An eventful night- straight out of a gothic novel

Yesterday, I came home feeling oh-so tired. My body was aching everywhere and there’s nothing I can do to make myself feel comfortable. The mister noticed my foul mood, steered far away from me. Bless his soul. He knows I prefer to be alone when I’m in my ‘moods’.

At 7:30pm, after dinner, I dragged my wary body to bed and conked out instantly. It would be a pleasant and relaxing sleep if I did not wake up a dozen times at least. I just couldn’t find a sleeping position that can ease my aching back.

 

Tossing and turning until 11pm, I decided to sleep sitting instead. I propped some pillows behind me and fell asleep as soon as my back stop hurting. But at 2am, I woke up almost falling off the bed. By the look of my pillows and blankets scattered everywhere, I must have been flailing around the bed like a fish out of water. I guess my body took the initiative to find a comfortable sleeping position without wanting to wake me up. Or the mere fact that I can’t be woken up at all coz I was totally dead to the world.

Sighing to myself, I decided to sleep in the living room, on a TV couch that’s pretty flat and hard. The very moment my body touched the couch, O-MAI-GAD! I SWEAR THERE WERE ANGELS SINGING! Then I remembered reading somewhere that flat hard surface is recommended for pregnant woman’s back. Oy… [Slap head] Why oh why did I not apply what I read before? Wouldn’t it save me from constant backache all these while? Jeez…

 

As I happily snuggled with my many pillows and no back pain, I heard noises outside the house. My living room is facing the outside patio and I swear, I heard something scratching the window. Too tired to care, I ignored it. Few minutes later, I heard it again. This time the scratching sounded so urgent. Like something badly wanted to come inside.

EEEEEEEEEKKKK! I jumped off the couch and ran to my room and woke the mister up. Trying REALLY, REALLY hard not to sound hysterical with fear, I asked him ever so nicely to accompany me sleep outside. He obliged without saying a word.

Yes, I know. WHY WOULD I STILL WANT TO SLEEP THERE AFTER THE SCARY SCRATCHING JUST NOW, RIGHT? Because my backache is MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD. I NEED MY SLEEP, DAMMIT.

 

As we settled in, I can’t shake the feeling that something menacing is still in the air. I quietly recite some Quran verses and suddenly the front door, which is few meters away from where we were sleeping were banged hard from the outside.

 

Creepy? FUCK YEAH.

 

Did I check it out? HELL NO. I waited a while and as expected, the mister woke up and grumpily asked, “What was that?” I said I don’t know.

 

He walked to the door and poked his head out.

 

If it were me, NOOOOOOOO FREAAAAAAAKING WAAAAAAAAAAAAY AM I GOING TO OPEN MY EYES AND SEE WHAT’S OUTSIDE COZ I KNOW THERE IS A BLOODY HERD OF BRAIN EATING ZOMBIES QUEUING TO EAT ME ALIVE.

 

“Anything?” I asked the mister from underneath my blanket.

“Nope. Nothing. Weird” he said.

Should I tell him of the scratching sound I heard earlier on?

 

I wanted to but I was distracted by my baby moving and kicking inside me. Like really active! If only I can read minds, I bet the baby was saying, “MOM, WHAT THE F****************K!!!! WHAT WAS THAT?! RUN MOM! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!” I know child, I know. Sleep, child. Sleep. Please don’t be a nocturnal. Please.

 

Please.

 

Please.

 

Plezzzzzzzzzzzz..zz.zzzzz..z.zzzz…..

As long as it makes me happy, I'll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.

As much as I hate to admit it, I gotta agree with majority of my friends and family that I do not have high tolerance towards pain. Be it physical or emotional pain. I yell LOUDLY at a mere prick of a needle. By loud, I mean, the whole Sarawak can HEAR my pain.

The first time the Mister experience me having leg cramps in the middle of a night while sleeping, he almost fell off the bed. The murderous scream I let out was like a psycho killer was stabbing me repeatedly, when in fact, it was just a mere leg cramp.

So, me and pain, yeah, we don’t go well together.

I wonder how I am going to go through child birth. I have a feeling as soon as I feel the contraction; I’ll be pleading for massive dose of epidural. I know. I know. A lot of people have been telling me to lay off epidural and bear the pain like our mothers and grandmothers and their mothers before. Be strong, they say. This is what a mother does, they say. I won’t be able to call myself a REAL WOMAN if I surrender to drugs, they say (so all these while, I’m a man?)

Sigh…

I haven’t discussed with my doctor yet what my birthing plan is. But he did mentioned few times that with my low tolerance towards pain, I won’t last long without drugs. EVEN MY DOCTOR ADMITS IT. WHAT’S MORE GLARING THAN THAT? Believe me; it does not make me feel proud of myself…

[Sitting at the corner of a wall and draw small circles with finger]

Even now, I’m constantly complaining about my aching back, my painful swelling cramp-every-night-legs and my inability to sleep. Oh believe me; I do TRY to minimize the constant whining coz as what people has been sarcastically telling me, “You want a child of your own right? THEN SUCK IT UP, WOMAN” Very supporting and spirit lifting people I have around me. Or the mere fact that they are tired of my whining and just want to shut me up…

People are mean.

[Sitting at the corner of a wall and draw small circles with finger]

 

If you can't beat 'em to death, invite 'em in.

It was THE MOTHER of all spiders.

It crept in my house while the Mister and I were watching TV. I shrieked my head off which goes something like this: EEEEEEK!!! EEEEEKKKK!!! EEEEKKK!!! And the Mister frantically ran around in circles looking for something to swat it with and I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON’T! KILL! IT! coz I have a soft heart for animals of all kind (except ants and flies –THOSE YOU CAN SWAT SWAT SWAT!) and the Mister said THEN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT THEN?! INVITE IT TO LIVE WITH US?! And I gave my dear husband a look that clearly written D’UH! OF COURSE! I’M NAMING HER MISS WEBBY and coz he understands me perfectly, he put down the riffle broom and settled back in the sofa and we continued watching The Voice.

Miss Webby is still in the house. Somewhere.

My Momma said you don't have to look like a drown goldfish just coz you're pregnant... (Baby Making Part 20)

... So, instead of putting on boring, dull and ugly maternity clothes, I wear these instead:

These are MY kinda maternity clothes and I have a feeling... in the next few weeks I won't be able to fit in it anymore. Belly is growing rapidly!

Part II coming soon!

Parental guidance is highly recommended.

Tepet Shawshank Redemption Hook Shot the Third a.k.a. Mei Mei a.k.a Gomok will be my guest post today.

Take it away, Tepet Shawshank Redemption Hook Shot the Third a.k.a. Mei Mei a.k.a Gomok Subhanallah panjang na namaaaaaaaaa eh!

***************************

I'm not in a good mood today. I just found out... my gift to my master got thrown in the rubbish bin like it has insignificant value. Doesn't she know how much effort I put in to catch that lizard? The whole 2 hours of my life okay! And when I gave it to her, she went hysterical and screaming her head off instead of thanking me and next thing I know… *sob* she threw the lizard’s carcass away. Oh. My. God. The hurt. The pain. The… OooOo! Cockroach! [spend the next 2 hours chasing cockroach]



Where was I? Oh. Yes. Whatever.


Since I’m QUITE honored to be featured in this blog (do know I have better things to do like cleaning myself and nap for 12 hours but oh well…), I will present to you a special performance by… yours truly of course!



I called this act, RELEASE THE KRAKEN! [insert meowy laughter]



PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!

TADA!!!!!!!!

DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU? DID YOU!!!!! WHAT? YOU WERE BLINKING?

Y U NO SEE MY CUTE PERFORMANCE!?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAA! I was just kidding. Scare you there for a minute HA-HA!



OK BAI.

My OMG-THAT-IS-NOT-MY-FEET Moment

I woke up yesterday with these feet.

Someone must have switch my dainty feet with sumo wrestler's feet the night before while I was heavily asleep.


It hurts when I walked. The whole day yesterday, I had my feet propped up on two cushions.


By evening, it went to its normal size.


But today after a hard work of cleaning the house, it swell back until I think, I THINK, I was not born with a pair of ankles.


Sigh...

*Throw Confetti*

My good friend DB recently transferred to Kazakhstan and before she went off, she left me a big box full of baby gifts!


Thank you, D!!!!

Lots and lots of baby bibs! I really do not have to buy anymore!

These made the Mister grinning for a whole half an hour. 5 Manchester United baby shirts for the baby to be worn from birth until 2 years old! The smallest is size 0-3M and awww... so cute! Looks like the baby have no choice but to be a MU fan since Daddy and Mummy are big MU fans ha-ha!

Cutest most adorable baby socks E-VER! *teary-eyed* So Happy!

And yes, my personal favorite- a Ferrari onesie! I can't wait to put it on my baby!


Thank you again, D!!!! *HUGS* Totally made my day!

Sukatiku Entam Roasted Chicken Wings

Armed with some kick ass kitchen utensils, a pregnant belly and zero cooking skills, I made my own version of roasted chicken wings.


Voila!

Too bad the photos didn't turn out as delicious as the chicken though. Epic.

Sukatiku entam resipi:


Chicken wings, chicken stock, soy sauce, oyster sauce, chili powder, garlic powder, cilantro, olive oil and pounded garlic and ginger. Leave it marinate for 2 hours then roast it to death for 20 minutes. Devour it while its hot.

List of things to buy for our newborn

List of things to buy for our newborn:

1. Travelling

   • Car seat

   • Stroller (If possible, a travelling system that has both a car seat and a stroller)



2. Crib

  • Crib ü 

  • Crib linens

  • 1 mattress pad

  • 2 crib sheets

  • 2 waterproof mattress pads

  • 2 blankets (1 thick, 1 light)


3. Diaper related stuff

  • Baby wipes

  • Changing pad

  • Diaper bag

  • Diaper rash cream

  • Disposable diapers

  • Cloth diapers (GO GREEN!)


4. Baby's clothes (0-3 months)

  • 6 onesies

  • 6 pajamas

  • 4 side-snap tees and pants (2 long sleeves, 2 short sleeves)

  • 4 shirts and matching pants (2 long sleeves, 2 short sleeves)

  • 4 pairs of socks

  • 2 pair of mittens

  • 2 hats

  • 4 swaddle blankets

  • 4 bibs

  • 6 wash cloths

  • 4 baby ‘tapal’ (I think it’s girdle in English)



5. Bath items:

   • Bath tub

   • Buy packaged bath kits that contain many accessories like thermometer, comb, scissors, and nail clippers.

   • Shampoo

   • Baby lotion

   • Baby oil

   • Towels ( 2 hoodies and 2 soft towels)


6. Breast feeding equipment

   • Breast pump

   • Nursing bras

   • Breast pads

   • Nipple cream


7. Bottle feeding items

   • 6 bottles (3 big/tall, 2 small/short)

   • Sterilizing equipment

   • 1 bottle brush

   • 1 bottle warmer

   • Infant formula milk (?)

   • Dishwasher basket for bottles


8. Medicines

   • Rubbing alcohol and cotton swabs (for the umbilical cord)

   • Minyak kayu putih


9. Extra

  • Clothing cupboard ü  

  • Hangers

  • Night lamp

  • Ionizer

  • Play mat



If I miss anything, do inform me hokay? Thankyouverymuchyouaretotallyawesome!

Oh you don't want to read this. It's full of rants. Thankyoupleasecomeagainlater (Baby Making Part 18)

Finally. A time to breath and stretch my legs and get cramps chill. 3 days off, yo! 

Happy Malaysia Day!

These 2 weeks has been kreeeeeyaaaazeee for both the Mister and I. 

It all started out last week, when at work, I was given two new projects. It was fine and dandy at first until it all got mix with my routine jobs and all hell break loose. It was like... a remake of Nightmare in Elm Street all over again. Trying to maintain professionalism at work while pregnant and constantly need to pee and eat and pee and eat and groaning OH MY BAAAACK MY BAAAAAACK BA-A-A-A-ACK and juggling massive loads of work all at the same time is pure insanity. But I survived. And lived to babble about it.

The mister too had to work like a herd of brain-eating-zombies were chasing his butt and due to work deadlines, he even had to work at home and in the weekends.

Then there were invitations of Raya open house from friends and family that we must attend because unfortunately for the mister, he married a MONSTER WHO WILL EAT KLCC TWIN TOWERS IF SHE DIDN'T GET FED WITH ALL THE DELICIOUS FOOD IN THE WORLD despite how tired and exhausted she is.

Then of course, house work. Who can deny the pleading sound of a sobbing toilets asking to be scrub? Or a basket of laundry screaming they stink like a hobo's butthole? Or living rooms (plural yes, we have 2 living rooms) looking like a mother whale just trashes her massive body there and left a party of shits all over the place? The question is: HOW THE HELL DID THE HOUSE GET SO MESSY WHEN 90% OF THE TIME THE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE ARE EITHER AT WORK OR ASLEEP? Scientists, please solve this mystery for me. Thank you very much.

So our life was like, work, home, attend open house, come home, clean house, sleep. And the vicious cycle continues.

It's a bloody miracle that I still can blog and Twitter. Well, not quite. This week blog posts were all written 3-4 weeks ago. I just simply hit publish when I have the time to say hi-hello-how-are-you-still-alive to my blog. And last week, no post whatsoever. I think. Can't remember. Brain cells are lacking of oxygen coz all went to baby. I love my baby.

And Twitter, since I'm in front of my PC most of the time, it's easy to just click a tab and jot down few words and done. When I'm peeing, I tweet. I pee a lot. Still. So there's tweet splashes with urine scented scent [insert gagging motion] and when I'm at home, I disappear from Twitter world coz there is a high chance I fell asleep at 8pm.

Yes, yes go ahead and point finger and nye nye nye nye nye nye at me for being a 30 year old granny who sleeps so early and have dinner at 5pm. I am sooooooo happening.

I wonder how life gonna be when the baby arrives?

Hmmm....

Your Money is Screaming SAVE ME! SAVE ME!

This is just a friendly BORING reminder to my readers that if you are working right now, or just about to start working, or students still but one hell of a lucky bastard to get really, really generous pocket money from your parents, if you have not start saving your money, do start now.

Once you have saved, say maybe, around RM1k and above, invest the money.

Once you have enough money in your EPF, invest the money.

Earning only RM800 a month? Save RM50 a month is already creating a milestone. A huge motha fakha milestone, believe me.

I don’t have to tell you the benefits of saving coz duh… This is not the stone-edge era. Everyone knows about saving money. But despite knowing about it, not many are doing it. Close example: ME. Tada! I never save my money. Because:

1) NO ONE REMINDED ME TO DO SO. I have a brain that leaks information faster than you can say short-term-memory-lost-much. If people don’t constantly remind me to do something, like, “Have you watered the plants?” I would probably let my plants died starving of water for a millennia. This is the trouble with ADHD people. Our memory is as miniscule as a gnat.

2) I have no self –control whatsoever. Yes, I spend my money like I’m the Queen Money Making Land or some shit like that. Only now, I started to slow down. Like, really, really slow down. I keep thinking; baby is coming… Baby will need clothes, diapers, and formula and oOoo cute onesies!

3) I don’t know shit about saving and investment. And I was lazy to know about it.

But as I said in my previous, previous post (Go dig it yourself. By now you should know what a buttlazy person I am), this year, I started to get really serious about money. Last few years, my money went to crazy shopping spree and only saved like, wow, RM100 or less a month. If I could turn back times, yes, I probably would slap myself with a shovel for being such an idiotic bitch.

There are those who simply assigned an agent to play around with their money and invest it wherever the agent think the market is good. That is the lazy kind of investment. It’s good for those who are busy. I am one of those lazy busy people. But at the same time, not knowing shit about it makes me edgy. I rather KNOW what happens to my money than trusting it on another person so that’s where I started to slowly learn about investment and stuff.

It’s pretty ironic that for a person who took finance and accounting in college, I ended up staring doofusly at my bank statement and wondered out loud, “Debit is… debt I owe to the bank is it?” Okay, I’m not THAT dumb but when I started to dabble with investment, the figures and finance jargons simply just danced nakedly in front of me. I don’t know SHIT.

And it took me ages to finally get the initiative to LEARN. BORING! I know! I’m stubborn. And again, the thought of another person touching and playing with my money (though they are VERY trustworthy) makes me nervous and that pushes me to say, BRING IT.

This is not a post to teach you about investing and saving your money coz you can Google it up and there are millions of websites out there talking about it.

This is a post to REMIND you (and at the same time, remind myself) to start saving. If you already start to do so, I applaud and kowtow to your advance superiority.

If you haven’t, it’s not too late. Start this month. As I said, RM100 or less is better than nothing.

Bai.

This Post is NOT Sponsored by Playboy (Baby Making Part 17)

Me: Will you talk to the baby?


The Mister: Of course. Why?


Me: I mean, now, when the baby's in my belly. Will you talk to my belly?


The Mister: (Silence)


Me: It is mentioned that the baby can hear already. Both my voice and your voice.


The Mister: (Silence)


Me: It's good for the baby you know. Talking creates bonds between us and the baby.


The Mister: (Silence)


Me: (Silence) (Staring into space) (Scratch butt)


The Mister: (Silence)


Me: Don't worry, I understand. It's freaking weird to talk to a stomach. I, myself cringe whenever I try to talk to my belly. It's like I'm trying to create a conversation with my belly button. AWK-WARD.


The Mister: (Sigh relieve) Thank you for understanding! (Nervous laughter)


Me: Yeah, we'll be an awesome parents


(High-five)



P/s The black mark on my belly button is from my cyst operation early this year. And the black line coming down from my belly button is called linea negra. Very common during pregnancy. And I was wearing my husband's boxer (Snicker).

All About Food Baybeh (Baby Making Part 16)

When I was 6 weeks pregnant and didn’t know I was pregnant, food and I just don’t click. I lost my appetite to eat anything except: banana fritters. I ate banana fritters everyday and every evening. When I eat rice, I only eat it with sour plum and ‘sambal belacan’.

Then a week after I took the pregnancy test, my appetite to eat came back and boy, it was massive. My appetite brought along its whole family including the whole nine yard of its cousins and relatives. I was hungry E-VE-RY-SE-COND of the day. For a person who doesn’t eat breakfast, it was amazing to see my face at the office’s café early in the morning queuing for food. Then at 10am, I will be hungry again. To silent the screaming hunger, I stuffed my face with fruits. Then at 11:30am I will have lunch. And then dinner at 5pm and supper at 9pm.

Surprisingly, I don’t pack too much weight in my first trimester. I gained 2kg only. My non pregnant friends, on the other hand, are gaining so much weight by just hanging out with me.

But on my last checkup, guess what? I weight a whooping 56kg! HOLY MONKEY NUTS! From 52kg, I gained 4kg in mere days! That big jump of a number shocked the hell outta me!

Doctor did say that it’s just water weight and not to worry too much. Said it’s a normal weight to gain during this time. PHEEEEEW!

I don’t eat that much actually. Yes I eat all around the clock but I don’t eat a lot at once. I eat small portion here and there. Even though people keep telling me to just eat whatever I feel like eating and eat it as much as I can coz I’m eating for two, I don’t. I watch what I eat. I eat what’s healthy for me and for my baby. Junk food? Perish the thought! I shudder at the thought of swallowing McDonald burger coz not only my body can’t accept it but also, it’s not healthy.

In a meal, I must have lots of vegetables. And later, for dessert or snack, I’ll be munching on fruits, dates or raisins. That is why when I went to KL recently, the lack of veggie in their meal really made me burst my shits out. How do these people poop? Constipation much! Even if they do serve veggie, holy butthole! The veggie is sooooo well done; it’s practically rubbish to eat. Why are they murdering their veggies? It’s dead already for crying out loud!

As soon as I landed back to Miri, I had dishes after dishes of fresh salad.

And I’m quite shocked to find out there are a lot of pregnant moms out there who really don’t care what they eat. To them, as long as it’s nice and filling and convenient, it’s good to go. You are carrying a life inside you and that life is depending on you to provide it with healthy nutrition and yet… Sigh. Some told me they can’t stop the urge to eat junk food or drink sweet drinks 10 times a day because they crave for it. I may not understand this coz I don’t have craving much but if I can fight off my nausea by NOT thinking about it or diverting my mind elsewhere, wouldn’t it work the same with craving junk, salty, sweet food? I admit one of my greatest weaknesses is carbonated drinks. If I want to follow my guts, I would chunk down the whole 10 dozen of Coca-cola can drink. But I also know it’s not healthy. So what I did was to drink a sip or two of it and that’s about it.


As Sarawakians like to say, “Jangan ndak cerik bah. Pake muas ati” (as long as I have a taste of it, no matter how little, it’s better than nothing –crappy translation)

Bai!

My Love/Hate Relationship

Remember "Tepet Shawshank Redemption Hook Shot the Third"?


This is how she looks like now:

Fat as fat as ever.

She's so deliciously pretty, playful and her fur! OH MAI GASH! I AM SO ALLERGIC TO HER FUR! Yes, yes, very nice fur. THOSE BOOOTIFUL FUR MADE ME SNEEZE AND CRY AND SNIFFLING GREEN MUCUS. But she's still as pweety as ever!


Love/hate relationship.

I was kidnapped, tortured and was fed with only ... water for a week by...

The damn fever.

If you follow me in Twitter, you would know that I didn't celebrate Hari Raya this year coz I was down with fever. Thanks Madam Fever for ruining my first Raya with my husband. By the way, that pink sweater you have on? Yeah, that makes you look like a purple-strangled-chocked-to-death octopus. Ha-ha!

 

I was okay in the morning of the first day but after one visit to the Mister's relative's house, I was seeing triple misters and was like, did I marry you or you or you early this year? The Mister brought me home and that was the last time I see... Hari Raya 2011. 

 

I was so looking forward for Raya coz of all the food but AARRGHHH! *Stab fever with sharp well manicured nails* I couldn't eat anything else aside from porridge. I couldn't drink anything sweet aside from plain water. I couldn't go visiting and had to stay in bed, coughing, sneezing, flu, migraine and was this close to shoot myself in the mouth. I was SO MISERABLE. 

 

I couldn't simply take any medicines over the counter so I had to wait 3 days for my doctor to open his clinic and the 3 days felt like FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND NEVER SEEMS TO END. 

I send this photo to my Twitter friends at around 8am:

No one would have guess that 5 hours after that I tweeted that I was forced to physically wrestled smelly, green, blazing hot and lusty trolls send by the evil Madam Fever.



There goes my Raya.



And that was why it took me forever to update my blog. No mood whatsoever.



I'm okay already. BUT I MISS MY MOM'S CHICKEN CURRY AND LEMANG AND NASI HIMPIT AND KUIH LAPIS AND LAMB AND AAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!




Bai.

My Gratitude This Festive Season

I was gleefully eating Raya cakes and biscuits when suddenly I recalled an old scene, same scenario but different outcome which happened 3-4 years ago.

 

(Flashback 3-4 years ago)

She was one of my good friends, heavily pregnant and happily eating all the Raya food served at my Mom’s open house. You can see she was glowing with happiness being served with smorgasbord of delicious traditional Raya food.

Then as she was about to take a second helping, her mother-in-law scolded her in front of everyone saying how greedy she was and how embarrassing it is to bring her to people’s house and etc. My mom and I were really shocked. What kind of a person would scold a pregnant woman who wants to eat? It’s not like my friend is a fat repulsive pregnant pig. She was as skinny as a stick for crying out loud!

My mom gently said it is okay, there’s plenty of food for everyone and my friend can eat as much as she can. I joked (and at the same time hinted) that maybe my friend was not fed properly at home and that is the reason why she’s so hungry. The mother-in-law loudly declared that my friend has been fed more than enough at home and that she eats a lot like greedy pig every hour of the day.

I was speechless. I truly was. Never would I imagine there’s a human being in this world as cruel and as heartless as that woman. I mean, my friend was clearly PREGNANT 8 months long or more that time and to tell a pregnant woman to NOT eat is like telling her to stop breathing all together!

 

As I scoop another spoonful of curry into my plate on the first day of Hari Raya, I gave a silent thank to God for giving me such wonderful, supporting and loving family and in-laws who encourage me to eat, whatever, whenever and however I want.

Syukur alhamdulillah…