I doodle a teapot with fangs and hairy arms on my notebook.
5. While drinking my morning tea:
“I’m catwoman! See me pounce! Mrrooowwww!” I have no idea why…
6. While shopping online:
“THAT. IS. A. BEAUTIFUL. VASE. I. WANT. THAT. VASE” The vase was not on sale. It was part of the decoration for an online clothes boutique.
7. While watching Masterchef U.S:
“I can cook better than Chef Ramsey. Pfft. In fact, I AM CHEF RAMSEY!” No I’m not.
8. While driving:
“Everyone is too busy concentrating on the road to notice me singing out loud and using the steering wheel as a microphone” No they are not. They are staring at you, moron.
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