Hello Internet, I am now officially a mother to a Godzilla baby.

See that? Yes.


There are four on that gum. FOUR. F. O. U. R. Growing side by side.

8 months and 6 teeth.

12 months and 60 million teeth?

I told my husband last night that I'm thinking of weaning Kaisan as early as NOW THIS VERY SECOND THIS VERY MOMENT WHEN HE'S ON MY CHEST, GNAWING ON MY BREAST THIS HURRRRRRTS SO BAD!

Husband said it's up to me even though I know he wanted me to keep going until Kaisan is 12 months and I agreed but that was before my sweet adorable munchkin turn into a ferocious cannibal.

I am clueless about weaning but based on what I've read on the Internet (world most reliable source of information even though people tend to exaggerate way too much *kofflikemekoff**) it seems like a painful ordeal for me and Kaisan, physically and emotionally.

I don't know whether I'm ready for that yet. The emotional part I mean.

Would I be strong enough to say no to my crying baby? And Kaisan have this really sad cry that he tends to use when he wanted to breastfeed at night. It's so sad and mournful that I. Just. Cannot.

Would I be able to fight the feeling of him not depending on me anymore? I heard the separation anxiety is worst than getting hit by a meteorite (so I heard)

Would I be diligent enough to use the breast pump which I hate so much because it makes me feel like a cow whenever I use it?

I don't know. What do you think?


Top of the world to all!

What a wonderful week this week has been. The weather is awesome (Rainy cold days is my kind of beautiful day), Kaisan has been sleeping well (Or the fact that my husband take the night duty to let me sleep more), surprisingly a lot of participants for my FIRST CONTEST GIVEAWAY and best of all, I managed to cook this week!

Three nights ago I made pasta with eggplants and tomatoes and it was superb! The photo does not do justice. If I want to produce good food photos I must start getting props and invest in good lightings. Man!!!

Then the next night, I made pizza. It was my first pizza in a long, long time. I made the dough thin crust without yeast because I do not how to use yeast [Insert pathetic hyena's laughter] and had to use ketchups in a packet from Mc Donald because I forgot we ran out of tomato paste [Insert sad hyena's cries] but it turned out tastier than ever! The husband inhaled his pizza in mere seconds and was eyeing my plate like a hungry wolverine. Oi!

I have some menus set in my mind to cook this weekend but alas, there are weddings and events to attend so more likely I will be stuffing my face with other people's cooking instead.

Have a fabulous Friday, y'all!

Welcome to Crazy Town: Population Me.

Last week when Kaisan was still having diarrhea (he's 100% cured already and I'm grateful no one can see me dancing naked with my breast towel swinging over my head when he stop all flu, cough, fever and lastly diarrhea few days ago. Woohoo!) I decided to bring him out to get some fresh air since he has been cooped up in the house for close to 3 weeks due to all the illness a baby gets when teething (Remember that single ladies. When you have a baby, teething is worst than waking up in the morning with a huge zit suddenly appear on your nose who introduce himself as Gandalf the Gray)

I brought him to local deli to have our lunch. We were having a good time together. He was eating his mash potatoes while I had my usual beef lasagna. Then halfway through, he showed me his poop face. Poop face is when he pressed his lips together and frowns and grunts. Son, you better pray your mom never take a photo of you with that look. Pray really, really hard.

Immediately I brought him to my car since the deli does not have a baby changing room and while struggling to hold a wriggly squirmy uncomfortable baby and a diaper bag and me trying to get the car keys from my pocket, I suddenly felt something warm and squishy on my blouse and lo behold! Kaisan's poop was all over me!


My mind went blank. Like, literally. There was nothing in my head except a loud screaming AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

I held him up farther away from me and continue to scream in my head for few more seconds.

I was, in the middle of a car park, far away from home, with a dirty smelly baby with poop all over himself and all over myself and once I stop screaming, I was like, "Where can I go and get a refund for this baby?" and another part of me went, "You idiot! This is not defect electronic goods that you can just ask for exchange! This is YOUR SON FOR FUCK SAKE"

Then I quickly open up my car and dumped everything in while still holding a smiling baby, happy to see that he just send an explosive nuclear waste on his mother and on himself. AY YAY YAY YAY YAY.

Turns out his diaper was not fastened properly so when he poops, it blasted everywhere! (I am notoriously known with my exaggeration) I peeled off his clothes, his diaper and his socks and threw it on the ground. By ground, I mean road. By road, I mean just few inches away from my car BECAUSE HOOOMAAAHHHGAAADDD ICKY DIRTY STINKY POOOOOP EVERRRYYYYWHEEREE!!!!

Then I took out his water bottle and washed his naked self BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO PASSES BY! They must be thinking, "Look at the poor homeless lady cleaning his son. TSK" GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Once done, I put his diaper on, THANKS TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I BROUGHT AN EXTRA ONESIE, put that on him, and fasten him on his car seat. Then, me. Hoooboy. There was poop on my arms up to my elbows, all over my front blouse, my jeans and IN MY HAIR HOW THE HELL DID IT GET THERE? I tried to wash myself down by using whatever water that was left in the bottle and quenched the need to strip myself naked.

I then picked up all his dirty clothes on the road and put it in a plastic bag and dumped it in the bonnet. Then we drove home in silence. It was a traumatic experience for me and an embarrassing one for my son.

We promised we will never talk of it ever again.

You know what? I always thought I would make an excellent example of a mother who is always level headed, calm and reasonable when face with crisis.

Well, so I thought.

P/s If you think you're one lucky monkey, go join my first giveaway contest HERE! Closing date is this Sunday 30th September!

Sweet merciful hobos! My ragamuffin is 8 months old already!

At this age, Kaisan is:

1. Very demanding. He would show extreme dissatisfaction when things don't get his way. Like when he's watching his Sesame Street on his iPad, NEVER EVER DISTURB HIM. It is like poking a sleeping dragon with a flaming triton. We started to limit his iPad brain-deadness-moment to 10 minutes a day so when we said, "ENOUGH, SON! TIME TO NAP/EAT/SMELL THE ROSES OUTSIDE" and switch off the iPad, he would throw his body on the ground, feet up in the air and waaaaaaaaaaaaaail. But it's only for few minutes and then his attention easily diverted to other things like his toys or books or my boobs.

This is the reason why we started to discipline him as early as 6-7 months old. I think by now, he's very familiar with the word NO, WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND, KAISAN STOP PULLING MAMA'S HAIR and the ever so commonly heard in our house, PLEASE TAKE YOUR MEDICINE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE MY GOD STAY STILL PLEASE.

2. Which bring us to the topic of him and his medicines! I can give a wild African lion its vitamin pills blindfolded but with Kaisan, I almost resorted to the idea of chaining him on the fridge with a metal clamps around his mouth JUST SO I CAN GIVE HIM HIS MEDICINES. As soon as he sees the syringe with medicines for his flu/fever/diarrhea the other day, he start to throw his hands up in the air and sing heeeeeeeellll nooooooooo!

3. Despite that, he is VERY lovable. He would hug me and put his head on the crook of my shoulders and kiss me on my lips (I BLAME HIS FATHER FOR LEADING A BAD EXAMPLE) and sucking on my chin as a form of affection. He smiles and grins when he see people that he recognize and lift both arms asking to be picked up. When I come back from work and he sees me, he would crawl excitedly towards me and that's when all wariness from all day working, gone. Poof. Like magic.

4. Very daring. Few times when he's in his crib, I caught him pulling himself up using the railing and almost topple outside the crib and nearly give me a heart attack then and there. Then he has this tendency to crawl to the end of my bed and throw himself down. For the record, his dad is always there to catch him. THANK GOD.

5. Very stingy with his words. The only time you can hear him called out "MAMA" is at night between 2am-4am, asking for me to breastfeed him. Other time, fat chance. Few times I caught him mumble "NENE" for milk but that could just be me imagining him saying it. To him his dad is always "EH"

4 more months and he'll be one year old. AH. MAH. GAH.

The kind of wisdom that parents should know about before having a baby

Me and my sister went to KL recently with the intention to shop until our wallets vomit slugs. We brought along the babies and a nanny and we were so excited to FINALLY. GET. THE. CHANCE. TO. BUY. NEW. CLOTHES. NO. MORE. SHABBY. OLD. SHIRTS. GOODBYE. MATERNITY. PANTS.

But oh how naive we were when it comes to traveling and shopping with babies.

We woke up at 8am. We fed the babies, gave them a bath, put on nice clothes on them and play a bit and ALL THAT TOOK 3 FREAKING HOURS BY GOD. Then the mothers took shower, get ready, make-up and all which TOOK ONLY 15 MINUTES OR LESS.

By the time we're ready to go for our so called BREAKFAST, it was already noon. We hailed a cab - reached our destination -went looking for a place to eat -oh wait a minute- Kaisan need to change diaper -detour to the nearest baby changing room - done? Okay, let's go have our brunch- oh wait a minute -Alina is fussing for milk - detour to the nearest nursing room and spend half an hour there -done? Okay, let's go have our FOOD BECAUSE I'M SO HUNGRY SINCE IT'S ALREADY 3PM WHERE DID THE TIME GO? By the time we finish eating, it was already 6PM and we need to go back to the hotel to put the cranky babies to sleep.

Mission to shop till we drop -accomplished. Well, not exactly. We dropped dead exhausted by evening. When we reached Miri, we brought nothing back except lots and lots of dirty clothes and extra stress wrinkles on our face.

Single ladies; enjoy your freedom to shop while you can. Once you have a baby, online shopping is there for a reason.

Drop the F-Bomb and let's get jiggy with surgery!

My tendonitis is back and it has been bugging me these past few weeks and since I have been very overly occupied with Kaisan's health, I forgo the idea of visiting my orthodontist.

Well, last night I decided I can't take it anymore because the pain is getting ridonkulous even when I try to unhook my bra (The lightning fast technique of unhooking a bra with one hand BACKWARD is worthy to be added in our resume, ladies! Men, you do not know what you're missing) I decided to just grit my teeth and get some advice from the doctor.

Turns out, the last time the orthodontist treated the pain which was via injection a thingie-medical-whatever-scientific-medical-name-poof-brain-burst-all-over-the-floor-name, it eliminated the pain but inflamed the tendon, making it... worst. Apparently the injection liquid-medical-thingie-I'm-vomitting-in-my-mouth-trying-to-remember-what's-the-name is a virus that is spreading in my blood now and slowly turning me into a vampire. That folks explains why the injection spot is white in color.

Not a true story.

And when people ask what is that glaring white spot on my wrist, making the lumpy bone pop out menacingly, I said it's just me being skinny now and all my bones are visible and shit (Said the woman who is overweight by 5kg).

So this Friday, I'll be going for the surgery to get it fix.

Surgery. Again.

Third time in 2 years.

I'm going to ask the doctor whether I can start a recovery party in my room after the surgery. You know, pop the bottle and shit?

Syukur Alhamdulillah...

Much better now. Even the red dots have pack their bags and went looking for other hosts.

The most ridiculous way to express my love

By now I bet people are sick and tired of me writing nonstop about my son especially about his oh-so-normal-what's-the-big-deal fever (I'm not going to defend the damn fever so you can go ahead and call it normal, boring, turd, puke face, bin Laden, mutated slug). And guess what? Today I'm going to write about my son again! And his well-being again! Because I can. Again!

As of today, we can safely bid adieu to the damn fever. Kaisan is back to his old self and eating and drinking his bottle again. "Could this be the moment where we can celebrate? LET'S PARTY BUIH TONIGHT!!!!" I whispered to my husband but before we can take out the detergent, Kaisan grimly showed us the meanest most badass heat rash on his body.

Whoa there, son. Could you like give us a break? Like, can the rashes come next month or next year? We really like, tired and all you know.

Like, whatever, said the damn rash and stayed there glaring at us menacingly and angry.

The doctor said Kaisan could be allergic with the antibiotic that he took but my sister said, "I bet it's all the durians you ate the other night" OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOO. Crap. I think so too. Because Kaisan is breast feeding and durian is heaty, man... I should NOT be a mother.

The damn fake measles (as what the doctor called it) is getting worst today and seeing my son's face blotchy with red nasty dots just made me want to take a swim with sharks and piranhas out in the open sea.

Because of Kaisan's illness, me and my husband have been having sleepless night, exhaustion, and have not been eating properly for the past 2 weeks plus. All our attention and well being is devoted to taking care and looking after our son. That's where I realized how much I really, really love and appreciate my husband. I know how rare it is to have a husband who would go out of his way to make his wife's life easy and I must have done something good to deserve such good fate. My husband takes all the responsibilities of the household and taking care of Kaisan when I'm dead tired to do anything. At night, he would wake up more often than me to check up on our son so I can sleep more.

It's funny that most of our friends tend to ask us whether we're happy together. Like, huh? Why wouldn't we? Turns out it's our super grim facial expression that makes people wonder are we planning to murder each other in our sleeps. My dears, despite our serious face (mine especially), we are not contemplating your demise I know I'm tempting fate by declaring this out loud here but we are so happy. There are challenges here and there but my husband is always there, willing to sacrifice and do anything to support me, our marriage and our little family no matter what.

And so, today's post is not entirely about my son. It's my way of saying thank you and that I love you, Joe. In my humble opinion, you are the most awesomeness, coolest most caring and loving and bestest and sexy husband ever.

P/s We really SHOULD take an outdoor photography of us because God, this is ridiculous. We don't have a single photo together in bloody ages!

Let's not be pretentious, shall we?

"Erm... Mom? What are you doing?"

"Seriously? You REALLY want to do this?"

"MOOOOOOOOOM! Come on! This is so lame"

"Oh for crying out loud. Fine. Go ahead. Show the world my tits. You are so gonna grow old alone"

For future reference, this is not measles. Doctor said it's FAKE MEASLES. Meaning, there are a bunch of red spots going around human's skin, PRETENDING to be measles because these red spots are so pretentious my God. They are merely heat rash, a very lower level spots which are not as glamourous as measles and chicken pox.

What a relief.

Readers just love to talk about reading

Referring to this post, friends, family and readers asked;

Did you really read all those book all at once? Or finish one that starts with a new one?

I read one chapter or sometimes 3-4 pages only when time does not permit me to read more. So yes, I read 5 books all at once but one book at a different time, at a different location. By month end, I usually finish it all.

How can you remember the plot at where you last left it when you read so many books?

My father was Sulaiman Henry Philip McCoy . I didn’t inherit his extreme genetically enhance form of body hair nor the blue color or the build (I AM NOT A MONKEY) but I did get a tad bit of his excellent memory (I may or may not be making this up)

An avid blog reader would not find this remembering last plot smot a big deal (Excellent memory? Pfft. WE ARE MONKEYS! WE RULE THIS PLANET!) because we read/follow hundreds of blogs. We read 20-30 blogs a day and each blog is written by different blogger with different storyline and different family/friends/pets and yet, we remember and recognize the character written in each blog. Correct? Same goes with reading 5 books at 5 different times and at 5 different places all at the same time. No big a deal. Peanuts.

The Teething Drama -Weekend Special

I just wasted two minutes of my life trying to use an upside down mouse to navigate my Mac. I like to clarify here that I didn’t know it was upside down but who am I kidding? Yes, I DO like to challenge myself once in a while and using an upside down mouse is one thrilling adventure.

Anyway, just to give myself a short update on what has been going on…

If my life this week is a reality TV shows, I bet it is called “THIS IS THE EXACT REASON WHY SCIENTIST SHOULD STUDY ABOUT BABIES WHO CAN TURN THEIR PARENTS INTO FLESH EATING ZOMBIES” I agree it is a long title but Megan Fox will play my role so you gotta watch it.

Kaisan’s fever turned from bad to worst last night. His diarrhea didn’t help to make us do the cartwheel either. We even had to bring him to the hospital twice because his body temperature went from 37.5C to 38.5C.

He also had flu and coughs and still refused to be bottle-fed. Doctor advised us to try feeding his formula by spoon and yes it worked. He took it though was a slow process. I told myself it’s okay. At least there’s liquid down his throat. His cough was so bad that last night his voice was coarse. It's like he has been drinking gravel.

We slept at 3am last night. He was restless and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the thermometer I stuck underneath his armpit. I had to keep watch on his body tempreture in case it shoot up high again.

The doctor did say that if his temp were up to 38.5C again, I would have to shoot up a bullet up his ass. OK that sounds so wrong. But mothers out there know what I’m talking about. It’s the medicine that looks like a white bullet you put in a feverish child’s butthole.

Don’t look at me. The tasks were mutually and understandably agree to be taken by the husband. I am not going to shove anything up my son’s butthole however dire the circumstances are. Okay if push comes to shove, yes, yes, I will do it. Though I might do it with my eyes shut close and teeth grinding on a piece of metal.

Today after his afternoon nap, Kaisan seems to be back to his old smiling self. He quietly read his books and played with his toys and smiled at me when I cuddle him.

I sure pray the worst it over. Amin.

True Story.

We were in Singapore for 5 days and 2 days in JB and we came home with:

1. 3 books for myself
2. 3 books for Kaisan
3. 1 book for husband
4. 1 Cookie Monster plushy toy for Kaisan
5. 1 wrist watch for husband
6. 1 T-shirt for me from F21
7. 1 lounging pants for me from Cotton On
8. 3 souvenir magnets for friends and family

And best of all, we brought along a camera that we didn’t use at all. All photos taken during the vacation that I parked in Instagram were all from my iPhone. And by all, I mean, oh maybe 10 photos or less.

Was supposed to go to Singapore Zoo and the bird park but it was raining the whole week so blah lah.

So we went to Marina Bay Sands to watch...

THE HARRY POTTER WORLD EXHIBITION!!!!! (Dolores Umbridge is a pink skank)

No photos were allowed to be taken inside boohoo crummy.

The infamous Monster who captured my son's heart.

Then we went to JB.

And me and my bestie in JPO! Pretty nice place for window shopping but since it's out in the open sun, phew! Hot! We went to Legoland but since it was still not open for public, I told Aveen, we'll come back again next year. Can't wait!

So that's about it.

Gone were the days where I would take every single photo at every single place at every single minute for memory sake. Well, I DID took a photo of the bird shit on my arm the day I was at Orchard Road…

My photography days are obviously over. Oh hello handy and useful iPhone, you screwed all cameras big time.

It's all about the money

Something for us to think about.

Mr. XX just bought himself a new car. It was a foreign car that cost RM150k. Mr. XX loves to rub it on Mr. YY who was driving a local car, which he has been using for the past 5 years.

Mr. YY was very content and happy with his well-maintained despite old car but Mr. XX was being a nuisance ass wipe, kept making fun of Mr. YY’s car until one day, Mr. YY got fed up and asked Mr. XX, “How much is your new car again?”

“It’s RM150k!” boasted Mr. XX.

“Wow. You must have a lot of money to pay that much for a car,” said Mr. YY.

“I took out a bank loan. I’m paying RM2k for the monthly installment” answered Mr. XX.

“So you owe the bank RM150k?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Plus interest?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So you are paying RM2k for 5-6 years for a car?”

“Yeah, SO WHAT? I can afford it!”

“So, that means I’m wealthier than you. I don’t owe the bank at all for my car. I finished paying the car years ago. If anything happen to me, I don’t have to worry about owing the bank. In fact, I can sell my car to help me out. Even if it can only bring me in RM2k, it’s still money. But what about YOU?”

And Mr. XX sheepishly nodded and never talked about his car anymore.

Sanity is now below the normal level.

This post-vacation mood at home is really depressing. Add with a super duper cranky baby who is having fever, diarrhea and flu, the atmosphere at home is like a wet dirty dark cave with bats that screams earth shattering, “HOLY GUANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” before they eat your face. I choose to sleep as early as 8pm just to run away from the heavy gloomy feeling at home.

My fever broke the night after we reached Miri but Kaisan only get his fever on Tuesday. He has been OH MY GRACIOUS so cranky throughout our trip in Singapore and Johor Bahru that I was contemplating on the best way to auction him on Ebay without getting arrested.

At first I thought he was just uncomfortable with the changes of environment or unhappy because we messed up his nap schedule. I told myself that he’ll be back to his cheery self when we’re back in Miri.

But after 2 days at home, he still is a baby banshee, screaming and crying and refused to take his bottles. Oh it is sooooooo stressful! He refused his formula in the bottle and only wanted to be breastfed. I thought he developed a new dislike towards his formula and dreading the fact that we have to go on a crazy rollercoaster ride finding him a new formula again like before.


Since Kaisan is also having really bad diarrhea, we had to find any means whatsoever to get water down his throat. We even tried to feed him milk via syringe! That didn’t work much because he THREW A HUMONGUOUS TANTRUM THAT SHOOK THE WORLD AND AWAKEN THE MIGHTY KRAKEN.

So, no water. Food, no problem. He loves his porridge that I made and from there at least I know he’s not starving. As for water, I just breastfeed him as much as I can and occasionally I give him ice Popsicle that I made with just water and let him suck on it. He enjoys it and for once, he’s quiet and for me, it’s a big relieve because at least there’s water in his body.

Then last night, while trying to feed him his medicines, guess what? I FOUND TWO TOOTH PEEKING OUT FROM HIS UPPER GUM! No wonder he has been a ferocious man-eating bear. He’s teething! And, wait. TWO? I am so going to have a pair of bleeding nipples…

That pretty much explains why he refuses his bottles. Maybe the tits are giving his gum pain. I don’t know. That’s just my rough guess. I’m willing to take any explanation right now because I’m super exhausted. Lack of sleep. Helpless in trying to make it easy for Kaisan. Tired. Bla. Bla. Bla. Wait. This is not about me.

So anyway... He lost a lot of weight and it breaks my heart to see him whimpering for me whenever I come home. My poor baby… I don't like it that he’s sick but I love that he’s super clingy with me, wanting to be hugged and cuddled all the time. I miss my giggly, sunny son.

Get well, my sweet. Kaisan’s Tooth, GROW FASTER AND STOP GIVING MY SON PAIN.

Back from a week long vacation...

The inhabitants of Casa D’ Balqiz is settling back into their regular post-traveling routine. The mother is down with fever. The son is grumpy with stomach flu and the father is super exhausted taking care of 2 patients.

Posting will resume tomorrow or the day after or whenever or WHATEVER but in the mean time, I’m going to wallow in our post-travel blues. Oh. Boo. Hoo. Us.


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