Dear Diary Moments ~ It's all about the $$$$

Controlling my excessive expenditure turns out to be one of the most difficult, most OMFG-WON’T-YOU-KILL-ME-NOW-I-CAN’T-STAND-THE-TORTURE of seeing so many things I want to buy b-b-b-but… It’s all about self-control.

Last night, I went to my favorite bookshop to treat myself with a nice book to read. BLOODY HELL. It took a Herculean effort to walk away with only one book purchased. YES! ONE BOOK! BETTER BELIEVE IT, ME! ONE BOOK!!!! And I paid CASH! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT BOOKS WITH CASH MONEY? AND WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT ONLY ONE BOOK!? The momentous event should be jotted down as one of the most unforgettable moments in the history of mankind.

Even though there were at least 5 books that I DIE-DIE wanted to grab and swipe my card till it bleed, I didn’t. But it was hard. So hard to walk away and said, “Next month okay, books? I’ll get one of you next month. I’m sorry… I can’t take all of you at one time… I just… Can’t…” and sob in my dainty handkerchief and run oh-so-pathetically by the sea-shore. Drama.

Just for the record, every month I’ll buy myself something nice (perfume, books, accessories, plane tickets etc) and I allocated RM1000 for these purchases. My limit is always at that amount. Sometimes I tip the scale a little bit but it’s still manageable and I still pay ALL my credit by month end. I also set aside RM200 for emergency cases for my car.

Then last year, the Mister said something about me and my expenditure. It may not mean anything much to other people but it was like a lightning bolt just strike me. Nobody ever question or admonish about my expenditure before this because, well, I earn my own money and so I spend it as how I see fit right? And besides, who dare to? *Insert evil laughter*

But what the Mister said made me think and realized like, wow. I spend a lot.

That was not the only thing he said that made me … erm … how do I put this nicely? Made me feel like the biggest anus in this universe. There. Figuratively put.

You see, sometimes the Mister said things that literally shake my world. He made me THINK instead of making me fly into bouts of nasty temper. He doesn’t scold. He doesn’t nag. He doesn’t scream or make demands. But when he wants to make a point, one statement is enough to make me whimper like a drench puppy rescued from a sewer.

One time, I asked him is it okay for me to go out with some girlfriends at a club somewhere in town (i.e. a disco, for those Neanderthals)

He said, “Ok. Just remember to take care of yourself and that wherever you go, whatever you do, you are representing ME. So don’t disappoint me”

Holly Ouch…! That’s enough to make my self-esteem shrink to the size of a gnat’s bellybutton! I mean, it’s a damn big responsibility to carry. Whatever I do, it reflects him. Noooo!!!!!

I’m 29 years old and I swear I peed a little in my pants when he said that.

In the end, I called up my friends and changed venue and we had a blast hanging out at Starbucks.

Don’t get me wrong. The Mister is not a stick in a mud. In fact, we have lots of fun together. Of all the guys I went out with, he’s the only one that can make me burst out laughing. Like, really. Men I dated before … well… they don’t get my joke nor do I think their fart, falling off their butt or poking fun at other people’s expenses FUNNY.

The Mister just take his responsibilities as a husband rather seriously coz he knows if he doesn’t control me, who else would? I’m wild. Everybody knows that. Not even my mom dares to say anything when I set my mind to do something. But with the Mister in my life, he has this calming effect on me.

Well, I rambled on way to much on a Monday afternoon. Time to get a life out of the Internet.

Catch y’all later.




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