I am officially 99% Flame and 1% Sanity

If you follow me in Twitter, you’d notice lately I’ve been tweeting rather angrily (Angrily? I don’t give a damn if that word does not sound right and proper for the grammar police coz as I said over and over again, my grammar can cry and commit suicide for all I care coz I butchered it sadistically)

Two days ago, I lashed out at a friend’s tweet about how nobody reads blog anymore after I tweeted asking for my followers to recommend me good blogs to read. Usually, I would keep my mouth shut when I disagree as not to ignite negative response. But at that moment in time, his lighthearted statement was like a personal insult to me. As an avid reader, I hate it when people poke fun at my bluestocking hobby. I had enough people throwing insult at me for preferring to spend time indoor reading than going out clubbing, partying and such. I hate it when they laugh at the choices of books I read. So when he said nobody reads blogs anymore, it was the last straw. I read books, yes but I read blogs too as it is another form of reading material. I know what he said was harmless but enough is enough. I am not going to sit and let people slander my feelings in public like so. I lashed out. He lashed back. I questioned his intelligence. He questioned my motive. And on and on it went. Some joined in to support him and I lashed out at them too. Them interrupting and quipping brainlessly just fueled my anger. Yes, you can give me your opinion but if your opinion is base on your own ignorant assumption, you are indeed a moron. How do you expect a statement such as “Nobody blogs anymore coz it’s easier to Twitter”. So I asked, if indeed blogging is so outdated, then how in the whole wide world famous and successful bloggers can earn thousand of income in a month UNTIL NOW? Heck, if you have no knowledge on something, shut the hell up. No one wants to hear your stupid baseless theories. “Books are better reading material and it will always stay that way”. Obviously you never heard of eBooks and Kindle? Puh-lez. Get out of your 100 year old turtle shell and smell the technologies evolving every second of the day.

Every day there is always something that ticks me off. Even innocent remarks like, “You are such a small person to carry such a big tummy” made me hissed, “That is because your view is obstructed by that garbage truck you called nose! That’s why!”

I am indeed like a handgrenade ready to explode at anybody who dare to pull my trigger. Friends and family said it’s just the pregnancy hormones and that I should calm the *BLEEP* down coz it’ll effect the baby. I don't know whether it's the hormones (never been pregnant before so how would I know?) or it's just me but I know for sure I'm like Hades now walking around casually throwing spitfire at people. I can even get angry at cute kittens. Reason: For playing with my legs as if God created my legs for the purpose of being their chew toy and scratching post.

When I get angry, people question me why. And when I explain, they said it’s just a small matter and why would I make a big deal out of it. Small to them but it’s gigantic to me.

What they don’t know is that when I burst out, that is when I’ve reach my limit. Small irritating, stressful things piles up day by day, months by months and years and then… KABOOOOOOM! It’s like a volcano erupting. It’s one of my worst traits, I admit –piling up my issues silently. I thought I fixed it already and I was okay for a while but turns out I am still human and I went back to my evil self.

Le sigh… I’m trying to listen to a lot of calming songs to reduce my anger level. At night, I recite Yasin, surah Mariam, surah Lukman and even sing Asmaul Husna and Asmaul Anbia. May this anger subside soon before I combust into flame. Amin.



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