Hate when I don't update? Well, join the fucking club

The last trip really saps my energy. This will be the last. No more traveling for me. Plus, I’m broke. I’ll be eating pebbles from now on. Please, if you see me, don’t stare *Do the crazy eyes*

And since somewhere in my mother’s side of the family married a real honest to goodness sloth, the genetic resides me in. BUT OF COURSE. No surprise there. So as a normal half sloth, a quarter human and another quarter peanut, I hereby attached a story I wrote on the plane. Just to keep this blog alive and kicking and do the Russian dance. No grammatical check, no photo, no nutty funny ha-ha remarks, no whatever God! Why am I TAKING SO FUCKING LONG TO TYPE ALL THESE LINES?

So here goes nothing…


On a flight back to Miri, I met a real life DICKHEAD.

I was boarding when I asked a male flight attendance to help me carry my luggage to the overhead compartment. He gave me a look which said, “You gotta be kidding me”. I glared at him and handed him my luggage. He sighed and said, “Can we do this together?” Like what the fuck? Are you a man or are you a pussy? Fine, I helped him heave my luggage up and to my despair, though my luggage was not heavy (less than 5kg –my butt cheek is heavier than that!) it was too bulky to fit in the compartment.

Again he gave me his I-didn’t-get-laid-last-night-that’s-why-I’m-such-a-vagina-today look and said I have to put it underneath the seat in front of me. Whatever, bitch. So there I was trying my best to shove the luggage underneath the seat but as I said, it was too bulky. I then decided to take some things out and put it on my lap (books, not bras and panties for your delicate information) and shoved the luggage again underneath the seat and it fits in nicely.

Before the plane take off, one of the senior flight attendance spotted my luggage and asked me why I didn’t put it in the overhead compartment. First of all, I was exhausted. I just had a two long, grueling days attending a course that exerted all my brain cells to the fullest. And then I had to catch the earliest flight as possible so I can go straight to the office to take care of some urgent work. My rational self wanted to say, “It’s my fault. My luggage is too bulky. Just like your eyes. My, how toady you look today, sir” but as I said, I was tired so my demon self snarled and pointed to the dickhead flight attendance.

Dickhead then went all whiny. He said, “HER (oh me oh my, save the accusation for another day will ya!) luggage is TOO BULKY so I yetta yetta yetta under her seat bla bla bla (I couldn’t be bothered to listen more so at this time I already switched on my iPod)”

The senior, obviously didn’t believe Sir Dickhead Lancelot, asked for my luggage and I handed it to him. Dickhead complained, “YOU’LL SEE. IT’S TOO BULKY IT WON’T FIT IN!” and the senior flight attendance single handedly raised it to the overhead compartment and… IT FITS IN NICELY! BOOYAH DICKFACE!

The look on dickhead’s face was enough to make me do a little triumph jig but I just smile demurely.

If only he know I took out some stuff out of my luggage…


P/s Dickhead avoided me the whole 2 hours and a half journey. FIST BUMP!



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