Couldn't have put it better myself...

"I've come to learn that you can only write honestly with time. For those who feel like I've lost a lot of the edge to my writing, it's because I've exhausted all the topics I can write honestly about. What can I write about today? The problem with writing a personal journal for a public audience is that part of the audience is bound to be people you see on a daily basis, people you have to talk to again. People in your life. Who may not recognize that this blog is just a journal of my thoughts - nothing more. These thoughts are not permanent, they waver, they morph, they go away - but the internet is permanent. Rather, its audience perceives it as permanent. Things you publish on the internet stay forever, right? No one realizes things that one does or writes in the past does not always carry into the future. That personality is not static. And this is the fucking audience I have to work with."~ Mayzhee

Each and every word. Exactly that.

My brain is shooting blanks.

After a whole week of wrestling life and death with my assignment/report, my brain now is a hollow space. Even when you scream HELLOOOOO, I can guarantee you there will never be an echo, screaming hello back at you. Just crickets. Nyit. Nyit. Nyit.

That is why it is a common to see me sitting in front of my blog thinking................................ Blank. I am an empty shell. Sad.

And as usual, soon after I submitted my assignment, I fell sick. It’s a curse I tell you. Each and every time after a big exam or after I submitted a major assignment, I will either get sick or I get sick. This time, I get sick-er. I had bouts of flu, headache and sore throat.

But because I was so selfishly terrified of being deprive of my son’s company, I fought it with the magic of my BRAIN. Yes, I mindfuck myself by thinking OH LA DEE DOO DAA I AM SO HEALTHY WHEEE WHOOO WHAAA and it worked –for two days.

Yesterday I crashed. Oodles of snots and sneezes went through my nose. The mister straightaway swooped Kaisan away and sent him to my mom’s for safety. God. I made myself sound like a deadly plague.But I'm okay now. Until I typed these below...

I had my toenail removed. WHAT? DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID? Yes, T-O-E-N-A-I-L REMOVAL SURGERY. Na’ah kidding. There was no surgery. Just a simple pluck and pull. Ouch.

Due to my water retention last few months (remember the glorious moment of me ranting non-stop in e-ve-ry post about my pregnancy water retention? Ah yes. Good times) my toenails experienced the world most horrific ingrown ever. It was bloody painful and I had the mister to help me cut it as much as he can during my pregnancy because I can’t bend. Then, after I give birth, toenails still growing into my flesh and for four months I was hobbling around in pain and agony until 2 days ago I decided to see a specialist about it.

After explaining my condition to the doctor, he said, “I think you already know what I’m going to do next right?”

[Sigh] Think much. Yes, I pretty much know what’s in store for this poor toe of mine. 

There was no other choice but to pull the nail out. The doctor injected my toe 3 times (and that folks, makes a total of 9 injections I had this year! And it’s only June! Whee!) and once numb, the doctor tugged the nail slowly and voila!

I have the nail with me now and no, I am not going to post the photo here in fear you’ll slam me over with a lumberjack hammer. The ingrown was… HUGE. MOTHERFUCKING HUGE. No wonder I was in constant pain and ready to scream like a little girl anytime the sore part was being touched.

So here I am with a huge bandage on my toe and I can’t move much due to slight pain whenever I put pressure on it. How do I move about? Hobble. Hobble. Hobble.