Kaisan's Birth Story -Part 1


For many days I’ve been drafting and redrafting this post in my head but extremely reluctant to jot it down for real. The truth is; what I went through was short of a nightmare basked in a ray of sunshine. Of course the sunshine overwrite the entire nightmare all together but to recall back what had happened is like summoning the devil back from hell.

I thought of skipping this labor story entirely but I owe it to my senile memory and for the sake of reminding myself some of the stupid mistake I made when I didn’t sleep for more than 72 hours.

Because the story is pretty long, I’m dividing it into 3 parts. Or two. We’ll see.

So where do I start? Let us start from the very beginning…


3rd February 2012

I woke up quite early that day. After sending off the Mister to work, I proceeded to waddle in pain to the toilet and shower. That was when I noticed HOLY GOOD FOR NOTHING CERVIX! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FINGERS?! Yes, it was my fingers. It was the size of a sausage and it was throbbing in pain. My feet were swollen as bad as my hands.

I was terrified. All these while, my water retention and swelling just amused me. But this time, it was alarming and all I can think was, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?” I was bloating and throbbing E-VE-RY-WHERE and I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. It’s like, my water retention triple its amount last night.

I called up the Mister and told him my condition. I think he heard the slight hysteria behind my calm whisper, “MY FINGERS ARE HUUUUUGE! MY FEET BELONGS TO A MONSTER! I’M SCAAAAAARED! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!!” He asked me to contact my doctor immediately and so I did. I was shaking from head to toe. Yes, I was THAT scared. I was turning into some grotesque looking pregnant alien and I almost scream to my doctor on the phone, “GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME NOW BEFORE I EXPLODE INTO A PUDDLE OF WATER!”

After describing to my doctor my state, he asked me to come down his hospital that afternoon. At the same time he asked me to bring my hospital bag along in case he needs to admit me for further check up.

I called up my mom and my sister to pick me up and told the Mister to meet me at the hospital.

My hospital bag and my baby’s bag have been readied for weeks. I declined to have anything for lunch. I drank a glass of cold milk and that was it. I finally was able to relax and feeling all calm knowing I’ll be in good hands in mere hours.

We arrived at the hospital at 2pm and immediately ushered to my doctor’s room. My mom, my sister and the Mister cramped up in the small room, all anxious to know what was wrong with me.

Before I go further, let me warn you that this is the last non-explicit, non-icky, non-gruesome sentence you’ll read because after this, it’s gonna get REEEEEEALLY GRAPHIC. You’ve been forewarned.

The doctor then proceeded to check my cervix. My verdict? UNPLEASANT! Have you ever had someone shove his entire arm down your throat then jiggle it all around? Yes? Well that was how it felt like to me when he thrust his hands inside my vagina to check my dilation.

He didn’t say anything. Well, I don’t expect him to chat with me while his hand is inside me but his silence was… deafening.

I asked him, “Am I dilating?” he inhaled and for the first time ever, my doctor who is known for his chuckling and good humor self looked so grim and serious. He asked me to sit down next to the Mister and gave us the news.

“Your water retention is getting worst (DUH! TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW) and chances it might go into you and your baby’s lung is very high. You are not dilating at all and you have placenta previa. You need to have c-sec immediately”

Immediately? Okay. Immediately can be tomorrow or the day after right? Or tonight? I can go home first and get ready properly first right? Right? ROOOOOOITE?

“Immediately is now. Go to level 2 and we’ll begin your surgery at 2:30pm”

Wait. What? In half an hour you’re gonna cut me WIDE OPEN? Are you for real?

The Mister asked for a little bit more time coz he needed to go back to his office and collect his belongings. The doctor said, “Ok. I give you 15 minutes”

WHAT? Again. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? FIFTEEN FRIGGIN' MINUTES?

While the Mister dashed like the wind to his office, I went upstairs to level 2 accompanied by my mom and my sister. I can’t describe how I felt that time because everything was going too fast. Next thing I know, I was asked to change into a peek-a-boo-I-can-see-your-ass gown, propped on a bed, two nurses SHAVING my pubic hair [FACEPALM] [ULTIMATE HUMILIATION] [I JUST SHAVE FEW DAYS AGO APPARENTLY IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE HIGH AND MIGHTIEST] and inserting a super long plastic tube inside my vagina for urination and IT WAS AS UNPLEASANT AS THE DOCTOR CHECKING MY DILATION. They kept saying “Inhale. Inhale”. I kept thinking, “IN HELL. IN HELL”

Before I can adjust myself with the fact that there’s a plastic tube inside me, I was immediately wheeled to the operating room.

Oi! Oi! I haven’t even said anything to my mom! Where’s my husband? I thought he’s coming in with me in the operating room?

Then I was in a hall where this cheerful chatty guy who introduced himself as the anesthesiologist and explained to me what will happen. When he said he’s going to insert a long needle up my spine, I was like GET ME OUT OF HERE I DON’T WANT NEEDLES INSIDE MY BACK BONE LET ME BE PREGNANT FOREVER HELP NO HELP AARRGHHH but when I received the spinal… well, what do you know? It was so pleasant; it made me all giggly-like. Slowly I lost the feeling of the lower part of my body and the feeling was incredible. It was like I was floating and it made me wanted to sing out loud. For the first time in 9 months; I had my old body back. No pain, no aching, no throbbing and I was… FLYING LIKE A BIRD!

The Mister came in and sat next to me asked me how I was feeling. I was giggling and making stupid joke about how I was just a floating head and the rest of my body is nowhere to be found. Sick. I know.

My mom was there too and we were lucky she joined us inside as she managed to video everything while the Mister kept me company. Because we didn't know I was going to deliver that day, we forgot to bring our camera but thankfully my mom carried a small compact camera which work as a video camera at the same time. Phew! Lucky! [But she didn't focus properly so everything was blurry]

The procedure was fast and I hardly felt anything. Once the doctor pulled out Kaisan from my belly, I heard my mom sobbing and crying and repeatedly exclaimed, “Ooo he’s beautiful! Oooo you should see this! He’s beautiful! He’s so beautiful!” and I kept asking, “Why isn’t he crying?” Worried was an understatement. I was strapped down unable to see anything except my husband’s face and I can’t move and I wanted to see my baby and WHY IS HE NOT CRYING?

Turns out he was being “cleaned” by the pediatrician (removing mucus and whatnot) and once he cried, the first thing I said was, “Why does he sound like a duck?”

It would be weird right to call him Abang Duck? Yes, it would.

The doctor then showed me my baby and tears started to flow. Oh my God… I gave birth to a human being! A baby human! And he’s perfect and crying and whimpering and smelling like… Roasted chicken? What the…? I asked the Mister to smell the baby and he agreed the baby smelled like roasted chicken. But my mom said there’s no such thing. There's just pure sweet scented baby smell. Strange. I swear he smell like roasted chicken…

The Mister went to ‘azan’ the baby while I was being stitched up.

I was still in euphoria that the baby in my belly is finally out and kicking air instead of kicking me. That very moment I realized everything changed. My life, my marriage, my relationship with everybody including friends and family changed. I am now a mother. The status felt alien to me so I tried to think of something else. Like, how soon can I go on a vacation after my 44 days confinement? How much is a return ticket to Singapore? Or should we go on a family trip to oversea end of this year?

When the baby was showed to me again, I tried to memories his every feature and… there’s my nose on his face. Well, at least there’s something from me in him. And kissed his roasted chicken scent.

Once everything was all done, I was wheeled back to my room and I met my in-laws and my sister outside and everyone was asking me, “Guess how much he weight?” I answered, “3.5kg?” And apparently I was the first and only one who gave the right answer. To be exact, Kaisan weight 3.6kg. I pretty much guessed it already coz my doctor said I couldn’t have push the baby out naturally as he was pretty big.

Still numb from waist down, all I can do was lie flat on my bed. I tried to move my feet and felt nothing. The nurses said in 6 hours I would be able to feel my body again but less than 4 hours, I can already feel the BUUUUUUUURN! EVERYTHING IS BURNING! MY BED IS BURNING! MY WAIST! MY BELLY! LET’S GO TO THE ZOO IN SINGAPORE AND BURN ALL THE ANIMALS THERE! LET’S GO TO KL AND BURN ALL THE CLOTHES IN PAVILION MALL!

The pain was INSANELY CRAZY.

The nurse then injected painkiller but THE PLANE IS ON FIRE STILL! BURN MY TICKETS! BURN MY WALLET! BURN EVERYTHING I AM STILL IN PAIN I DON’T WANT TO GO SHOPPING ANYMORE LET ME BE A NUN AND WEAR ONE OUTFIT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

From 8pm until 2am, I was in and out of sleep (drowsy due to the painkiller) but moaning in pain still. I beg the nurse to give me something stronger. She gave me 2 pieces of Panadols. PANADOLS? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?! I swallowed it immediately and GUESS WHAT? PAIN IS STILL HERE TO STAY! PAIN IS MOVING IN WITH ME AND MY HUSBAND AND THE PAIN WILL BUNK IN MY READING ROOM AND WE’LL BE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY!

At 3am, the nurse came again and said she finally received instruction from my doctor to give me painkiller stronger than the one she first injected in me. And once she jab me, it was like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEEEEEE-NAAAAAAP GIIIIIRRRRRRRLLLLL THIS IS MY JAAAAAAAAM! And instantly I fell asleep, pain standing outside the door with its luggage and all. YOU’RE OUT!




To be continued…








8 Comments:

LV said...

Beautiful story.... Can't wait for the next episode. Haha!! I doubt I could write such details if it was me. I most probably will use point form to describe everything. Anyway, congratulation and take care!!!

LadyBird said...

ahahahaha you never fail to make me laugh on your thoughts while going thru those situation, kinda remind me so much about my own experience just that back then i didnt get it 'documented' maklumlah agik buta IT masa ya ahakz..

anyway, selamat menjalani masa berpantang and i cant wait for the next part :)

Nour El AiN said...

Congrats...... Mommy kaisan...
N a big huwaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh 2 me..
Dis saturday penentu nasib if bb still in breech position so... For d first time will go through c-sec.. Menarka sakittttttttttttttttttttttttt mun bius dah hbs..huwarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gney la tok.. Gney la... Huuuuhuhuuu

sya_zazoo said...

haha..same experience with me. 1st one emergency c-sec.

Balqiz said...

LV, the 'feel' is still there that's why hehehe

Eileen, you can recall and write about it again. Blog material itew hahaha

Nour, petua org mun nak musin anak yg songsang is to talk to the baby. Pujuk nya turun ke dibah. Suruh bapak nya pujuk nya juak. Urut2 perut sambil padah, "turun ktk dibah tok aaa... Palak kitak dibah aaa" hahaha doesn't hurt to try :-)

Sya_zazoo, apahal emergency c-sec?

apijah said...

aih berbelit belit rah kerusi kmk maca post tok...

sya_zazoo said...

air ketuban sudah kering maa... haha..sik sempat hubby mok join in OT. catched flight ptg..isok pg bok dpt tangga baby.

Anonymous said...

Finally, a post on your labour!

C-sec pun c-sec la asalkan both mummy and baby selamat :)

Tapiiii, do let other people fuss over you as you really need to take good care of your stitches, sak nya heal fast and proper :) I think there are few food yang bagus dimakan to help nya heal. And I know some people padah stitch ya gatal so iboh garukkkkk hehehe...

As for Nour, mun baby gik breach, what you can do is get down on all fours (mun dpt) and merangkak for few langkah (lagik besar kaki dpt dikangkang lagik bgs) sbb this will create space for baby utk turn. After few days insyaallah baby akan turn. However, mun kitak ragu2 bout my suggestion, ktk boleh look up on the Internet or talk to your doctor :)

-Zhu

 

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