Brain? What brain?
I had a brain. Once. Then I become a mom and I lost it somewhere among my son’s dirty diapers and my 961 shirts that has been puked on.
If you’re a mom (especially a new mom) maybe you can relate to some of the brainless incidents that I experienced lately. Behold; MOMMY BRAIN SYNDROME:
1. Had a major cardiac arrest when I went into the room and stared at my son’s empty crib. OH MY GOD WHERE IS MY BABY?! Oh wait. I took him out a minute ago to put him in his playpen.
2. [Telephone conversation]
Me: “Mom, what time are you coming over?”
Husband: “Erm… Baby? This is me…”
Me: “Huh? What the…? Why are you answering mom’s phone?”
Husband: “Errr… You called MY phone”
Me: “Really?” [Check the number dialed] “HOLY MOTHER OF $%#@!”
Husband: “Baby, this is 6th times in a week you accidentally called me...”
3. Went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and stared at it for 5 minutes and have no clue what I was looking for.
4. I washed Kaisan’s bottles FOUR TIMES because each time after I finished washing it, I asked myself, “Did I wash this already?” and washed it again. Repeat that four times. FOUR TIMES.
5. Waited half an hour for the rice to cook only to realize I didn’t turn on the rice cooker’s switch.
6. I turned the house upside down looking for my phone when the entire time, the phone was in my hand.
7. I was asked to check my email at 8am and as I switched on my computer, I tried using the aircond’s remote as the mouse. I thought the sensor gone fuck and was cursing the entire time that I have to buy a new mouse.
8. [Driving with my pregnant sister]
“Why are we at the fish market? Aren’t we supposed to go to the night market?”
“I want to get a toilet mat”
“Here? At a FISH MARKET?”
“HOLY MOTHER OF!!!” [Turned car around and drove to the night market]
“Wait a minute. It’s 10am. The night market opens at 6pm!”
“HOLY MOTHER OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
9. Few nights ago, I was asked by the Mister to cook roasted chicken. When I was serving, he asked, “I thought you’re making me roasted chicken…?” Huh? I MADE HIM FRIED CHICKEN INSTEAD I DON’T EVEN!
And the crown jewels of all:
10. I washed my face with contact lens solution because I thought it was my facial foam.
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