The... Oh Whatever. I'm Whining Again. Bite Me (Baby Making Part 36)

The voice in my head keep telling me to write a letter to my baby for remembrance sake but I know one day when he grow up and read my letter to him, he’s going to roll his eyes and mutter, “Mom… you’re WHINING in your letter to me again. Don’t you have anything NICE to say to me aside from talking about your pain, pain, pain of carrying me for 9 months?”

So I came up with this:

Dear Baby Boy in My Belly,

Hi. How are you? I am fine, thank you.

When are you coming out? I know there’s about 2 weeks plus minus till you due date but I’m already a waddling Mashmallow man and it’s not a pretty sight. 

So, erm, yeah. Chat with you later!

Love, Your Mom, the host of the belly you’re living and growing in.

Tada! 

Simple. Nice. And straight to the point.

So anyway, I started my maternity leave already. Part of me was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TOO EARLY, MORON! STAY AND WORK AND SAVE YOUR LEAVE AND EARN MORE MONEY AND BE MORE EFFICIENT AND ACTIVE AND BESIDES, THE COMPANY WILL DIE, YES DIE IF YOU DON’T COME TO WORK!

But there’s another part of me whispering softly; YOU HARDLY CAN WALK ANYMORE, YOUR FINGERS ARE ALL SWOLLEN AND TOO PAINFUL TO DO ANYTHING, YOUR BRAXTON HICKS COME SO OFTEN IT FREAKS EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE AND NONE OF YOUR COLLEAGUES ARE TRAIN MIDWIVES AND WORST- ALL YOUR CLOTHES ARE EITHER FADED, WORN OUT OR JUST DON’T FIT YOU ANYMORE! WHAT TO WEAR TO WORK? TOWEL?

After debating with both logics for few days, I decided to listen to the latter and submitted my early maternity leave application. Sucks that my body refuse to cooperate with my brain to still wants to work but as my doctor said, “You are just harming yourself in every kind of ways by pushing beyond your limit”

FINE!

So, here I am. At home. Unable to sleep day and night –pregnancy insomnia, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position (most of the time I sleep sitting up), and worst; both my arms and hands fall asleep as soon as I dozed off. No matter if I put it on a pillow, it will still pain me like FOOORRRRKKKK THIS IS CRAZY SHIT AGONY MAN. I miss sleeping…

I shall change my status from human to nocturnal creature soon.

Hospital bags are readied like a month ago. The only thing I haven’t done is the baby’s crib. There’s a lot of stuff still cramp in the crib that I haven’t clear and arrange. Even his clothes are still folded in boxes (washed!) and not yet place in his cupboard. I guess I’m waiting for the nesting instinct to kicks in but so far… none. Or I’m just plain lazy. YES, FOLKS, I AM A LAZY NOCTURNAL WHOOHOO! [THROW CONFETTI][DANCE IN MY UNDERWEAR][SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPION IN MY LOWEST VOICE]

Okay. That’s all for now.

Fingers are throbbing already. Grr!!!!