Not That Balqiz

5 a.m. -Woken up by intense period cramp. Instead of taking painkiller as I usually do, I decided to try to weather it off BY MY SHEER STRONG SUPERPOWER SELF. Because of that, I was on the floor at the living room, rolling and doing the shuffle while groaning in pain. FUCK YOU CRAMP! WHY DON’T YOU COME AND BLEED NOW INSTEAD OF MURDERING ME SLOWLY LIKE THIS.

6 a.m. –Pain subside and I crawled back to bed, coughing badly still (I had been coughing for the past 2 weeks) but less than 15 minutes, I got up and getting ready to go to work.

8 a.m. –Having breakfast with 2 colleagues. Mien is pregnant so I asked her how she first knew she’s pregnant. She said she has been having flu for close to a month long. Even strong medicines didn't cure her flu. She suspected something is up so she went to see a doctor and after a blood check up, positive.

10 a.m.-My boobs are KILLING ME. It throbs and sore and tight and I blamed PMS for it. But what Mien said stays at the back of my head. I just found out last night that I missed my period by 5 days. A week ago I took a home pregnancy test and it showed negative. But my period is almost seldom late. 2 months ago, my period was late 3 days so I pushed aside the thought of being pregnant. I still think I’m going to have my period since I have been having period-like cramps for a week plus.

11 a.m. –I told my colleague my symptoms. She urged me to go check. I balked at the idea. Every month for the past 6 months, it has been negative all the time. I’m sick and tired of the frustration and I swear, I was giving up on trying conceiving. Melissa said, “You have nothing to lose. If it’s negative, then its negative” I inhaled deeply and decided to go check.

12 p.m. –I’m at home and with me, 2 pregnancy test kit I bought at a pharmacy nearby. I steel myself for disappointment but at the same time praying hard it will be positive. I picture the test kit shows the word PREGNANT and I peed. Not wanting to see the result yet, I left it on the sink and went to the kitchen to have my lunch.

12:05 p.m.-My curiosity gets the best of me. I peek and the word PREGNANT was flashing vividly. NO WAY! NO WAAAAAAAY! NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I took another test kit and try again. This time, SHIT I DON’T HAVE ANYMORE PEE TO PISS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! But I managed to produce a bit. Test it and DOUBLE LINES!!! DOUBLE LINES PEOPLE!!!

I’M PREGNANT!!!




...To be continued.