Can I have hand grenades with my fries please? (Baby Making Part 30)

1. I gained another 2kg within two weeks. Doctor assured me it’s just water weight (water retention) therefore making me an official Asia first female humpback whale. Please refrain from feeding me 2000kg of plankton, thank you very much.

2. My temper is getting shorter and shorter by the day. Simple innocent question like, “When are you going to deliver?” tend to make me snarl. I WILL DELIVER WHEN I DELIVER OKAY!

3. Sleeping is an agony. I have a cemented beach ball as a belly. No sleeping position is comfortable anymore. My last option is to hang upside down on the ceiling like a bat.

4. Not only my feet are a gigantic webbed duck feet, it is also getting more painful by the day. Not even the Mister’s comfy sandal can prevent me from wincing badly whenever I walk. To add life’s greatest joy, my knees are giving me problems too. Yes, yes. It’s the weight I’m carrying that is making all these beautiful agonies, an agony. I get it.

5. I’m getting more and more paranoid over the upcoming labor pain. Everybody has been telling me that OH IT’S GOING TO BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PAINFUL YOU WILL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE, I swear I feel like slicing my wrists now.

6. During a recent checkup, my doctor said something about my placenta wall hardening probably due to infection and that I shouldn’t worry at all. Dear Doctor, DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING WITH? OF COURSE I WORRY. Because he refused to elaborate more, I spend most of my sleepless night Googling and get NOTHING. Nothing means good right? ROOOOOOOOOIITTTEEE?! [Press the BUY button to purchase hand grenades on eBay]

7. What is this 24/7 tingling and numbness feeling in my left hand? Oh. Hi, Carpal-Screw-You-Tunnel Syndrome. This is one reason why I seldom take photos anymore. I almost drop my camera the other day due to sudden electric-like-jolt pain that ran through my arm when I lifted the heavy ass camera. Next month, this new talent will evolve into electrocuting people with just a touch of my skin. Stay tune!


Anonymous said...

You sound VERY pregnant! LOL!

Have you tried putting up your feet on a stool whenever you sit? Towards the end of my pregnancy I find myself in (almost) similar situation of yours. Found this helpful even though for a short period of time.

You can also try soaking your feet in hot water (add some salt). Try make circular movement with your feet/hands/arms whenever you can.

You don't need to be scared of labour pain. It is what it is. It's something that (almost) everyone will have to go through.

Focusing on the fact that at the end of it all you'll have a baby to call your own, to cuddle, to spoil, to feed, to tease and to love will get you through labour, pain or no pain, with or without pain relief :)

Zhu xxx

Balqiz said...

Zhu, I stacked 2 A4 boxes underneath my office desk as so I can prop my feet up like a boss hahahaha and in the evening, I soaked my feet with warm water + detol. It feels good for a while but the next day the cycle continues.

I guess I just have to suck it up for another 5-6 weeks :-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, you've only 5-6 weeks left? You've done really well :)))) Do enjoy every single day like it's your last day of being pregnant ok. You'll miss the feeling (especially when baby is up crying non stop for no apparent reason LOL!)

p/s: not sure if you got my email but am selling some baby stuff for less than retail if you're interested ;P

Zhu xxx


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