I’ve encountered TOO MANY good girls who badly want to be BAD. Like, really, really B-A-A-A-A-D. I don’t know since when bad girl image become so fashionable that many good girls I know suddenly adopt habits like smoking, body piercing, tattoos, drinking and shamelessly flaunt it around when in fact it was just yesterday they were praying diligently, wearing ‘tudung’ (hijab), and have a angelic image with halo beaming on top of their head.

TOO MANY times I hear them bragging, “Holy fuck I haven’t had my daily dosage of nicotine!” when in fact, they just started to smoke like 5 minutes ago.

TOO MANY times I see them waving drunkenly a can of beer in their Facebook profile photo while another hand showing their middle finger when in fact, they only drink ONE CAN throughout the whole night.

TOO MANY times I witness a sudden transformation from a sweet, innocent, cherubic demure girly-girl-girl face to gaudy makeup wearer, pouting like a duck and pressing her boobs together pose and post it e-ve-ry-day e-ve-ry-hour in Facebook with captions such as "I'm so ugly today" -'Natch, fishing for compliments and her loyal subjects will shower her with "No you're not!  How can you say that! Look at you! You're hot! You're so sexy! You're alluring!" (Oh Yawn) 

TOO MANY times I listen to them talking about how they beat the shit out of another person who bitch mouth them when in fact; they only do the bashing in their Facebook wall.

I am so impressed [insert bland face]

I don’t know what’s all the hype to portray a bad girl image. I mean, when public view you as bad, you're in the running for the title Bitch of the Year. I guess being called a  bitch something to be proud of. But won't that just ruin your image? Won't it make your life harder especially when you want to make a good impression on someone i.e. your teacher, your boss, your colleagues or your future in laws? I’m caught dumbfuck when it comes to this mystery. Often I asked them why, what and how but often enough these girls deny that they were ever a good girl in the first place and always claim they are wild in the inside, just waiting for their time to show the evil hidden within.

Oh reaaalllllyyy...? Or it's because BAD GIRL gets more attention than a mousy meekly image? NATCH.

And what’s funny is that these wannabes get annoyed easily if you say they are actually good and nice girls. I once made this mistake and immediately was told off, “Oh you think I’m good huh? Well did you know I once did this and that and I got this and that and yetta yetta yetta bla bla bla bla?” and on and on and so forth she went to tell me what makes her so bad.

Shame on me. How could I E-VER think of these wannabes as a bunch of good girls? [Slap head]

For a person who unfairly labeled by public as a BAD GIRL without doing much except scowling like a PMS Oompa Loompa since born, I always try very hard to banish the label because it makes my life a living hell. If there's a murder in town and I was at home reading AND WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE MURDER AREA, oh you can bet your very soul the first person people suspect would be ME. It's just me. I am hated, misunderstood, presumably evil and soulless, bitchy and downright B-A-D. Bla. Bla. Bla. Bla. Boring. Sometimes I think I almost believe I am what these people assume I am. But then again, would a 'presumably bad girl' prefer to stay home 24/7, read 10 books a week, cook, clean and the only time she ever socialize is dinner out with her girlfriends at 6:30pm and go back home at 8pm? The only drug I ever touch was the one my doctors prescribed (WHICH IS PERFECTLY LEGAL IN CASE YOU'RE GOING TO JUMP AND POINT FINGERS AGAIN)? And would you believe me that I never touch a cigarette in my whole life? That if I do go out clubbing/partying it would be once or twice in 2-3 years? And even with that MANY times I go out, I am always labeled as the wild party girl?

Yeah, here me go again. Justifying something that obviously NO ONE CARES BECAUSE ASSUMING I'M Annie Wilkes's REINCARNATION IS MUCH MORE ACCEPTABLE TO THESE MINDLESS SOCIETIES I AM IN?Yes. Yes. I am the wicked witch of Sarawak who scowl all day.

I am in my third trimester. My hormones is just CRAAAAAZY CRANKY. And yes, I just deviate my original story from something else entirely. Welcome to the world of an ADHD/ADD mind. Thank you for reading. Please leave your judgment at my feet. You are bless.


sya_zazoo said...

i've been reading ur blog since 3-4 years ago. You are a good girl actually..i know u once wore hijab for a while.actually by wearing hijab can slowly erase all those bad perceptions about works least for me la..haha
i know you're a good person..& will always be better each day InsyaAllah. (owh..pls dont vomit..;))

Balqiz said...

*sniff* terharu... Fanks!


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