Baby Making -Part 21

Every time someone ask me, how am handling my first pregnancy, I would say, GREAT! No problem! Everything’s peachy!

But only the Mister, my mom and my close friends know how I suffer during this pregnancy. Like really, really suffer.

In the first trimester, I had the world worst gastrick, fever, cough, back pain and cramps and I since I don’t dare to take medicines, I had to bear with it and suffered silently.  My cough was so bad that few times I broke down and cried hard coz I was scared the cough might harm my baby. Every time I had gastrick, I had to ask the mister to help me “buang angin” (wind) by massaging my back. I had fever 2-3 times I lost count and left me paralyzed in bed. These illnesses attacked again and again for the whole 3 months until all I could do was just whisper tiny moans like a dying whale on a beach. I was beaten THAT BAD.

Then in second trimester, for the first time in my life, I peed one red tiny worm and FREAKED THE F**K OUT. The doctor couldn’t find out why and how it happened and couldn’t prescribe me any kind of medication except just to advice me to drink more water.

In my fifth month of pregnancy, my right rib bones started to throb painfully that I couldn’t sleep for many nights. At first I thought it was fractured due to my heavy coughing (which I still have UNTIL NOW) but after a while the pain subsided. It came again a week later and this time it swelled badly and again I couldn’t move or lie down or sit or anything without wincing in pain. Doctor AGAIN couldn’t find what’s wrong with me so I decided to do my own research. After much reading online, I decided it MIGHT be because of the food I ate. I started to reduce my food intake, avoid spicy and salty food and lo behold! The pain went away.

Then my feet started to swell and it was so painful for me to walk especially in the morning. I reduced my salt intake, lifted my feet up and drink plenty of water. Nothing changed. My feet and ankle still resembles an abominable snowman’s feet until now.

On 12th October 2011, on the way back home after dinner, I coughed so hard, my amniotic fluid leaked and soaked my whole panties and stained my dress. The mister drove me to the hospital at the speed of 140km/h. The doctor admitted me for 48 hours observation. My baby, during scanning, was in an excellent health, active and was doing somersault and showing off to all my family members (who rushed to the hospital as soon as I told them what happened) that he’s fine and healthy. On the third day, I was discharged with a strict instruction that I stay in bed for 2 weeks, no work, no moving about, no house chores, and no nothing.

Now, now I have insomnia problem. I couldn’t sleep. Not. A . Bloody. Wink. Every night, I would wake up every one hour. Total hours of sleep: less than 3 hours. In the day, I spend my time watching TV or read but I still couldn’t close my eyes and sleep. Total hours of sleep in 24 hours: less than 5 hours. 

On my latest follow up check up, the doctor said I have TOO MUCH amniotic fluid. It could be a sign of diabetes or Polyhydramnios. Ya Allah... Banyak nya dugaan Mu Ya Allah...

After a blood check, doctor said I'm clean. No diabetes. Then what is wrong with me then? He said to come again in 3-4 weeks time for follow up.

I am scared, worried, stressed and depressed with all these sickness coming my way. I rather have it all to myself. I rather suffer but God, please spare my baby... 

I wish I can end this post with a happy note but the only glorious thing I can think of is that feeling my baby kicking hard every day and every morning when I wake up, is the only thing that keeps me going.

Please God, make my beautiful baby healthy, normal and perfect. Hanya Engkau maha berkuasa, lagi maha pemurah lagi maha penyayang. Amin...



Copyright © Balqiz 2012 | All rights reserved | Blog Design by Krafty Palette.