A dream that reveals my true self

People always tell me that dreams during pregnancy are more vivid and more radical than ever. You don’t say?

I am one of those people who never ever NOT dream when I sleep. Even when I nap for 10 minutes, I have dreams and I usually can remember it as soon as I wake up.

But during this pregnancy, my dreams are so REAL that there was once I dreamt I was being chased by a get this –poisonous butterfly (!!!!) and I woke up with my heart beating like crazy and sweating like as if I did ran like a mad buffalo a second ago.

Sexual dreams? Oh don’t get me started on that! Would you believe me that I had multiple orgasms WHILE I SLEEP AND DREAM? Phew. The endorphin pumping in one dream alone is enough to feed entire sex deprived men and women in this world. If I can write the steamy scenes I dreamt, man, I can be an instant erotica novel writer.

Last night’s dream was so bizarre, the image still plague me till now.

Put on your seat belt and get ready to be shaken:

I was in an unfamiliar house with a bunch of kids. Some were my siblings but they were so young. Like 7 years old! It was dark and gloomy and I think it was around 7pm. We were at the first floor of the house, in a room cramped from floor to ceiling with boxes, clothes and furniture. At a corner of the room, there was a rocking chair and it was rocking softly. I was curious and approached it gingerly. To my utter disbelief, it was an old man sitting on the chair and… he was dead. It was a bloody corpse!

Before I could do anything, suddenly the corpse grabbed my arm and said, “I’m not dead” and a screaming old lady barged in the room crying “LEAVE MY FATHER ALONE!” while tugging my other arm. Then the ‘corpse’ shushed his hysterical daughter and said, “Calm, child. It’s okay. She’s here just to listen to my story” and he released my arm and asked me to sit.

He started to tell me (and the kids and siblings around me) that he had died many, many years ago but his daughter wouldn’t let go of him so she kept him in that house, preserved and all. Though his soul has left his body, occasionally his soul would return back to plead to his daughter to release him and bury his body but his daughter stubbornly refused.

I looked at his daughter (she was as old as my grandmother) and she was staring at me full of hatred. I asked her to whom is she mad at but she didn’t answer me. Instead she paced the room and kept looking at me like as if she wants to put me on fire.

Then the old man continued to talk. He gave me many lessons in life and advices. I can’t remember all but one of it is that hatred is the most evil kind of emotions a person can possess and he asked me do I hate anybody. I said no. And that I forgive those who wronged me coz somewhere or another, I must be the cause of what had happened. He said, “No, I think there’s another person whom you harbor so much hatred” and his eyes darted to his daughter. To my surprise, his daughter’s feature changed to someone I REALLY know and I screamed, “YOU! IT’S YOU ALL ALONG! YOU DID THIS TO YOUR OWN FATHER? HOW COULD YOU?” and she screamed back saying I don’t know what I’m talking about. I pushed her and ran out of the room. Only then I realized I was in whose house. And that made me even angrier for being so stupid. Why I didn’t realized this before?

Then I found myself running out of the house and all of a sudden the old man appeared in front of me. He said, “Forgive her. Please. It’ll be better for you and for her. Do it for me”

I fell on my knees and cried so hard. I can feel my anger slowly trickling out of my body and I repeatedly say, “I forgive you” and I woke up.

I checked the time and it was 4:30am. I recited some Quran verses and wondered… Whoa… I didn’t know I was harboring such anger towards at my ex’s mother… And seconds later, the Mister pulled me back to bed and I went back to sleep feeling at peace in my husband’s arm.

I read somewhere that dreams are ways for us to resolve some issues and I think I resolved mine last night. I do forgive her. Even though she thinks she never did me wrong but its okay. I cleanse myself from all hatred. Old man, whoever you are, thank you. You look like Osama Bin Laden actually… hihihi!


Nadia said...

goosebumps the moment i reached 'it was a bloody corpse!'


i think the dead talking scares me more than any point of the story.

Balqiz said...

That dream can definately be made into a movie and I'll be RICH and able to buy my Rush (-____-)'


Copyright © Balqiz 2012 | All rights reserved | Blog Design by Krafty Palette.